THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH*
What would you do in your last hour?

Alt:
It is fucking Friday. Celebrate this fact with your weekend/Christmas plans


*not nigh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:41, 117 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Probably just have a joint and a last wank.
Then spend the rest of the hour trying to decide which record to listen to last.

Alt: Off to see some bands play tonight.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:46, Reply)

I've decided - I'm going to listen to Lord Kitchener.
How long have I got left now?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I've got that Friday feeling, but I've also got that 'oh shit I'm going to spend the whole fucking weekend present-shopping and going to family gatherings' feeling.

( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:47, Reply)

present-shopping and going to family gatherings slumped in a shop doorway cradling a 3L bottle o'White Lightning', in a puddle of my own wee-wee.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I have one final lunchtime dash today and that is it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Sorted all mine ages ago
wrapped them last night

*lights croissant*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

It is two more I need
The rest are wrapped
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

*thunderous present fives*
glass of cognac, old chap?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

I say!
Don't mind if I do, what, what
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)

mine are wrapped and under the tree...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)

uhhh well I'm planning on having some drugs to make the hayfever go away.
and then sleeping through the apocalypse. I don't need that sort of scary shit.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:47, Reply)

So, when it happens, we'll know we can blame you.
Poppet, asleep on her watch, when she could have prevented the LOLpocolypse.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

pretty much yeah

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Making onion marmalade tonight.
Kid tomorrow, more gift making Sat night and Sun I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Kid marmalade is a fucker to get to set, Monts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

You can't jam. ....oh.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

THAT'S THE J... oh.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

and it goes EVERYWHERE if you don't treat it right....

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

i find a jot of spunk does the trick

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

ah, the Nigella Lawson recipe?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Yup

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I'm doing the coca cola ham on Sunday

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

best of all the hams

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Indeed
Mrs Cow has gone a touch overboard and bought £22 worth of meat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Meh.
It's not Christmas unless you crowbar in enough ham to get the meat sweats.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Kill as many as possible.
Just because.

It is indeed friday. I am leaving work early, doing a load of baking, drinking some wine, making a pizza, hitting the pub and then getting up FUCKEARLY to go to the in-laws for Christmas, via a FUCKHUGE pram shop in Glasgow.

You may sense there are some parts of this - the parts, perhaps, in CAPITALS that are less appealing than the rest of the scenario.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Prams aren't cheap either. The bugaboo we got was about £550.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Because you are pretentious.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Because my wife chose it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Get stoned, sit in the fridge like Indiana Jones.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Just to be clear
is this what you'd do with the last hour of earth, or simply your plans for the weekend?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Why can't it be both?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:05, Reply)

It could.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Just the end of the world, or until I can hook my XBOX up in the fridge.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Alright, mush?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I am going to owe you a kidney...
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:11, Reply)

What was the bet again?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I'd get a first, now considering how badly my final placement went that isn't going to happen.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)

What was so bad about it?
Alright Bob.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:22, Reply)

hello mate, just tough area, not what I was used too, no other blokes at all and my expectations of learners were far too high.TLDR - IM FUCKING SHIT.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Unlucky mon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Am hopefully having an early finish then off to outfit shop for tonights work do
I concur with the joint and wank for my last motions on this earth.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

earl happ
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Also welcome!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Tonight: recovering from last night
Tomorrow: flying home
Sunday: driving to Edinburgh
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Has the apocalypse killed you all then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)

No, llamas.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:29, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/apocalypse/
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)

tl;dr

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Soz m8, just hanging out on the secret board.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)

:(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Kill Bill is on iPlayer
There's my morning sorted
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Are you off?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Nope - at work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:55, Reply)

For some reason
I have 19 bottles of various spirits and 5 boxes of Cuban cigars left over in the car boot I thought I’d given them all out to clients.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:59, Reply)

*raises hand for free spirits*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)

All top name brands to boot
Can't give out cheap stuff can we
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Is it true that b3th's brother actually did kill Bill for touching his missus' bum?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:38, Reply)

It's deader than AA's mum here today.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Another one
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/police-raid-tv-weatherman-fred-talbots-home-as-part-of-sex-abuse-investigation-8428474.html
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)

And another
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/police-raid-b3ta-oddball-hartley-hares-home-as-part-of-sex-abuse-investigation-8428474.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Hahahahaha Hartley you fucking nonce

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:53, Reply)

My hangover is getting worse.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Mine has plateau'd.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)

We were celebrating my mate & his missus adopting a child out here. A great night & a great reason to get absolutely trousered.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:57, Reply)

8(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Hmm
The end of the world looks quite similar to yesterday in Newcastle
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Is it safe to come out yet?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:19, Reply)

I'm not gay

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:20, Reply)

My anderson shelter saved the world

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Suddenly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)

No need to get angry

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Any zombies?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:23, Reply)

In Newcastle?
How could you tell?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:25, Reply)

Everyone is looking for some brains

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:28, Reply)

This is why I moved, they were all after me!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:31, Reply)

Are they on the same timeframe?
Bit presumptuous of us Brits to think the Mayans synchronised their watches to GMT
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Useless cunts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)