They're alright after about eighteen years
And you can sort of hold a conversation with them
But before that it's all shitting, puking, being shit, being stupid. Waste of everyone's time
( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:26, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

nah, mine is loads of fun

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

yeah, but you're an easily amused trend following moron.
You've only got a kid because your wife told you how great it would be, and as you can't think for yourself, your brain tells you you're loving it, but deep down, somewhere in that mushy brain pan of yours, is a spark of doubt. My advice is steer clear of acid and steroids.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

it's 3 years of screaming, puking and shitty arses
8 years of making sure they don't get nicked or groped or run over

7 years of spots and angst and sweat and furtive wanking and refusing to talk to you because they hate you and it's all your fault and they didn't ask to be born

3 years of paying through the nose when they fuck off to uni
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

And then the cunts have kids of their own and will expect you to look after them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I'm glad someone here has some sense.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)

But people say they'll look after you when you get old
I dunno about you but I'm topping meself when I start getting infirm, fuck that noise.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

I ain't being a burden to anyone, never again

( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

how many people's kids fuck off to australia or somewhere
there is no way that spewing out a piece of crotchfruit means that it will even like you when it gets older, never mind be grateful enough to return the piss/shit-wiping favour
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)

loads of people I went to school with are having kids,
They keep insisting I come and visit, and I know it's just a ruse, they'll run away and leave me with the pukey little wanker.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

Just tell them the terms of your licence don't permit you within 50 metres of any children

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)