Spotty flaps anyone?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1796920-Pink-mole-spot-on-labia

or maybe an itchy vadge?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1794838-Itchy-ladybits-and-DHs-balls-what-can-it-be
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:57, 60 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I don't think I'm going to click on any of them links

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:59, Reply)

Agreeing with HH.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:00, Reply)

agreeing with WeePee

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:03, Reply)

I'm with team Baked on this

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Yup, might be a virus, soz.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Looks more like a yeast infection to me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:26, Reply)

If i had a vadge it would be itchy today.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:03, Reply)

You what?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Hot and sweaty in the office today.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:05, Reply)

have you not been washing your hands after handling the homebrew?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Hells bells

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:07, Reply)

*shoots to thrill*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Jesus...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:09, Reply)

are you praying for help with your interview?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:10, Reply)

It's done and dusted.
I've come to the conclusion that I don't really like telephone interviews.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:11, Reply)

hard to judge your "opponent"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Exactly.
No body language or facial expressions to react to. This isn't really the job I want anyway, so if I don't get through to the next stage I'll not be unduly upset about it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:13, Reply)

They're pretty shit, but it's a quick way to weed out scots/geordies.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)

even if they can hide their accents you can here them feeding m oney to the phonebox in the backround

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Good job I have a fairly neutral accent, then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:20, Reply)

I've gone and sliced my elbow open on a cubicle divider :(

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:12, Reply)

were you peering over the top to watch the guy in the next door cubicle having a dump?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:14, Reply)

caught it on the upstroke.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:15, Reply)

Serves you right for working somewhere with cubicles
sounds fucking shit.
( Peej, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)

it really is

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:18, Reply)

I was all wobbly after getting the stink-eye off one of my exes and bounced into it.
Not my fault. I was fouled.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:18, Reply)

I might take my shoes and socks off.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Nelly's new track just didn't have the impact anymZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:23, Reply)

I always get i.e. and e.g. mixed up, it's my personal shame.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:26, Reply)

Speak English instead.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:27, Reply)

I dunno the difference

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)

They didn't teach Latin at that expensive school of yours?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:24, Reply)

Yeah, I got thrown out of my class though :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:25, Reply)

Inpudicus spasticus

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Pretty much; I truly hated it and the teacher. Never did even a modicum of work and would have failed the gcse so gave it up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

There's a film version of Alan Partridge coming out.
www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jul/08/alan-partridge-alpha-papa-norwich-premiere
I hope it's not shit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:40, Reply)

I've just popped in for a pre-prandial one.
Some cunt has put on the countryside sport song on the juke box, the pro fox hunting thing. I've made a loud comment about it, so far, no one has risen to the bait or admitted to it. What's last annoyed you in the boozer?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:51, Reply)

Yeah soz that was me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:13, Reply)

My throat is sore
I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:52, Reply)

I use having a sore throat as an excuse to buy a four pack of Murphy's stout.
I find it coats and sooths very nicely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:53, Reply)

Hmm....not a bad idea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:55, Reply)

I discovered this one miserable New Year's Eve
when I had laryngitis and was stuck in the house feeling sorry for myself, with only a 4-pack of said stuff for company.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:57, Reply)

Is that still made?
Not seen it for ages. I always liked the one in little bottles, Mackesons?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:58, Reply)

Are the Polish Prossies quite as exciting now that Mrs Battered has seen the light?

Leave the cans in the fridge and have a day off today mate, it'll do you good.
(Bum Bag Fashion Boy Burned a home made pizza on, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:52, Reply)

lol
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-23226461
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Stupid fucking dogs
Classic example of short man/small dog complex
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:17, Reply)

And why take a dog you can't control out and about, they'd run you into traffic.
stupid fucking owners is my thinking.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:19, Reply)

I think there's something not right about all dog owners.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:20, Reply)

That windy pig for one is well shifty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)

Yeah but 'it's nt his fault, he's only a baby'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:22, Reply)

I could actually hear the stupid fucking voice of the woman saying that when I read it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)

Some people are incapable of responsibility on any level

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:24, Reply)

What shall I do with the chicken drumsticks I have in the fridge?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

Stuff them down your cock end and shit out a Bernard Matthews

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

I knew I could reply on you tuip

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Not any more, I'm out of here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

I'm almost home thanks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

cook them

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

Good plan!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

Tandoori or BBQ, do you need to eat them tonight?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)