Morning all!
It's Friday at last. I'll be going to a friend's birthday party later this evening, it's being held at their house. It promises to be a civilised event with excellent food, some good music and loads of my mates going. I'm looking forward to it.
When was the last time you held a house party and what wacky/immoral/illegal shenanigans transpired?
Alt: American elections. Vitally important or a bit meh?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:18, 96 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I had a party after the birthday(s) bash.
Waqqqiness = 0
Immorality = 0
Illegality = 10

Generally speaking you have to be a bit stupid to hold a full-on house party. Our flat is small anyway which keeps things manageable.

Alt: I couldn't care a fig about internal US politics but their position on the world stage as the AIEEE GREAT SATAN has probably been eased a little by having Obama as frontman so giving him a second term is prolly a good idea. I rather like the 'maximum two terms' rule I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:27, Reply)

this is bollocks, the number of drone attacks that have occured under the Obama administration have increased hugely
the Pakistanis hate him, which considering how important they are in the "war on terror" isn't all that helpful
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:57, Reply)

They hate you more.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:12, Reply)

last time we had a party here was when we moved in.
It wasn't terribly waki, there was some sex in the bogs, and probably a fair bit of weed, but we don't party like we used to. I lived in a squat for a year, that was bonkers.

I'm with Monty on the election thing, although obama election party I went to first time round, I got to sleep with a girl I'd fancied for ages, so gets my vote.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:36, Reply)

My brother lived in squats for ten years starting when he was at college
He is the only person I've ever met who graduated in credit without a penny of debt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:38, Reply)

it was equal parts awesome, and the most hellish place to live.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:42, Reply)

My brother would say the same.
He woke up freezing after a party one morning to find that some comedians had removed his front door and thrown it off the balcony.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Oh man, those crazy squatters and the lives they lead.
I'm glad it's all illegal now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:45, Reply)

I'm surprised you feel that way.
Going a bit right wing in your old age, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:48, Reply)

He's been persuaded by the humour and wit of Boris Johnson.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:49, Reply)

I love his crazy antics.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:50, Reply)

I agree it should be illegal.
we were never asked to leave though.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:00, Reply)

My brother lived in condemned council blocks (nice)
so were he not there, the flats would have been empty. Unbelievably, when they finally tore the blocks down, he'd squatted there so long the council offered him a flat in the new build. Had he not had to fuck off sharpish he'd have been housed for life as a reward for stealing gas and electric and a flat off Manchester City Council. Nice one, 'the state'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:03, Reply)

the street we were on was going to be torn down,
but there was a couple of old people refused to sell as "theyd been there since the war." as far as I know it all got knocked down on the end.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I hope they left the old people inside when they did it.
It would have eradicated the smell of wee.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Les Dennis and Dustin Gee?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Yes, it was them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:55, Reply)

sounds about right,
I came home one weekend to find my room trashed because "we took a bit too much acid"
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:59, Reply)

Nice one, 'friends'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:00, Reply)

I was going to put some hilarious comment that references popular 90s sit-com 'Friends' here
But then I realised that I don't actually know enough about it to do so.
Er... LOL?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:02, Reply)

I GET THIS REFERENCE!! LOL!!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Good morning.
I'm off to a gin parlour tonight - www.thejekyllandhyde.co.uk/ginll-fix-it_88_3.html

The last party I held was in August, to celebrate my birthday and took place in the garden not the house.
I had a large buffet, prepared by the chefs from the Indian Empress and some kegs of beer from Purity Brewery.
There was little in the way of wackiness or immorality and the only illegality I was aware of was the sneaky joint I smoked after the kids had gone to bed.

Alt: It's fairly important who governs the world's largest economy and superpower, yes.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:37, Reply)

Was it a veggie buffet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:39, Reply)

Of course
A traditional South Indian Thali consisting of around eight or nine dishes.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)

BORING

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:45, Reply)

We made it more interesting by using your mum to serve it Nyotaimori style.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:48, Reply)

I can imagine that's far less appealing with curry than it is with sushi.
And it's not terribly appealing with sushi.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Sounds delicious
Went to a party at an Indian mate's place a couple of years ago. His mum and aunts insisted on catering for it (he wanted a BBQ!). The food was awesome and completely vegetarian, rarely have I eaten so much in one evening.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Way to spoil your guests Tangles.
Why is it veggies think it's okay to make their friends eat veggie food, but if they go to a 'normal' house, they'd refuse to eat meat?

*Opens floodgates, stands back*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:50, Reply)

It's because veggies are selfish cunts.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:52, Reply)

shellfish cunts.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:53, Reply)

last house party I went to
I got horrifically drunk and was very offensive.

Shamefaced.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Got your Joy Division 'party rockers' ready for this evening?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)

yeah I think so.
Going in with Optimo by Liquid Liquid. Not hip hop but ace.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:43, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:45, Reply)

Dozer is the one in the pink dungarees

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Pink Vivienne Westwood dungarees if you don't mind.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:53, Reply)

I heard he spent hours selecting a tie to compliment them.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Ties rarely offer any praise.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Tee hee

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:58, Reply)

He had help from Craig David.
BOW-SELECTA!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:57, Reply)

I'm glad you included the explanation with this joke this time.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:58, Reply)

I heard that no matter how long he spent choosing a tie
he still looked like a four-foot leisure centre manager with desperate 'I'm still a student, honest' eyebrow piercings and a delusional idea of how this is perceived by what he refers to as 'chicks'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:58, Reply)

That's just what I heard, though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:58, Reply)

I heard he wore your Mum like a hat.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:06, Reply)

+ Gregg's

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Bebbeh!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:08, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:09, Reply)

GREGGS HAT, BABY GREGGS HAT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

MMPS is not going to be feeling very well today.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 8:59, Reply)

Because he's from north of the border and therefore permanently drunk?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:01, Reply)

My sig is a post of his from /talk at about 1am today.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:05, Reply)

genius

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Good news! I am no longer banned from OT!
Bad news, I cut a massive chunk out of my finger last night, it looks meaty and won't stop bleeding
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Were you banned?
Don't lie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Is aw currently on a tour of duty in Helband province?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I fear so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:05, Reply)

what for?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:05, Reply)

He fingered Rob's kids.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Em-Vee baiting I suspect.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:13, Reply)

He got banned for being so shit at chopping onoins.
I heard Ape has a cupboard full of dehydrated onions that he uses to get that oniony taste.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Ha!
It was spring onions actually.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:04, Reply)

He didn't have time to "cut up" some onions.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:09, Reply)

banned by work, there must have been something on the home page that triggered the filters

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Either that or they are monitoring your internet activity in order to build a case for dismissal against you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:05, Reply)

*logs out*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:06, Reply)

I hope it's this
I really really hope its this.

Were you here when kitty got fired for browsing b3ta in the solicitors where she worked?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:06, Reply)

that's not very nice is it Al?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I know it isn't nice Ape
but honestly, if you had to put up with reading your posts whenever you logged on here you'd also hope that you got fired.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Without me this place is nothing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:11, Reply)

nothing so much better
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:13, Reply)

I'm feeling pretty unloved today

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:14, Reply)

feeling pretty unloved today a bent spastic
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:15, Reply)

it's like a mobius strip of bullying : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:21, Reply)

I was not.
Did she find it empowering?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I believe she left to set up her own brothel.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Thus freeing herself from the shackles of male oppression.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:12, Reply)

She'll use shackles if you ask her to.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:13, Reply)

And I'll use my super soaker.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Your work have just gazzed me and asked me to tell you that you're still banned
and that if you ever post on here EVER AGAIN they're going to shoot your wife and child.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:06, Reply)

thanks for that "Clarkson"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:07, Reply)

No problem "Hammond"

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Piss off "May"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

He is a complete "organ" isn't he.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

His nickname at school was the "Wurlwitzer wanker"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Because he couldn't afford a proper Wurlitzer?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:24, Reply)

I bet NA has those fake market 'adidas' with four stripes.
Yeti had some fake Nike socks once which had and upside down swoosh and 'Hike' on them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:26, Reply)

my mum used to buy my trainers at M&S : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:26, Reply)

my mum used to I
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)

M&S sold the
St Michael Jordan shoe.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Sadidas.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)

*click*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Aren't they in the book I got you?
Sadidas Kick - the popular, black leather 'market' brand from the 80s.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)

They're on the front cover.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:42, Reply)

*claps*
*click*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 9:38, Reply)