This happens to me all the fucking time
Wake up needing a piss and spray the roof
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:54, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Should 'Rock Master Scott & the Dynamic Three' be in the house this would be most beneficial

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:55, Reply)

*lets motherfucker burn*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

I've got a TWELVE INCH of that, lol
Even more nerdily than that, I can tell you that the Chemical Bros don't, cos when they sampled the intro for Hey Boy Hey Girl they got it from the Buddha Baboons EP on AV8 which was itself sampled from the proper tune. You can tell cos of the keyboard noise in the background I THINK I MIGHT KILL MYSELF
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I am really very sorry everyone.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Hold the bells

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Yep. Hate it when that happens. End up straddling in some weird position whilst half asleep trying to avoid pissing like Stunned in a hotel room

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Surely you could just dispense with your toilet stool in this scenario and loop it over the top

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

How tall are you?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

6ft

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Git. I'm 5'9".

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Have you gained an inch in height here?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Awww, out little man's growing up!

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

no
he's lying down and measuring up to the top of his gut
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Nope. Just got properly measured when I had a health check up for my private medical insurance.
Gonz had the reverse recently. He posted that he had though he was 5'10", turns out he's 5'5". Ha ha.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Gonz never thought he was five ten.
Can't have done.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:09, Reply)

He did.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I gained at least two inches when I had my Bupa check up
I can see why people go private.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:26, Reply)

me too
Fit nurses innit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:30, Reply)

PHWOAR

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:30, Reply)

It seems like a serious design flaw
that it's even possible. I find doing a reverse cowgirl on the loo and bending forwards solves the problem nicely.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)

That's exactly how I straddle.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

my eyes
my fucking fucking eyes

why can't you UNREAD STUFF?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I still piss on my own face sometimes, but the risk is significantly reduced...
ladies
( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:05, Reply)

once, many years ago
I was in the bath, with an erection, busting for a piss.
long story short, I accidentally pissed into my own mouth
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)