The DWP
I have applied for a grant for travel expenses so I can attend my dear gran's funeral next week - a road trip of some 4 hours each way and they will not stump up for an overnight stay.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:17, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

pay your own bloody transport

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Get loaksey to drive you
it will turn into a 8 hour journey each way
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Use your loaf

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)

I do sympathise
I had a shit three weeks ago and the council haven't been round to flush the toilet for me
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)

I know how you feel
The company I work for haven't paid for my shopping once...no matter how many times I fill in the expenses form. Selfish cunts.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)

it's a fucking disgrace
I didn't even have enough dole money to buy scratchcards and vodka this week
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)

I feel sorry for the people that can't be bothered to work
I have a dream that one day everyone in the world will be unemployed except me. Then I can pay for everyone's scratchcards and vodka.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)

I don't see why people should have to work if their parents didn't
you can't start destroying people's traditions and culture like that
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Enough!
All of my family have always worked. Even the ones that were immigrants. OK?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:05, Reply)

please, don't take b3ta so seriously

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:06, Reply)

she needs to chillax.com

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:08, Reply)

wait a minute, we're paying dole money to immigrants now?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:12, Reply)

no you numpty
My mothers parents were Ukrainian and worked all their lives since arriving in England.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Hello purpledoris
I have never met you but I'll take Monty's vouching for you as "a good thing". I'm aware that you've been on here for a while and that what has happened to you is bad but to expect that people on here won't take the piss is somewhat of a shortsighted view, m'kay?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:16, Reply)

yeah dude
I know........cheers.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)

I for one welcome our new mauverlord

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:31, Reply)

I am disappointed this didnt get any comments

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:37, Reply)

whats a mauverlord?
Sorry - my head is rather scrambled!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)

like an overlord but mauve i.e. purple

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:54, Reply)

Thanks
A compliment then?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 17:01, Reply)

I'm guessing
"I for one welcome our [something] overlords" is a bit of a meme.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 17:27, Reply)

Lighty you still about?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 17:54, Reply)

I don't like foreigners, soz

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:18, Reply)

What about albinos?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:19, Reply)

they're not foreign, they're aliens

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)

Have you ever been to Albina?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)

A white ago

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Any good?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:21, Reply)

It was all white, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Racist

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:23, Reply)

b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=21103
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:24, Reply)

I suppose your parrot is a Native of the uk then?????

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:19, Reply)

it passed the citizenship test

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)

cor

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)

LTI

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:21, Reply)

he doesn't claim benefits

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Not even cuttlefish on the NHS?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:23, Reply)

There have been cuttlebacks

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:23, Reply)

Ink-redible

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:24, Reply)

whoah hang on. Immigrants? This changes everything.
You're on your own you Windrush wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)

What!!
You knew all this. Grandad was imprisoned by the Germans and allowed to live as he was a trained cobler and used to make the shoes on camp - he was one of twelve who survived....and he thought hitler was right.....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:34, Reply)

Hitler did nothing wrong

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:40, Reply)

What about staying with some family? Surely someone would have some spare room.
Although normally I wouldn't recomend them at all, is there one of those £10 B&B/Hostel type places* that you could combine with a payday loan? I know 8 hours of travel is a bitch, but its better than nowt. How about one of those "Crisis Loans" ? I donno.

I can see why they wouldn't pay for the room, but they're heartless bastards for not doing so.

* Yeah', haven't rented a bed in a VERY long time, shows, aye.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)

She should sleep on top of the grave.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:25, Reply)

She doesn't have a payday :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)

Thank you
but its a very emotional time for all the family and we need to be together. there is nobody living locally to the funeral with any room to spare, believe me that was my first thought. I only wanted £32 for a fucking travelodge FFS.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)