you deserve each other
and a butterless anal shafting from needle-dick the bug-fucker, aka AB
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:46, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You deserve nothing but contempt.
And a sexless marriage to a gay trilby-wearing curry muncher.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:47, Reply)

You do realise that this is a bit like pulling your pigtails in school
One day they may actually pluck up the courage to ask you out*



I would love to be the fly on that wall when it happens
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:51, Reply)

battered has already tried it on in the back of a taxi and even chucking tenners at me didn't work
dozer has been gazzing pictures of his cock and gaping distended hamster swollen bum-oley for years. this didn't work either.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:53, Reply)

Be a dear and start a proper thread
I'll put the kettle on
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:54, Reply)

Mine's a cup-a-soup, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:55, Reply)

cup-a-soup Ironbru
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:56, Reply)

a Irn Bru?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:59, Reply)

i'm not here really
this is my third evening at work beyond midnight this week, by the look of it :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:56, Reply)

haha!
Alone again :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:56, Reply)

You know if you got the mixture between nasty and nice right people may actually warm to you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:00, Reply)

Most people on here are smart enough to realise when I'm just pissing about.
Not you though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:01, Reply)

You know when you live near traffic, have a loud clock or an alarm is going off for a while and you kinda turn off?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:05, Reply)

Well that’s called the Dozer effect

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:05, Reply)

This is about as close to 'witty' as you have ever got.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:06, Reply)

Whitby is about as close as you have got to.....
getting into Swipes knickers
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:08, Reply)

Swipe's knickers are so big they actually stretch as far as Whitby.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:09, Reply)

*shakes head*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:11, Reply)

it's called "a career"
maybe you'll get one, one day
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:07, Reply)

Maybe one day you'll get a man that won't be a closet bummer desperately looking for a beard.
Maybe not.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:09, Reply)

A wise man once said
"You know if you got the mixture between nasty and nice right people may actually warm to you?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:10, Reply)

No, an internet weirdo said that.
Plus you're hardly one to talk about other posters being nasty pricks, are you?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:11, Reply)

The see-saw that is b3ta tilts and changes
But I tend to know where the fulcrum is. Do you?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:15, Reply)

Of course I fucking do, I just ignore it.
You seem to have trouble knowing where the line is, even Nakers said that and he's mentally disabled.

Are you white knighting Swipe here? She's chunky enough to be able to fight her own battles. Like I said, everybody else seems to realise when I'm just cocking around, it's just you that has trouble with that.

Extra lols at me being lectured about online tastelessness by the man who...well, I think we both know which old ground I'm referring to here.

Get to fuck you utter prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:18, Reply)

You seem a bit angry and upset
are you OK? I hope nothing is wrong with Grace? Did you fail that exam? I'm here to help if you need it.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:23, Reply)

Not angry and upset at all, typed text is funny like that.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:24, Reply)

Are you sure?
I hope it's not me that has upset you or made you angry, I mean if we couldn't be friends I don't know how I would be able to live with that.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:27, Reply)

I think you'd get by OK, time is a great healer xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:28, Reply)

Fanks PD
Your shoulder to cry on means the world to me
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:34, Reply)

I knew it would xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:36, Reply)

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:41, Reply)

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:44, Reply)

I see that promotion is paying off then?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:57, Reply)

You know, if you didn't piss around on here through the day so much
you might actually get finished work by, oh, 6pm?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:26, Reply)

This advice can be extended to many of these posters.
Alright Davvoid?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:27, Reply)

Alright Doze?
Been to see a recruitment agency today and formally register on their books. It took fucking ages.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:32, Reply)

I don't like agencies
In the past I've been sent to interviews for jobs I'm totally unsuitable for.

Commission-led nobbers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:33, Reply)

With five weeks left on my contract I'm open to anything.
These seem pretty on the ball as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:36, Reply)

Reed are pretty good.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:38, Reply)

This was Core People, but I need to register with Reed as well
as they fill vacancies with my last but one employer and it'd be nice to get a foot in the door again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:39, Reply)

May I ask what type of work you are looking for?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:41, Reply)

I've worked in grants and economic development since 2001.
Something in that line would be excellent, but at the moment I'm not too fussy. Can't afford to be.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:42, Reply)

With that type of skill set try
https://jobsstatic.civilservice.gov.uk/csjobs.html
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:47, Reply)

Yeah, I check there every few days.
Not a lot going locally.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:48, Reply)

Well at least I was on the right tracks
Best of luck I'm going to bed
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:50, Reply)

I'm sure you can copy and paste that into your browser

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:49, Reply)

Hey Davro I saw a pic of you today
For some reason I thought you was older
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:27, Reply)

How old do you think I am, like?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:31, Reply)

46

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:32, Reply)

Close. 42.
Although as recently as a couple of years ago someone thought I was in my late 20's. Which was nice.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:33, Reply)

Mortgage-free at 42!
Lucky you :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:34, Reply)

Circumstance dear boy.
In all other respects I'm utterly Monty'd.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:35, Reply)

:'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:37, Reply)

Judging by the Pics*
about 30-34

Cecilcrack and BGB was in them, that was you with the Goatee?


*not sure how old the pics were
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:33, Reply)

Yep, I have a goatee.
Also see above :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:34, Reply)

*1971fives*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:35, Reply)

1970 actually, but at the arse end of the year.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 21:36, Reply)

Good to see us oldies are keeping it looking good

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:38, Reply)

And if you pulled your socks up and made efficient use of the working day, you might even be able to finish at the time it says on your contract.
Crazy stuff, I know.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:05, Reply)

ha, my contract simply says "such times and such hours as the firm thinks fit"
i started at 8am today, and apart from a few mins posting on here, haven't stopped once. you've got to take some sort of a break.

i'm not complaining like, it's interesting work, they pay me bloody well, and i like my colleagues. but it has been a sucky week.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:13, Reply)

Christ, they make you give blow jobs on work time as well?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:14, Reply)

Oh DG, this is exactly the kind of nasty bullying that HH was referring to up there
He'll start bitching on you, you mark my words.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:16, Reply)

I'm a terrible troll, Dozer.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:20, Reply)

Everybody hates you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:21, Reply)

I know.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:34, Reply)

No, see, the joke is that you don't realise that everybody actually hates you.
This is why it is so funny and you're so pathetic.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:36, Reply)

Your words cut me, Dozer, they really do.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:39, Reply)

You're just a prick that nobody likes, soz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:40, Reply)

Oh man, I'd better DMAAKM.
Thanks for the heads up mate.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:43, Reply)

I'm not your m8, m8.
Everybody, EVERYBODY hates you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:45, Reply)

Go away you big hamster inserting smelly poo.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:46, Reply)

RIGHT THAT'S IT I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND I'M LEAVING FOREVER!
YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED, DON'T TRY AND STOP ME!!!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:48, Reply)

\o/

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:48, Reply)

Did you have to spend years and years working for free before they started paying you?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:22, Reply)

No, solicitors get well paid as trainees.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:26, Reply)

Except that frisbee kid of course.
LOLOLOL!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:28, Reply)

They pay him in gin.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:29, Reply)

nah, i got about £30k
to work 120 hour weeks. it nearly killed me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:33, Reply)

It wouldn't have done much for the quality of your work either.
Sounds a bit counter-productive to me.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:38, Reply)

agreed
i was a shadow by the end of it. but it's a rite of passage, and trainees working those hours are generally drafting for someone else to check/approve, ie very little actually goes out.

unless it's 5am, you're utterly fucked, and you inadvertently send a confidential document to someone who isn't your supervising colleague by mistake of course...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:39, Reply)

Fucking hell that must have been a barrel of laughs.
There's only 168 hours in a week, which leaves around 6.85 hours per day of free time, including sleep.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:38, Reply)

i exaggerate
that wasn't every week. but there were some weeks where i hardly went home, and 1 awful week where i worked 48 hours straight, urgh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:40, Reply)

Urgh indeed.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:44, Reply)

Even if you work 12-hour shifts, the vast majority of places will give you several consecutive days off in any working "week".
Unless you're a security guard, that is.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:49, Reply)

Most professions don't have shifts though Wooderz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:54, Reply)

Round these parts, more of them do than don't.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)

That's Bradford though innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)

And Kirklees. And Calderdale. And Wakefield.
And... you get the idea.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:01, Reply)

It'll never catch on, Woody.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 May 2013, 22:13, Reply)