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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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This morning.
I got on my bathroom scales for the first time in months, and they said "Oi, one at a time please!"

Everyone's a fucking critic.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 10:56, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
'No coach parties'

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 10:57, Reply)
"Domestic use only. Not for use in zoos."

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 10:59, Reply)
'Queue on the left'

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 10:59, Reply)
I'm going to end up being carried out of my house by firemen :-(

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:02, Reply)
After they've smashed a couple of walls down.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:04, Reply)
I rather think that was the joke.
Are you dopey?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Very very tired.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Sleepy, then.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
CLICK

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)
"weighbridge this way"

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:00, Reply)
"would you like to convert metric fuck tons into kilos?"

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:02, Reply)
"I am a talking scale, that's pretty impressive don't you think"

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:01, Reply)
That's nothing.
You should hear what my talking toilet says.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:04, Reply)
'I cannae take anymore Captain'

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Haha yeah my talking kettle insisted that I go out and kill some prostitutes with my hammer last night.
Don't you hate it when they do that?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Not really. I quite enjoy it.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:07, Reply)
"That's no moon!"

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 11:09, Reply)

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