Good evening shitcunts.
Which B3tan that you've not met would you most like to meet?

Alt: should I have king prawns in squid ink to start or new season asparagus topped with a poached egg?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:40, 136 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've just uncovered a winning strategy for your divorce case.
Blame the gays.
liberalconspiracy.org/2013/05/13/nadine-dorries-gay-marriage-bill-takes-sex-out-of-marriage/
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:42, Reply)

Not sure how that helps tbh. But thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:45, Reply)

The fact that these idiots try and find an anti gay marriage argument in the "small print" of what it means to be married
Simply proves that they have no sensible arguments against it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:45, Reply)

to be fair, marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman,
that much has always been fairly straightforward which people seem to willfully ignore
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:08, Reply)

Who means it to be between a man and a woman?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:53, Reply)

thats the definition

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 May 2013, 1:12, Reply)

Asperges definately
I wanna meet you bad.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:43, Reply)

I'd like to meet Sporters.
I've met most of the ones I want to meet (and several I wish I hadn't)
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:46, Reply)

: (
We could have chatted about market research methodologies
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:46, Reply)

Which Sporters, I'm pretty certain, wouldn't bore me with.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:47, Reply)

Agree.
Sporters seems like a nice chap.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:02, Reply)

both
and skip the main...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:47, Reply)

Alright? Ta for your gaz the other day.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:48, Reply)

Sweeeet, are you friends now?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:48, Reply)

Yes thanks mate
just blundering through the plethora of rejections that come my way....had a great interview but was pipped to the post by someone with more experience in organising large scale exhibitions.....I think aldi beckons - it's only round the corner...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:51, Reply)

Live a lot for less!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:52, Reply)

Well
I am definiteley into quality food and have found some goodies in there - Sundays was a ready stuffed chicken for 4 quid which was delicious and a pound cheaper than the free range. Even my Waitrose addicted fella had to admit it was great!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:56, Reply)

So a battery farmed chicken that probably was raised in overcrowded conditions in Vietnam?
No thanks.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:58, Reply)

Beggars
Cannot be choosers....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:01, Reply)

But they could eat meat less frequently and eat better quality when they do.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:10, Reply)

I agree but
I wanted chicken.the cheapest I could get.I am pretty sure that they are at least red tractor standard
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:14, Reply)

From Aldi? Not a fucking chance. KFC rejects more like.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:15, Reply)

oh shit
I had better check the label more carefully next time.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:16, Reply)

Look for phrases such as 'previously frozen' ' from a variety of sources', ' will cause cancer' etc on the packaging. HTH.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:21, Reply)

anyway
Feel free to carry on without me - he is cooking tonight - free range sausages...not that I have ever seen sausages running round a field...........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:22, Reply)

sausages

Pinot noir.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:25, Reply)

Seems unlikely you'd be able to afford it anyway
And really why should we tax payers subsidise a second starter for you?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:48, Reply)

God I bet you've got a "flat screen" tv as well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:51, Reply)

And a DFS sofa on credit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:52, Reply)

Makes me sick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:53, Reply)

nope
paid for it over 10 years ago and it lives on - am on second set of covers mind. And I will never ever get loose fill cushions again.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:00, Reply)

Tax payers would not be subsidising it
you moron.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:02, Reply)

Have the prawns and squid.
You have more chance of getting food poisoning from that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:01, Reply)

clickin dis

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:07, Reply)

Thanks. FRIEND.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:09, Reply)

Sorry mate.
Have both.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:15, Reply)

Recovered yet? You were in the worst state I have ever seen you when we met on Sat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:13, Reply)

I slept all the way home.
Which was much needed.

Can you mail me the details of that thing in June again please.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:17, Reply)

Yeah will do. It's the 9th btw, so put that on your diary now before I remember to send the details again.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:19, Reply)

Thanks.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:20, Reply)

*proud*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:25, Reply)

He sipped at one and a quarter small bottles of Peroni in the same time I did 4 pints of cider.
The fucking Susan.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:27, Reply)

are you saying jeff can't drink?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:28, Reply)

No. He and I still hold the B3ta Bristol record: 12 pints, 12 pubs, by 12 midnight.
Many have tried to match this. All have failed.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:29, Reply)

when did you start?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:32, Reply)

About 6.30pm.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:36, Reply)

2-ish pints an hour for six hours...easy, you pussy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:37, Reply)

bet you were on carling or something else similarly weak

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:38, Reply)

Cider, including a trip to the cider boat, which is MEAN.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:41, Reply)

Interesting record!
When does the challenge start? Is it over 12 hours or less?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:32, Reply)

See above. We then moved on to whiskey* once DG and Toureettes joined us.
All I can recall is vomiting in to my mouth, swallowing the puke again and carrying on drinking hoping nobody noticed. Unfortunately DG spotted this.

* no whiskey chat.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:38, Reply)

even though you don't drink spirits

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:39, Reply)

Tbh, that was probably one of only two times in the last five years. Boyce is responsible for the only other time. Unsurprisingly.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:42, Reply)

what a beastly quare

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:28, Reply)

Terrible. What would the family think? They didnt raise him as one of those you know.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:31, Reply)

i heard they raised him a street urchin confounding his marks with terrible puns then picking their purses

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:33, Reply)

disgraceful

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:34, Reply)

haha yeh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:07, Reply)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:13, Reply)

TEAM GONZ

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:32, Reply)

Two Hats
This is my answer to both
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:24, Reply)

alright geez
batterd is being beastly to purpledoris again
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:25, Reply)

the bounder

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:26, Reply)

a cad and a bounder.
And an utter, abject prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:28, Reply)

not with those legs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:29, Reply)

he has five inch lifts in his shoes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:29, Reply)

Says someone shorter than me and even uglier than Gonz.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:30, Reply)

ooohhhhh harsh dude

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:32, Reply)

um, TUIB said I'm taller.
And I haven't been ugly since I was a kid, soz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:37, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:43, Reply)

stop clowning around

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:33, Reply)

A late but worthy nomination for POTD.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:26, Reply)