b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1875044 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

good morning.
I see this morning that Battered shall be off to prison soon for posting that Jon Venables picture. I should imagine he'll love it in there, all those angry, muscly men. Who else should be sent to prison? You can't say Tony Blair.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 7:45, 192 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
From what I hear you were quite fortunate not to be nicked early on Saturday evening.
Failure to recognise a glass door. You flapping great bellend.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 7:49, Reply)
my decision making abilities were not at their razor-sharp best

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 7:52, Reply)
at their normal level then

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:19, Reply)
what did you do?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)
K*te and G*rry McC*nn
(edited for legal reasons)
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 7:59, Reply)
Lord McAlpine.
For no reason whatsoever.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:01, Reply)
I've had him

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:02, Reply)
I fingered his bumhole.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:03, Reply)
Catholic priests could do with a stretch inside.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:02, Reply)
I think those choir boys have suffered enough already.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:08, Reply)
People in glass houses...

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:10, Reply)
......shouldn't stow gnomes.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:20, Reply)
This poster
www.b3ta.com/questions/lolbigots/post1874781
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:08, Reply)
it's not entirely his fault
the children have to share a lot of the blame for being sexy

that's called contributory negligence
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:19, Reply)
Fucking hell.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)
nignogs

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:10, Reply)
Brian Cant.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:13, Reply)
You cant.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:14, Reply)
I heard he got fucked up on bath salts and tried to eat a policeman's face

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:15, Reply)
...was a real pissant who was very rarely stable

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
Factual accuracy: a link was posted to where the image could be accessed if people wished to view it.
That link was removed after about 3 minutes to prevent a visit to the naughty step.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Factual accuracy: you goin down nigga

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:32, Reply)
Tell it to the judge, prison bitch.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:33, Reply)
Factual accuracy: dey gon' burm yo ass into the middle'a next week boah

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:35, Reply)
If I go down I'm taking as many of you cunts with me as I can.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:39, Reply)
I wish I could tell you that Battered fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be.
I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for a while - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Battered would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Battered - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:42, Reply)
ha ha

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:44, Reply)
Do you mind, it's a bit early for being amusing.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:49, Reply)
soz
I'll delete it shall I
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
Kids read this site OK?
All I'm saying is *think*, yeah?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:10, Reply)
I see the error of my ways now
kids should learn from an early age not to be happy in the mornings and to accept that life is just crushing misery until you get drunk and pilled up at the weekend
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)
The Battered Redemption.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:55, Reply)
I read it in Morgan Freeman's voice

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)
wanker

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Is this the Philip Schofield defense?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:07, Reply)
No one else.
Just Battered.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:42, Reply)
Yeah thanks

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Sorry, but someone needs to be made an example of as a warning to other would-be offenders.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:49, Reply)
fuck you all, I'm showing solidarity and posting the Venables pic

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
Listen I've told you about this 'being amusing' lark.
It's not what we do round here, OK? You need to crap on and on about bacon instead.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:15, Reply)
the beak should send him down for...
A SHORT STRETCH!
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Says someone more diminutive than me.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:49, Reply)
nope.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:50, Reply)
Every member of Coldplay, for making such utterly dull music that the radio stations insist on playing over and over again.
I had a croissant for breakfast this morning, which was nice.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:49, Reply)
None of the radio stations I listen to seem to play much Coldplay.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:49, Reply)
'Youssou N'Dour's Aboriginal Noseflute Hour' has, to my knowledge, never played Coldplay once.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:51, Reply)
I'm not aware of them using noseflutes on any of their songs.
More's the pity...
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
It's more the radio stations they have on in the factories here
Can't really ignore them, as I can hear it from my desk
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
that's because you're listening to a bowl of bulger wheat

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
It's now called Fergus wheat and is the subject of a court order.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)
It's not Coldplay's fault that people like them.
You sound like those people who blame the school when they have a thick/badly-behaved child.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:50, Reply)
It's easier to imprison 5 people than it would be to imprison every Coldplay fan, though
Easier solution
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:52, Reply)
always with the easy targets here

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:51, Reply)
I like Coldplay.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
yeah, but you've gone on record as not being into music.
If search was fixed I could empirically prove this.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)

b3ta.com/search/posts/48141?q=not+into+music
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:04, Reply)
it was a joke, but thanks anyway

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:06, Reply)
No problem

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:09, Reply)
FREE THE BATTERED ONE!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:56, Reply)
Again.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:57, Reply)
If you are unlucky you'll end up sharing a cell with Cardinal O'Brien.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)

un
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Monty?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
this deserves recognition

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
grudging click

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
I hear he will have the time of his life inside
Hes even going to be sharing a cell with Barryfromeastenders
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
That would be impossible.
*patiolols*
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:00, Reply)
Hey guys do you want to hear my relativley elegant solution to my "I have to get a new phone and a new tv" problem?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:58, Reply)
Will it also solve my "I have to get a new car" problem?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Only if you take it in the very very vaguest sense.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Ok, I'll do that.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
It's buy a phone on contract with a free TV.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:02, Reply)
So in the vaugest sense. "buy something"

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
Got you.
I shall follow this advice to the vaguest letter.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:04, Reply)
NO.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Cool!
www.affordablemobiles.co.uk/contract-mobile-phones/orange/panther_£36/samsung/s5690/48788150.html
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:02, Reply)
Link fail.
WTN.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
Fixed!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:03, Reply)
I'm still not clicking it.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:05, Reply)
The phone is cheap because someone's covered it in shit.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:06, Reply)
1GB Data? Shit plan.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:26, Reply)
I only ever really use 650ish a month.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:35, Reply)
How about now?
Al is a cunt
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Fucking hell I am KNACKERED
Not that I don't enjoy spending eight hours wondering why I'm not asleep, but I don't enjoy spending eight hours wondering why I'm not asleep
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:59, Reply)
You should try to get some sleep.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:00, Reply)
I'm so tired I feel drunk
and I haven't had a drink in two months. How unfair is that?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:07, Reply)
go get that beer and burger deal from wethrrspoons, perk you right up.
And it's like 6quid.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)
You should count bottoms

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Morning Boyce
We should lock up all the politicians. They are scum and let liberal minded middle class children fresh out of university who know what's best for everyone run the country, they seem to have all this time on their hands to blog about it and attend meetings.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Denise Fergus

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)
For fucks sake
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-21577948
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Ok Denise Fergus and those two cunts

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:39, Reply)
What would you dress as to get married?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Steam punk goblin.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:49, Reply)
god me too

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
In an odd twist, they have the same first names as a b3tan couple.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:50, Reply)
NO FIRST NAMES!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:52, Reply)
dear god

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:54, Reply)
If you were a spoon, what kind of spoon would you be?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:52, Reply)
A runcible spoon

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Ok.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)
You have to ask which contestant that's for.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:53, Reply)
This isn't a competition.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:55, Reply)
i'd be a spork

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:54, Reply)
The most useless of all spoons, suits you.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:54, Reply)
NOT IF YOU'RE CAMPING AND HAVE A TIN OF BEANS AND SAUSAGES AND THE SAUSAGES NEED CUTTING UP AND FORTKING AND THE BEANS NEED SPOONING

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Spoons can cut and spoon.
spastic.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:58, Reply)
They cannot fork the sausages though can they?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:03, Reply)
You can spoon a piece of sausage
unless you are a bent spastic
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:04, Reply)
^this

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Sporks are fucking shit
this is fact and can be found ln "Boy Bumper Book of Facts" in the cutlery section.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:04, Reply)
NO I AM THE FORTKING!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:08, Reply)
I said spoon.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Can I be a spoon billed sandpiper

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:56, Reply)
That's not a spoon.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)
OK what about one of these then

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:59, Reply)
what?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:00, Reply)
It's a Witherspoon

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:06, Reply)
what?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Tea spoon, so I can stir your hot sweet milky love.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:56, Reply)
This is disgusting.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)
I know, sugar in tea. yuk.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:59, Reply)
Too much milk and all.
If you don't mind, I'm not going to drink that.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Yeah, to be honest, I'm not 100% pleased with it myself
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:04, Reply)
POUR IT AWAY, START AGAIN

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:13, Reply)
I would be Spoonie G, the self proclaimed 'Godfather of Rap'

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:05, Reply)
how was brizzle?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
fucking LOL

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:10, Reply)
how did you nearly get arrested? or is this an exaggeration?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:18, Reply)
I was caught 'refreshing myself' and asked to leave.
No-one would have called the law.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:21, Reply)
Never heard wanking in the kiddie park called that before

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:25, Reply)
you were having a piss against someone's leg weren't you.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:28, Reply)
This one:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQLdztuMd1g
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:16, Reply)
I fucking love that tune.
Even Cream's cover is good despite Jack Bruce's overblown vocals.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:22, Reply)
a Bohemian Earspoon

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I still haven't got my Icons from donating
so I vote B3th goes to prison for being the worlds shittest mod
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:59, Reply)
I second this.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:59, Reply)
I think you're all stupid for giving money to such a shit place.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:01, Reply)
But search has been fixed.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Obviously my donation didn't help

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Hi Monty!
I slept in my own bed last night, do I win five pounds?
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:02, Reply)
where was your wife?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Next to me

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Did you lose any teeth?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Nope
and her mum and dad both text me this morning to say how glad they were that I was home.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:06, Reply)
AWWWWwwwwwwwwwwww
I'm happy for you too xxx
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I can't help thinking that this is all down to the good help and advice he received on here.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
deffo

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:11, Reply)
No doubt about it

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:25, Reply)
\o/

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
you've killed her haven't you?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:06, Reply)
With a spork

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:06, Reply)
sorry that should have read
WITH A SPORK!!!!!!1111onelolz
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:06, Reply)
She was out on a date, needed a babysitter.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:05, Reply)
I'm not Monty

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:05, Reply)
'LOL'

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Oh man that's excellent. Good stuff.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Now I just need to get her to start noshing me off again and things wil be perfect

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:32, Reply)
I'll tell her.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Once she's done noshing me off.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I'm sure rob can spare it, after all the extra dosh he conned out of us to get him to switch the computer on.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Hells bells

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Ding Dong

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Back in black

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
i prefer back in black

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Too slow

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I prefer ANDREW MARR!!!!!!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:12, Reply)
YES!
I too like Andrew Marr, and wish him a speddy recovery.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:14, Reply)
That's right, Speddy

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:16, Reply)
'spoddy' is a good word.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:32, Reply)
No it isn't.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:36, Reply)
yes it is, when used in its correct context, describing bald, white, bespectacled, borderline autistic, techno producers.
The kind of pricks who film Richie Hawtin mixing.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)
I am aware of its meaning.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Spoddy
adj. Something pertaining to, or possessing the characteristics or qualities of 'Spod'.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Yeah this is all very well but my Noggin the Nog game has arrived.
I might see if any of my friends' or neighbours' kids fancy playing it this weekend :o(
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Soz
I'm away this weekend.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Are you one of his neighbours' kids?

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:39, Reply)
He is, yes.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:45, Reply)
You should join the MK board game club!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Gosh yes!!!!!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:42, Reply)
nog? NOG? That sounds a bit racist!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:00, Reply)
A racist cup
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noggin_(cup)
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Do you know what Boyce?
This thread of yours.

Fucking shit.

Someone please start a new one.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)
It's got the most replies of any thread since that one on Friday,
Started by.....who was it again? Oh, was it me? Yes it was.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Quantity is no guarantee of quality
As your mum knows to her cost.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:48, Reply)
you start a thread then Mr "this thread is shit"
Take matters in to your own hands.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Hopefully it'll say 'fuck off' or something equally challenging and stimulating.
FINGERS CROSSED!
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 10:58, Reply)
He's clearly building up to something BIG here, judging by the length of time it is taking.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I for one have high hopes about this

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:03, Reply)
I'd manage your own expectations if I were you.

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Nope, had to reboot the router before I could post.
Anyway it's done now. It probably will be a shit thread though.
(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:03, Reply)
That's the spirit!

(, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 11:05, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1