probably the caribbean cruise we went on one christmas
we didn't bother with any of that shit, but my god there are some american princess-types who dress up in proper ballgowns for dinner every night. and when i tried to book a manicure in the salon, i was told that every single appointment for every single treatment had been booked up months in advance. utter twats. amazing holiday though.

alt: sexy gilbert and sullivan? can't say i know a word of their stuff, apart from the bits that sideshow bob sings in the sexy simpsons
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:51, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alt: you do, you just don't know you do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Fucking Americans.
Ballgowns are for white tie functions. EVERY fucker knows that for your standard evening function it's a cocktail dress.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)

you'd like the group of Uni students that ptched up after their "black tie dinner"
It was a car crash of appaling suits.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Did any of them turn up in a black business suit and four in hand?
I do like it when they do that.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:57, Reply)

I hate the four in hand
I myself prefer a half windsor.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I usually tie a double windsor.

( Kroney, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:13, Reply)

how come some parties are called functions?
What is the function of a party? Stupid fucking posh pricks, renting out a room in a pub for some sausage rolls and cava isn't a fucking function

You dicks
(quintsy, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED SHUT UP

( Kroney, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)

well it shouldn't be, if the function is that it's a social thing then it should funcktion off

(quintsy, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Your mum is a function.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:00, Reply)

yeah well your mum is a dullction

(quintsy, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Your mum is a Dick Shun
This is possibly the best thing I have ever written
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:30, Reply)

I fear it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:52, Reply)

It's a social function if the purpose of the gathering is something other than getting drunk and pulling the office tart
like those charity drive things the Americans do.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:01, Reply)

yeah but I've been to loads of parties where they call it a function
But there's no function to it at all, are you calling all caterers a liar?
(quintsy, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Caterers are renowned liars, Quints. That's why they're caterers and not high court judges.

( Kroney, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)

monty's stools are so black that they have trouble finding a job, and rarely pay child support

(quintsy, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:06, Reply)

What wankers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)

mostly they were just annoying and refused to use stairs, ever, so that when we needed the lifts with the kids' buggies they were always full
of fatasses going up one flight of stairs.

all of it was fine apart from the cunts who told the filippino waitress off for saying merry christmas "because it is offensive to say that to just anyone". that made me want to yell CUUUUNTS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:01, Reply)

OH MY GOD THEY USED A LIFT THAT IS FOR PUBLIC USE!!!!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:18, Reply)

FIE ON THEM!!! FIE, I SAY!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)

You know,
in all honesty, i'd much rather have fat people on my holiday, than disgusting, noisy fucking children.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Oh no, when I was on a caribean cruise that my daddy paid for
someone else on the cruise whose daddy paid for them had planned their trip better than me and the whole thing was ruined. WAAAAHH WAAAAAHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 10:55, Reply)

you clearly misunderstand the importance of a manicure
that's the kind of shit bob geldoff should have been singing about
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 11:00, Reply)