The one I get a thousand times daily was 'but I didn't change anything it just stopped working'
alt: HATS INDOORS

altalt: I'll be both ta, you don't tell me what to do.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:38, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

ahh, you work in IT then.
alt: see also scarves.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)

Today's my favourite of days, patch day
Where everyone gets 'poor performance since the patch' and 'it was ok until the patch'
mmmmmmm
alt: Yes, outdoor wear. It's bloomin' rude.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:47, Reply)

noting ever works after upgrades :o(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

Yeah, we're all disappointed that after your name upgrade
you're still the same shit old Nakers underneath.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)

nice analogy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)

And sunglasses...

Pricks.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

"I'm definitely putting my password in right, but it just won't accept it".
Either you're lying, or too stupid to type, or machines have become self-aware and instead of trying to destroy the greatest threat to the world, that of humanity, they've taken to playing petty practical jokes.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)

or you've failed to notice the little green Caps Lock light.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

I do get it to a certain degree
To most people computers are like magic boxes
But then so are cars and they never start arguments with mechanics
Probably cos they're 25 stone and holding a wrench at the time.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)

People are stupid enough to argue with mechanics and builders and plumbers etc.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:51, Reply)

Really? I always thought they were the kind of person you treat with a sort of shy worshipfulness
Anyone who fixes stuff for me is to be adored and given whatever they desire, lest they fuck it up and then I'll never get X fixed
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)

See, I wouldn't mind
but then they start arguing with the magic box wizard about how the magic box works. Stop arguing with me and just do what I tell you to do.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)

Now I may not know much about computers
But it worked fine before you 'patched' it. I thought the purpose of a patch was to make it better? Even a layman can see you fucked it up. Admit it, you fucked it up didn't you. I'm cancelling my subscription.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)

We got this after the Windows 7 migration.
The OS has a far larger footprint, is far more resource intensive than XP and was being installed on the same machines.

"I thought it was going to be faster :("
( Kroney, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)

But why would a normal person know any of that footprint shit?
i've said it before and I'll say it again, we just want it to work, we don't care how or why.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Well, a normal person would listen to me tell them that it had all of that
that is was the same machine, that it'd got replaced because MS was removing support for XP so we had no choice and we'd never said at any point it'd be faster and then not thrown a fucking tantrum.

I can only surmise that we don't have normal people working for us and therefore I treat them with the contempt they deserve.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:00, Reply)

basically your company was too tight to upgrade the hardware to go with the software?
I've got this shizzle nailed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)

Nah, they're on a three year lease.
Makes sense because you don't have to actually buy the machines. Like a phone contract, except you send the phone back when you get your "free" upgrade.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)

It took me 17 minutes this morning to turn my computer on and load the stuff I need to do work
FIX IT
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

you need to clean up your desktop, clean out your inbox, delete your account and kill yourself.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)

JAPES

( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 17:08, Reply)