You should read Gina Ford too, so you can upset all the other mums at the groups you will inevitably end up attending.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:49, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

We start NCT classes tomorrow night.
My wife has made me swear on everything that I hold dear that I will not open my mouth about anything, no matter how ridiculous it is. She's only going to meet people who'll have babies at the same time.

I'm so going to get us thrown out, I know it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:51, Reply)

You are going to find that incredibly difficult.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)

I got through the "marriage classes"
no-body died.

But, yeah, this'll be harder.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)

It's very easy to make pregnant women cry.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:55, Reply)

It's OK, mine's a rational one.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)

In my opinion pregnant women
can do what they like. The whole thing looks like it sucks and therefore any shitness during that time if forgiven.

Parents, however, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)

have your parents grounded you?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)

she just needs to get pregnant so she can come in at whatever time she likes

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)

Ask if you can put breast milk on cornflakes
always goes down a storm
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)

it wasn't that bad as I remember, just let it wash over you
mainly it's dull
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)

I'm told they like to show you a melon
as an example of how much the birth canal can stretch, for "positive re-enforcement" of natural birth.

How producing a huge piece of fruit and going "see that? that's coming out of your foof whether you like it or not" is positive re-enforcement I have no idea.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:01, Reply)

Don't remember that on any of ours
some bloke did ask the cornflakes question though, to an embarrased silence.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)

can you eat them with breastmilk?
do you fill your pants with them to soak up the broken waters
what happens if your baby comes out with a big green and red cock?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)

my wife massively promotes the use of drugs when giving birth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)

^^this very much
book an epidural early on, the anaethetists are very busy and if you decide late on you need one it's tough titty.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)

bascialy pre epidural, she was miserable
after the epidural she was fine.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Yup
pity you can't get them as a monthly prescription
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)

I've still got a load of Meptazinol left over from when Mrs tangle didn't give birth at home.
I haven't worked out a way to use it recreationally yet though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)

shove it up your cockend and shit out a Monty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:30, Reply)

blow it up your bumhole using a trumpet.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Looks like a waste of time
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3829579
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:36, Reply)

just take it all at once
intravenously
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)

maybe it's a double bluff and you should dissolve them in rum and siphon it up your self

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)

"limited abuse potential" is just med test speak for "people aren't trying hard enough"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Good point.
I shall try all these suggestions then.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)