I got some SOLID GOLD hilarious gossip from my mother last night. Solid gold - and with a 'celebrity' angle too.
Alt: it's been pointed out to me that the money I get from selling up would enable me to walk out of my job and start again doing something completely different. This is probably the best chance I'll get to have another crack at something I might possibly even enjoy. I wondered what people's take on this idea might be - idiocy in this current climate, or courageous?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:24, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Depends how motivated by money you are.
I can see you as a history teacher; doesn't pay a great deal though.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:31, Reply)

My father warned me off teaching a long time ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:43, Reply)

It's getting worse and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:45, Reply)

even teaching at schools like Cheltenham and Winchester was shit, according to my old man

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:46, Reply)

I thought you had already spread your wings into the modelling community
www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/news/municipal-art-jesus-christ-that-mural-is-enormous-8656169.html
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:31, Reply)

It's uncanny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:39, Reply)

I noes

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:41, Reply)

Nope....go for it
If you don't try, you'll never know.

Gossip you say?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:32, Reply)

^^this
Opportunities like that are like rocking horse shit, don't pass it up.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Life might genuinely begin at 40.
It's a thought.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Tell that to John Lennon.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:40, Reply)

I don't talk to scousers, soz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:40, Reply)

You betcha.
One of my mother's best friends' 'partner' is the father of modern-day pop 'sensation' Frank Tuner. He's a bit of a knob but quite funny.

Except that now they've split up, because in his early 60s, he has decided that he's a fucking TRANNY. He's gone right in for it, and has published articles in tranny mags of which he is hugely proud.

He has been estranged from his pop star son for several years - but even so, publishing such material accompanied by your FULL REAL NAME might be considered a little thoughtless in terms of your lad, especially when accompanied by fuill glorious photos of you in your 'gear'.

The punchline came from my mum: 'it was really over after the rent boy thing, but this stuff was just too far'.

'Roger has his good points' she said, to which I replied 'yeah, two of them - in his bra'. 'I'm going now dear, goodbye'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:38, Reply)

Nice
Wonder what his son thinks?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:41, Reply)

He hates his guts already, I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:42, Reply)

Yep, and rightly so to be fair to him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Whoah hang on - you some kind of tranny-hater are ya?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:11, Reply)

It's why I hate aa so much

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Yeah me too

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Frank Turner amuses me, he's an ex-Etonian communist.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:44, Reply)

His old man is v funny when he's pissed, he goes bright red and gets quite offensive

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Then goes to sleep.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:47, Reply)

presumably this is why you do ye drugges
to avoid the going to sleep part.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I know all I this and additional scandalous material
Not so surprised they are estranged now are you!?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Yeah the fucking bent cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

OMG!!! DO TELL!!!
Alt: You have nothing to lose in giving it a shot, you are more likely to regret not doing it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Wait, this isn't about setting up a Fourth Reich is it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:38, Reply)

I'm on a research visit next week.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:38, Reply)

Well you are after more Liebensraum.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:43, Reply)

I've only been on one short visit to Berlin, but I fucking loved it there.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:46, Reply)

I am looking forward to it immensely

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:47, Reply)

I went to that there Germany a couple of years ago
It was one of those eye openers, as I had never thought of it as a place to go for a holiday but what a fucking brilliant country. Even more surprising (due to the nature of how the Germs are portrayed on TV I suspect) was how nice the locals are.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Sausages and beer, and some of the best museums in the world?
I am expecting to love it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:55, Reply)

All of these things are available on most street corners there.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:56, Reply)

'Two beers, a bockwurst and a museum of Egyptian antiquities please fraulein'
'Sure. 6 Euros please'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:58, Reply)

The only down side is that the missus
is one of those veggie freaks so ended up eating Spätzle for pretty much every meal. Serves her right for making poor life choices
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:59, Reply)

I stayed in Friedrichshain and was extremely well catered for as a vegetarian.
I had been expecting there would be nothing for me in the land of sausages, but there was even a vegetarian burger place opposite where I was staying.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:02, Reply)

we were near Strasbourg (sp)
and there wasn't a great deal available.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:06, Reply)

What method were you using?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:09, Reply)

rhythm

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:16, Reply)

^^ FILM! ^^

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:25, Reply)

SP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Me too, long weekend in Munich
Drank a LOT of beer and saw the sites as my old man lives over there now. He loves it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Latest German Rapper
Fourth Reich MC
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:40, Reply)

With Sieg Sieg Sputnik

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:51, Reply)

oh nice

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:52, Reply)

Singing "Heil Heil Silver Lining"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Oh you've ruined it now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I assume the gossip
was to do with YM finger banging Germaine Greer
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Which mum?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:51, Reply)

both of them
Its the Fish Finger sandwich
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I've gone off you, all of a sudden.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:56, Reply)

is it the smell?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:57, Reply)

I want a fish finger sandwich now

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:56, Reply)

No guts no glory Mon
He who laughs loud laughs longest. Oranges are not the only fruit. Be a white man. People are strange when you're a stranger. Who's she? The dogs dinner?

I like your celebrity gossip Mon, you're like the 3am girls so you are.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:50, Reply)

That I am, so I am. That it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:54, Reply)

he who laughs last
does not understand the joke
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:54, Reply)

Hahahahaha yeah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I'm looking to do something a little different right now, there are financial issues though
Aside from that I think it's a great idea. Start listing your transferable skills and see where else you can apply them.

Maybe don't bother applying to amazon though eh?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I'm thinking of opening a tranny bar with Turner Snr.
Trannies gotta tran - recesssion proof innit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Your friends at Transformations will be able to advise you, plus as we all know you have experience yourself:

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:13, Reply)

I *wish* I could still get into that dress, dearie.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:15, Reply)

You've got quite nice tits though.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:17, Reply)

I still say thats Eric Idle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Is that really a picture of you there Mon? The head I mean.
I thought this kind of thing was bad form. Bat, did you ask Mon if you could post a picture of him beforehand or has Mon given his permission in the past? Did you take the picture of him or did you do some internet stalking?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Give it an Irish theme
Shemanigans.

I will never get tired of this
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:20, Reply)

He'd probably apply 100 times

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:09, Reply)

You could become a shepherd

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Shepherds gotta shep - just ask John Noakes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:15, Reply)

gets down

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Mouth dry Shep

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:17, Reply)

I was watching Rick Steins “Mediterranean travels” or some such last night
It seems in Corsica the shepherd is revered in the local community
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Yes, but in Corsica they still point at planes in the sky.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Something something Hervé Villechaise

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:33, Reply)

"You can't mock you made a career out of pointing at a plane and alerting Ricardo Montalban"
FTFY
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Well then that's the place for me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:19, Reply)

See? And you all thought I was just some idiot
Shepherdry is the future. Well, it's the past, strictly speaking...but you get the idea.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I never doubted you Twoey
*washes socks at night*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I've just seen an adult on one of those micro scooters
Oh dear
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:21, Reply)

A guy I used to work with rode one of those to work
No self-awareness whatsoever.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:26, Reply)

I think you need to stop whining and get the fuck on with it.
It is a collossally bad idea for you to have money and be keeping student hours.

Whose Dad crossdresses for what reason?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:27, Reply)

He could move in to the insurance industry. That seems like a right doss.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:29, Reply)

He's too liberal.
Wishy washy. Happy clappy. Wavey gravey.

And he'd have to wear a shirt to work.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Ah. That won't work then.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:31, Reply)

You should become a baker and make cronuts for hipsters.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:28, Reply)

You could be the cabin boy on a winkle barge
It's quite a life, apparently.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:31, Reply)

I believe there's a good ship for this kind of thing, think it may have been called the "Venus"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I do suspect that - to inject a sensible note - the decision depends on what the new career would be
and how much chance there is of a) getting a job in it and b) keeping it and c) it providing you enough to live on.

You're a bit old for rent boy, frankly.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I once worked with a girl who came in one morning and did exactly that, though she didn't have a place to sell.
I was very impressed. I don't know how she got on, though - she might be a crack whore now for all I know.

True story.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 10:16, Reply)