No time for reading. That penis isn't going to stick itself up my arse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:29, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Monty'll help you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Is that you, Mum? I'm blind drunk.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)

You'll all get bored of this before I do.
(This is so patently untrue, isn't it? This is going to haunt me forever)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

It's done out of love.
And because it is fucking hilarious.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Only until someone else owns up to something worse
Which, looking at the shower round here, shouldn't take long.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Don't drop the soap

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

you're posting from the shower?
kinky
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

only for you, petal.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

gosh i'm all steamed up

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

do manage to stick my cock up my arse
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

you can talk to me
i'm not one to go on and on about old things until everyone is bored of them and then go on about them some more, oh no.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Have you got your listening Greggs Hat on?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

i listened to it last night after you alerted me to its presence
and yea verily i did LOL
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Nice bit of drunken catterwalling.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

still better than the original

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I would like to own up to my ignorance of this Greggs Hat debacle.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

me too.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

re-cap:
monty and stunned met my ex
thought he looked like he was wearing a greggs hat
much has been made on here of said greggs hat

i was walking home last night
lying on the pavement was...
.... a greggs hat

many LOLS were had
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

whats a greggs hat.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

a hat that the staff wear in greggs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

oh, see, now that makes sense,
I thought it was some hitherto undiscovered style of headwear.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

All sang to the tune of the B-52's "Love shack"
substituting the real lyrics with Greggs Hat wherever possible.

So, If you see a Greggs Hat at the side of the road etc.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)

A hat worn by employees of popular high-street bakery chain Greggs

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I read that without the 's' and thought you were using it as rhyming slang.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

bum penis lol.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

My favourite rhyming slang is
'tried to stick my cock up my own glass' which is cockney for 'tried to stick my cock up my own arse'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

like the susan boyle twitter fiasco
where susan album party has predictably rocked the interweb as

sus anal bum party

now come and play in my shiny new thread without stomping it this time
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

It's a good one.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Good one.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:57, Reply)

hang on, your ex wears a hat in public, regardless of what it looks like?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

he did that day
something to do with a bad hair day...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I'd call him a screaming bertie
but that'd be like pissing into niagra falls.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

viagra falls

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)

'Drink your tea before it gets cold'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)