Morning
Why is Monty such an epic flid-cunt?

Edited for monty
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 7:40, 81 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

it is indeed.
another weekend like that would kill me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 7:44, Reply)

NO, JUST HAVING A SHIT!!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 7:45, Reply)

HAVING A BEING
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 7:49, Reply)

Morning
No more Pigeon related trouble I hope?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 7:53, Reply)

Nah, I showed that sky rat who was boss, although immediately after that ugly confrontation
a moorhen pecked my foot :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:28, Reply)

Something about birds dig you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:35, Reply)

alright Nakey Noos?
You now have a competitor in the fancy wooden flooring stakes.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:00, Reply)

You are too poor for carpet as well, eh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:03, Reply)

Alright son?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:06, Reply)

Guten Morgen
I have had a stinking cold all weekend and now it's receded sufficiently to make having to go to work the reasonable option. What's up with that then, eh? Bloody germs on a weekend.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:08, Reply)

Where's the question, you snivelling little shit?
I went to a beer festival on Saturday, having never been to one before. Bit of a window into a world I knew nothing about, to say the least. Fucking weirdos. Nice beer though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

WTN

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:26, Reply)

I nearly threw up on the tube this morning.
That was pretty cool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:28, Reply)

Not food related I hope

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:28, Reply)

Oh certainly not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:29, Reply)

I went to bed at 9. Ten hours solid sleep.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:30, Reply)

I wish to God I'd done that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:32, Reply)

Is congac food?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:30, Reply)

I don't know what that is, sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:31, Reply)

Ah ywe,

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Yahweh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:37, Reply)

On train and keep losing reception, h

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:39, Reply)

+apless

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

+ it me in the face, for, you see, I am a bent spastic

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Ah yes, coGNac

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

No cognac yesterday but this stuff is a revelation:
www.cellartracker.com/wine.asp?iWine=144589
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:40, Reply)

I've been fortunate with beer festivals
Of the 6 I've been to, only 1 was bad.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:05, Reply)

This one was in a rather nice old chapel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Morning

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:26, Reply)

Morning I'm on a train that smells of dust

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:30, Reply)

I'll tell you why.
It all goes back to my childhood when I was sexually abused by your mum.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Your mum sexually abused my mum

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Your mum sexually amused my mum.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:45, Reply)

I made up a joke: What is a jedi's favourite type of music?
...
...
...

Yoda-ling!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

:o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:45, Reply)

I think its just you and me
Wait there while I slip into sometging'more comfortable'
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:53, Reply)

*prays it's 'a coma'*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:53, Reply)

you have wierd sexual fantasies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:57, Reply)

The thought of you in a coma is giving me a 'lazy lob-on'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:59, Reply)

It's serious!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:59, Reply)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

I blame his Mums

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 8:59, Reply)

agreed
This also why he has such an aversion to shellfish
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

and carpet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

This is a good start to the week eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Fucking great.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Apart from all the weekend pandering to Cavy, what did anyone get up to?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:16, Reply)

I ate a lot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:20, Reply)

I too ate a lot
Made a practice Christmas meal yesterday with chicken instead of turkey. Parnsips with honey and grain mustard FTW!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Scallops with chilli, pheasant & partridge casserole, treacle tart, cheese, beer, white wine, red wine, dessert wine, port.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Ooof!
You win
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:27, Reply)

As do I, it was fucking NOM.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)

I've been on the epic piss all weekend
and enjoyed a simply marvellous meal with certain b3tans yesterday. I have the shakes and feel incredibly nauseated.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Well done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:24, Reply)

No daughter access, so I drowned my sorrows, and did so mightily.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Good plan
I did the over-proud Dad yesterday when my daughter passed her stage 4 swimming
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Awww, nice one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Works do that went a little tits up
A woman from the office and I were due to be sharing a taxi, but we got seperated, meaning that it turned into a £25 taxi for me at 1am. Joy(!)

Spent Saturday afternoon wandering round Birmingham, that was hellish. Aside from that and watching football, it's been a quiet weekend.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Birmingham. Eurgh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)

I quite like Broad St and the bars/restaurants round there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

£25 quid is a bargin taxi ride at 1 in the morning

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Depends on the distance.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:36, Reply)

well clearly, but central london to almost anywhere will cost that much at least

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:40, Reply)

I had a stinking cold
but made myself a slow-cooker chicken jalfrezi which turned out excellent and surely assisted me in preventing it turning into full-blown manflu. Apart from that it was mostly sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

I saw this and was jealous

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Used three green chillies rather than 2 green and (optional) 2 red as specified in the recipe
and that was juuuust right.

Because I'm a fat bastard it only made 3 servings instead of 4 though, so I only have 1 in the freezer. Next time more chicken, more onion, maybe a bit of chicken stock.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I don't think this thread is really a very positive start to our monday.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:28, Reply)

I've hijacked it for generic weekend stories

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

I'm not telling you about my weekend.
no siree.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Talking of which Windy have you recovered from yesterday?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:37, Reply)

yesterday?
I spent most of yesterday drinking.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Bollocks innit Winders
Needs moar Wilf.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

I dunno,
i think we need a thread that isn't by nakers.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I must admit I’m surprised that nobody has mentioned Patrick Moore yet

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Patrick 'is no' Moore?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:38, Reply)

No more Mr Night Sky

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:39, Reply)

^ stolen from Sickipedia ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:41, Reply)

via Facebook

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

But Batts, who’s going to play the xylophone now?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Roy Ayers?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I like him.
m.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/dec/09/sir-patrick-moore

The bit about politics is very funny.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:49, Reply)

I've started a new thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)