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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck your lunch thread.
What's your favourite conspiracy theory?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:15, 119 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Marlboro funds the KKK and you can see three K's on the packets WHICH PROVES IT.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)
AND PHILIP MORRIS WAS A WIZARD OR SOMETHINGzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:21, Reply)
hang on are you saying he wasn't?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)
That's the real conspiracy
Cigarettes are actually good for you, and Philip Morris was in no way associated with anyone unpleasant or suspicious.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)
i KNEW it!!!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Man did not land on the moon.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Haha I was just about to post this but ironically
because of course they did, you tin-foil-hatter
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Cold war propaganda. The technology did not exist at the time

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)
Oh, don't be so silly.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:21, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6MOnehCOUw
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:38, Reply)
rocket to moon
impossible stuff

is all that stuff voyager sends back made up too?
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:21, Reply)
More the journey back from the moon that wouldn't have been possible.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Why not?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)
OK. So escaping the gravity of Earth, which is many, many times that of the Moon
plus you're carrying much more mass, is perfectly possible. But escaping the gravity of the Moon isn't? Or do you mean the landing through Earth's atmosphere, which relies on maths, not what you're travelling in?
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)
do you disbelieve the space station, rocket re-entry and all that stuff
no, no sorry look at the flag LOOK AT IT THERE IS NO WIND ON THE MOON WHY ARE THERE NO STARS IN THOSE SHOTS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Two shadows! From spotlights!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
LOOK HES JUMP WITH STRINGS !!!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
That Captain Janeway
I never did trust her
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Gonz reckons he'd still fuck her

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Does she have a pulse?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
sort of, the years have not been kind to her

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Then Gonz would fuck her if he could
Actually I don't think the pulse would really make much difference to him
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)
ew

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)
I bet you fancied Neelix.
You Frenchies love hirsute women.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Neelix was a dude.
I might be a manwhore, I ain't no chutney.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I thought it was a bird!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)
This says a lot about your standards.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)
his normal ride is Monty ffs

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:37, Reply)
As long as it's got long hair....

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Neelix's wife was quite hot.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Fucking Nineties. Fucking pixie cuts.
Fucking ear-vaginas.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Kes.
I thought that was a Northern hawk owning teenager.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_landing_conspiracy_theories#Technology
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)
That doesn't say anything apart from, it was difficult and they did it quickly.
Which everyone knows is true anyway.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:33, Reply)
All the 9/11 stuff

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Yea like they will ever make any money opening for just 3 hours

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)
this^

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)
V THIS V
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1934884
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Great headline here
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22163360
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)
My second favourite conspiracy theory
is that the 9/11 attacks were planned by the CIA or were actually missiles, or sutin.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Andrew MISSILES!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)
haha!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)
that Thatcher was bad for the UK

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)
This, by far
www.orgoneblasters.com/
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Whoa!
This lot are on the doolally side of bonkers.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Extra points for charging $$$ for plain old quartz crystals, too.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)

www.davidicke.com has the best theories.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Princess Diana being bumped off by Prince Phillip
which, incidentally, my mother steadfastly believes.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
That's a much more logical belief than a drunk guy driving too fast

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
INORITE?
Apparently she was "an embarrassment to them" and they "wanted her out of the way". She was about to announce that she was pregnant with a FORRIN BABY and the royal family would LITERALLY COLLAPSE if this came out.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Does she read The Express?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Oh no
Because that's how they get you.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)
I swear down.
S'esly.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:30, Reply)
That AB is an undercover agent for the NHS here to make Chompy do more work.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)
WINNAH

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Yes!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Notice how I posted this thread around lunchtime, when he's thinking of winding it down a bit...

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:41, Reply)
I noticed you describing off topic as a text-based forum:
b3ta.com/talk/7603984
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:46, Reply)
You're right, we should merge this place with /board.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Oh, I like conspiracy theories.
they are all utter tosh, but quite entertaining none the less. My current favourite (OK, not actually a conspiracy theory, but using very similar 'logic') is Bigfoot, the minutiae are facinating.

As for an actual conspiracy... The Paul McCartney is dead one has good vintage flavour, while Chemtrails has to be high on the all time wacko list.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Look. Occam's Razor, innit.
It would be far more difficult to pretend to land on the Moon than it is to actually land there.

It's far more likely that suicidal hijackers would steal planes and crash them than it is that the CIA would fire missiles at their own defence headquarters.

Everybody just needs to chill out and stop jumping at shadows. Yes, there are conspiracies. Real conspiracies are about trying to cover up that a politician's a sexual deviant, or that a bunch of personal information was put on a CD and lost on a train because the civil service are fuckwits.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Yup
"Never ascribe to conspiracy that which can be explained by simple incompetence"
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)
poor chompy

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)
TRIFLE is a secret mind drug
used by the governments all over the western world to make you believe the lies they propagate
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Again we agree.
So this is FACT.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:39, Reply)
This is interesting if not a classic conspiracy
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloop
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)
It was an ice berg

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)
says who?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:41, Reply)
the wikipedia page you linked for one
and pretty much all respected science for another.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Timecube

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:32, Reply)
Spacecircle.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)

cube Cop

it's a classic alright
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)

Time Game

It's a console, innit
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)
From that nutter's website
For as long as you dumbass,
educated stupid and evil
bastards IGNORE Cubic
Creation, your sons and
daughters deserve to die
and be maimed in foreign
lands - while killing innocent
women and children. Keep
ignoring me you evil asses
and observe the slaughter of
your children protecting the
oil barons ripping off their
families back home. The
enemy is back home, not
in foreign lands. Ignore me
& keep counting the dead sons.
Creation occurs via opposites.
Singularity is the death math
of religious/academic Godism.
Earth Opposites should split
apart - and cascade molten
lava upon God Worshippers,
for they are the evil on Earth.
If god is your father, your mother is a whore.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)
And then poor frank had to go away for a while

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:36, Reply)
Seems fair enough to me.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:37, Reply)
It's funny because it's true!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:38, Reply)

If god is your father, your mother is a whore.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Typical Catholic guilt tripping.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Jesus was a negro

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:33, Reply)
sand coon

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)
dune coon
pronounced "doon coon"

hth
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)
No, Jesus was batman

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:56, Reply)
ALIENS POKED MY BUMHOLE

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Illegal ones?
bloody forrins coming over here buggering our frenchmen
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Dewey Decimal System

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Least popular of Scrooge McDuck's nephews.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:37, Reply)
No, that was Huey Lewis and the News

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Shut up, Dozer.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:46, Reply)
I DID NOT COME OUT IN 1983

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:56, Reply)
Narnia Boy

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:59, Reply)
Typical dew

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:38, Reply)
*claps*

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)
WAH!
I just had one of my delicious minced meat chelsea buns, followed by an orange flavoured Penguin chaser....BAD FLAVOUR COMBO! WOULD NOT EAT AGAIN.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:37, Reply)
Are you at a child's party or something TH?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)
I'm always at some sort of party, Montz
Leftover snacks from our recent road trip.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:41, Reply)
My life is one big party too.
Oh no, hang on. The other one.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Party of one
:(
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:44, Reply)

arty t
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Tru dat, I swear down blud.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:48, Reply)
I can FEEL the grooming.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:41, Reply)
+ like it.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)
The nonce is strong with this one
Give in to your anger, Hats.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)
If it was a regular Penguin, I'd take your point
Kids hate orange penguins....trust me.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)
They don't like it up 'em.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)
EMV's gf does.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:44, Reply)
If it's Megatron
because Optimus Prime etc etc
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:44, Reply)
GRIMLOCK NEED ADULT

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Just don't use that Stegosaurus one.
Because, ouch, snagging.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:46, Reply)
For some that would be simulation, though.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:48, Reply)
why not do it for real?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:51, Reply)
Bloody autocorrect
stimulation
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:53, Reply)
yeah auto correct, because that exists

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:57, Reply)
It does on my phone, you numpty

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Ha ha
Because dinosaurs are extinct
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Pretend I linked to that photo of the woman with a dinosaur toy up her bum
Actually, no...pretend I posted the actual picture. That'd be better.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:59, Reply)
I'd rather pretend that I'd never looked at that website in the first place.
If that's all the same to you.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 13:17, Reply)

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