i had to move to the spare room after the rank couple next door started going at it, at 1am
she clearly fakes it, and he squeals like a pig. rank.

alt: rudeness/pikeyness

altalt: snow patrol. i bloody love lightbody.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have never had noisy sex neighbours
true story
( Kroney, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:02, Reply)

that's because although they can't see you, they know that you're next door, lurkin
and it puts them off
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:05, Reply)

lurkin

wanking
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:06, Reply)

en francias
uh hee, uh hee, ooooor
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:07, Reply)

When I lived in your homeland my neighbour used to squeal 'oui' over and over into the night
Either that or some fat bloke watched a lot of porn
( Theoban What of it, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:08, Reply)

i once had to write to a tenant to tell him to turn his dirty videos down
as the other residents in the block were sick of it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Was this before or after you watched porn on your laptop with the sound up and your flatmate heard?
Because, you know, hypocrisy.
( Kroney, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:13, Reply)

2 mins of yawning and wondering what all the fuss was about does not really count as "watching porn"
porn is for blokes. girls just go, eeeeeurgh, you can see her stubble rash and, yep she's faking it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:15, Reply)

Yeah women just go nuts with the Argos catalogue
Page 376, check the blades on that blender, phwoar
( Theoban What of it, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Argos Greggs.

blades on that blender pies sold by that bender
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:19, Reply)

this is actually pretty good
for a rancid little cunt
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:24, Reply)

We had a simular experience with some young student girl that moved next door to me
She must have been inexperienced because the amount of noise she used to make, in the end I set up Canned applause on a loop and played it when ever she got noisey.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:08, Reply)

I'd bang on the wall on the off-beat, I think.
Or yell "Go on, son, have at her"
( Kroney, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:12, Reply)

That's what I'd be tempted to do
'stick it up her arse'
'bit her tits'
'cum in her eye'

etc.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:13, Reply)

She was a mental bint often see crying and chasing down the street after her one night stands

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:15, Reply)

An alternative would have been to score her & the chap she was with out of ten & leave a note under her door telling her score.
6/10 - next time lick his balls.

etc.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:17, Reply)

heheehee
I wish I had thought of that, but it sounds a bit Gonzy
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:20, Reply)

My son was about 7 years old at the time, how the fuck do you try to explain the noise?
The applause on a loop soon shut her the fuck up
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:14, Reply)

It's a good tactic, that

( Kroney, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Worked like a fucking treat + plus my son couldn't hear her at it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:20, Reply)

For £11K a year service charges they should be allowed to shag on the fucking stairs

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 3 May 2013, 15:16, Reply)

and expect the janitor to lick up any residual "secretions"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:19, Reply)

janitor porter, apparently.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 3 May 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Unstrikes Jan
+et street
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Wanna fuck?

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:29, Reply)

It's like we are twins or summat twocoof

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:38, Reply)

or street
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:28, Reply)

You must have shit walls up there

( Peej, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:18, Reply)