*salutes*
That's textbook, Winders.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I tell you what badger,
I'm quite proud of it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

That's the third best piece of drink-fuel shenanigans I'm aware of
after my mate sleep-pissing in his girlfriend's handbag, and the "gush jacket incident"

You are right to be proud.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Gush jacket?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

It's (well, was) a cheap red cagoul, supposed to shame the wearer.
tl/dr - On my stag do for my first wedding we were in Prague, about 2000 or so. We were staying in these penthouse apartments with massive sloping velux windows, it was hot and they were usually slightly open. After about 24 hours solid drink abuse we got back from a club with a load of ladies in tow. My friend proceeds to get horizonal with a (frankly fucking stunning) Norwegian girl in his room. My best man takes massive offence at this in a way that can only occur after about a pint of absinth and comes into my room, strips naked, grabs the Gush Jacket and climbs onto the roof. He then shimmies over to the velux in Darren's room, leans on it until it swings open, and right at the end of the travel he somersaults off the end to land at the foot of the bed, legs spread, jacket open, everything on display, with a bellow of "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"

It still makes me cry with laughter thinking about it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Superb.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

hahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Mate of mine who was once in the Navy (calm down, no bumming abounds)
tried to get back on board after an evening drinking the port dry. Duty officer told him he wasn't getting past him carrying those two bottles of wine, but "If I turn around and hear a couple of splashes, then we'll overlook your present condition".

He turns around, my mate grumbles a lot but then two splashes are heard. Duty officer turns back around, my mate stands there still holding two bottles of wine, and wearing no shoes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

office lols
What was his reasoning?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

haha, that's classic

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

haha!
drunk logic is ace
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

that's excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:23, Reply)

you missed an opportunity to lambast battered for using Scwhwepps tonic earlier

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

The fucking cunt! I'll cut him
Unless it's Schweppes off of the Continent, that's OK.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

It was probably Slimline and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

KKAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

i recommended some fever tree

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Fever tree for special occasions or really good gin.
Otherwise Waitrose own brand is fine.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Wasn't me, that was Bartleby.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

was it?
I think i need my eyes testing
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

It wasn't me.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Shaggylolz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

You sex pests all look the same.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)