i'll tell you what, my friday does not get off to a good start when i get the following call:
"hi swipe, we've got 2 bailiffs here, threatening to take our stuff."

"oh right. well don't let them in, whatever you do. [boring legal chat]"

5 mins later i ask to speak to the bailiffs to frighten them off

"oh, they're just inside, they needed the toilet..."

fucking hell, what part of DON'T LET THEM IN WHATEVER YOU DO did you not understand?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:02, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You out L8R?
EDIT Jesus what idiots
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)

bailiffs try anything
i had one on my side who got the squatter out by telling him there was a phone call for him... door opens, squatter comes out, bailiff goes in.... sadly few squatters are that dim.

i didn't know about any later - oh wait - is this with jeff? i can't, am at cinema tonight :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)

At least squatting is now illegal, on private residential property anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:08, Reply)

it's just made them target commercial properties
also they didn't include bits of resi that aren't the house, so you could have squatters in your garden shed, for example. either criminalise it or don't - half measures just confuse things!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:09, Reply)

If that's the case then your wife should be arrested
after what she was doing with my glass coffee table last night.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:11, Reply)

lucky he won't be turning up to pizzabash
he might take revenge. and i have a glass coffee table AND a glass dining table, for bigger loads
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:17, Reply)

not only am i not coming to pizza bash, I'm not coming tonight either

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)

you're not coming to pizza bash? when my oak floors are just down the road from yours?
i am not sure i will ever get over this
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)

the surprise and shock must be overwhelming

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)

YES !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:34, Reply)

I heard that your film has been cancelled due to bad weather.
See you later!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:10, Reply)

hahahaha
at least we get to see each other next fri. i am looking forward to that. i might even clean the flat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:11, Reply)

the flat my foofoo
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:12, Reply)

the first bit was clearly a lie
the cleaner cleans my flat and i have a manicure on fridays.

your strikethrough is just childish and wrong. b3ta is neither of those things.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:13, Reply)

You have a cleaner you effing liar x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:14, Reply)

true
the thing is, she's not very good. the previous ones from that agency have been amazing. but she leaves me notes that say things like "can you buy more toilet duck? hope you like my work xx" so i can't sack her.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Sack her witha note taped to the front door

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:17, Reply)

is that how you dump your birds?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I find fax is the best way

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Alright Phil Collins

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:20, Reply)

I am not overly familiar with the work of Phil Collins
so this means nothing to me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)

oh Vienna

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)

You don't need to be.
He divorced his wife by fax.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:37, Reply)

'I'm a lawyer and I am suing your agency for theft and incompetence - hope you like my work xx'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)

If your tenant is that thick then losing their telly might teach them a lesson

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)

i frightened the bailiff off for 7 days (i can be very scary in a posh "sue your ass" kind of way)
even though my client was clearly in the wrong. ha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Baliffs have fuck all rights, but they usually don't turn up unless you've beena prick
what had this lot done?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)

not paid the landlord
i found a technicality in the demand which sent them away, but doesn't change the reality that the client hasn't paid!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:09, Reply)