Spas are rubbish
take the £300 and fuck off down the pub
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 11:50, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

can't, i can only spend it through our dedicated travel agency
you should do something nice for mother's day for your wife, might get you some brownie points.

By brownie points, I'm not suggesting you'll go from sleeping on a mates couch straight to anal btw
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 11:51, Reply)

The best of all the bus rides.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 11:53, Reply)

She's not my mother.
Kids should get her something. Besides I got fuck all for fathers day.
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 11:54, Reply)

that's kind of what i meant, do something from/with your kids saying what a good mum she is
trust me on this one PJ
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Nah, they're on their own.
They should get their pre-school arses down the town centre and buy their own fucking card.

Kids are such freeloaders.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Lie you mean?

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)

if you must

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)

No one likes hearing the truth.
Especially not in a mother's day card.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Dear Mummy,
Thank you for being such a great mummy, we don't mind that you hit daddy and kicked him out, he's a right cunt anyway,

Love Optimus Prime and Skeletor
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)

And here we have Post Of The Day everybody.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)

I liked it
If only for Optimus Prime and Skeletor.
They're not even in my top ten favourite kids.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)

Stay about from my kids!

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)

I feel bad that you're having a tough time recently.
But you're being good value on here at the moment.
So... Swings and roundabouts
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)

It seems more than fair that others should get some enjoyment from my misery
I've been enjoying you lots agony for years.
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Hang about
She hit you? I know she's only a slip of a thing and you're a MACHO MACHO MAN but all the same. That's bang out of order.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)

It does say that he's a right cunt and probably deserved it and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Hang on, Al's our resident cunt
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)

I'm pretty sure that's why Monty's ex didn't get prosecuted.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Yeh, thankfully shes not very strong
I bought it up in the counselling and she seems to only recall one time three weeks ago but I remember at least 5 occasions where she's lost it and lashed out.
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Christ mate
Take her to the fucking cleaners

I mean in the counselling, don't batter her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)

HADDOCK LOLS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Your heart's not in this punning game
You have to really try, there's no point in posting for the halibut
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)

He has the heart, he just doesn't have the sole

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)

Spare me your cod psycology

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Learn to know your plaice

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Can't I just demand anal and a few noshes in reparations?

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)

If only the French government in the 1920s had shared your enterprising attitude

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)

They could have avoided WWII if they had just accepted a Nosh from one of the three attractive German birds at the time
and a bit of anal from a couple of German 5 pinters
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)

We need to go back in time and suggest this to them
We'll take a video camera and kickstart Germany's main export business
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)