fucking autoglass pricks
my windscreen decided to crack itself clean across so i have to piss around for 4 hours tomorrow until autoglass can be arsed to turn up and replace it. after explaining to him that i have a job to do, so telling my boss that i might be 1 hour late or i might be 6 hours late is going to go down like a cup of cold sick, i casually mentioned that the street is pay and display parking.

jesus christ. anyone would think i'd asked the twat to bring a unicorn horn, not a fucking pound coin. could i park somewhere with no restrictions for the work? YES I'LL JUST DRIVE THERE WITH THE SHATTERED WINDSCREEN AND FIND THE ONE MAGICAL ROAD IN LONDON WITH NO PARKING PERMITS, YOU STUPID SPASTICATED CUNT. is what i didn't say.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:22, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Auto glass will come out to you and replace the glass
HTH
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)

yes
this is what is causing the problem, that despite charging all that money, they cannot bring a couple of quid for the parking meter. bellends.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:29, Reply)

It's almost like he didn't read your post before replying to it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)

we know this can't be true
he prints them all out and laminates them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

haha
"London"

haha
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)

i can't take the piss out of manchester seeing that i am from there
unless you live in a shit bit. do you live in a shit bit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I don't live in Manchester now, Heaton Moor innit
before that I was in Salford Quays in a skyscraper full of Dutch lesbians
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:32, Reply)

lots of my mates from school lived in HM and i worked at the liz for years when i was a student
but it's nowhere near as good now they've done it up

why would you leave a block of dutch lesbians? are you some kind of nullo?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)

hooooooooo shit, I used to go in the Liz every night after work and get wankered
back in 1999 when I was still a chronic pisshead
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:36, Reply)

which is exactly when i was working there
how weird

i'm now wondering which of the regulars you were. if your real name is elliott, you're a titspervert and a total cunt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

oh lordy
we used to get in right after work, around 6pm then drink til closing time, if you remember a scouse lad with close-cropped hair then he was my alcoholic drinking buddy at the time

there was one time one of the bar staff joined us for a pissup and kept going over the road to the offy for cheap vodka, if that was you then I would not be at all surprised
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

i worked from 96-99 during university holidays about 4 nights a week
so it's inevitable that i will have served you. but i always had to drive back to wilmslow afterwards so i had to resist the cheap vodka.

as for me - do you remember the stunning 6' size 10 blonde with pneumatic tits and legs up to her chin?

well, someone sounding exactly like your mate once told me to get out of the way because he wanted her to serve him, the fucking cunt...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

that sounds like precisely the thing he would do

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

i shat in his pint

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

he'd still drink it

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

well yeah
stockport innit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I'm not very well.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Me either
*tickly cough and a bit of a headache fives*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:28, Reply)

you two make such a lovely couple

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)

stop imagining them lovely coupling

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)

great
now you've broken my brain as well as my eyes. it's the amplesponge of sex.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Are you coming for a pint tomorrow or what?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

yep!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Yay!
4pm at Dirty Dick's apparently. I'll behave. Probably.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

i'll be there 6.30-7
how long can you stay?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Ah piss
My train's at 6. Bugger.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Aching joints, dizziness, sore throat, sour stomach, unpleasant cough
the only plus point is no snot as yet.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Its Aids
Sorry to be the bearer etc.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)

lucky you've got darth and all his hot spicy meat tomorrow then eh?
best thing for man flu, sweat it out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Yeah, if I don't feel better tomorrow morning
then I won't be spending an hour on public transport, no matter how good the curry is. It's probably your bloody tubes that got me sick in the first place.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)

if you organised it and then you don't show up
you will never be invited again. EVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

ugh

( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)

you feel better when you get out and do stuff
take a lemsip, stuff your gut with spicy meat, profit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Violently vomit on the hour's tube back to Uxbridge
before driving home for another hour in vomit-stained clothing.

:((((((((((((
( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

the perfect end to a perfect night

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

If I do come out, I'd better get a bloody hero's welcome.
I mean cheering, ticker tape, girls hanging off my arms, the lot.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

how about a gobjob from darth?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:48, Reply)

You're not selling this to me.
Soz, Darth.
( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

lies
i bet he combines the firm fist of a man with the tender touch of a woman.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

They do nothing for me, I'm afraid.

( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

oh come on, that was a great post

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I'm going back to bed

( Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

+fallopian

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)

They came to my workplace and fitted mne
what lovely people.
( Peej, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)

i tried that
but that meant a different branch of autoglass with a 3 week waiting list, apparently. fucking useless.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Go with someone else?
Surely there are others
( Peej, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

i left it up to the insurer, that's what they said i had to do
it's that or pay for it myself, which frankly i'd almost do to fuck that guy off, but the windscreen on my car is surprisingly expensive, so fuck that nasty shit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Have you tried offering sexual favours?

( Peej, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

yeah
he said something about an excess...

before battered says it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Well I'm all out of ideas
I'd go and drink a bottle of wine if I were you
( Peej, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)