Complaining
I've just had to write a letter to my original plumber telling him to fuck off, as per the Supply of Goods & Services Act 1982

Tell me of your best complaints please
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:33, 85 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

No, I'm too wakki soz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:34, Reply)

I'm now certain it's this one.
www.comedy.co.uk/guide/pilots/all_about_me/
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:34, Reply)

lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Thats a rehash
of a pretty good radio 4 show
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:51, Reply)

I wrote to the BBC
Saying that a sketch show I'd watched on BBC3 was the worst tv show I'd ever seen and that I really think they should buck their ideas up. Got a reply too.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:35, Reply)

It was called Scallywagga or something

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Bit racist

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:36, Reply)

We complained to Findus about them stopping curry cripsy pancakes and got a nice letter back
I also complained to Cadburys about some Heroes not having any nuts in them and got a free box in the post
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

THAT'S JUST REMINDED ME THAT THERE'S A BOX OF CHOCOLATES IN MY BAG!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:39, Reply)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
\o/
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:39, Reply)

I complained to Rowntrees/Nestle
About the lack of Fruit Gums in their pick n' mix and the over abundance of Fruit Pastille's.

They told me that every measure is taken to try and have an even distribution.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:41, Reply)

Never got a free nuffink :(

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:41, Reply)

If it wasn't for that errant apostrophe they'd probably have chucked you a free pack.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:42, Reply)

'The packet is right in front of him, and he still can't spell it.....
SEND HIM NOTHING!'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:44, Reply)

I always fast type on here.
Have to fit it in quick between actual work.

Anyway... Fuck off, grammar Nazi.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Other hand busy eh???

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:17, Reply)

My Nan once complained that she found a piece of wood in a packet of McCoys
So they sent her a massive box of them. It was brilliant.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:41, Reply)

What did she do with the massive box of wood?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Formed a splinter group

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:52, Reply)

She sounds barking

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:57, Reply)

I complained about my shit life, but no one cared. BOO FUCKING HOO

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:35, Reply)

You should talk to shitshitshit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Is that a real person?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Hard to tell
Anyway, you can't talk to him at the moment - he's locked up
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Something to look forward to then

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Did he kill himself in the end?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Apparently not.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

What a cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I have no complaint story,
But I did just pull an old man out of a ditch, that he had just rolled his reliant robin in to.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Then you killed him?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Nah, I just asked if he was ok, got back in my car and drove off.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I hope you pushed his car over again first

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:40, Reply)

And slapped him round the head.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:41, Reply)

It's sort of hanging from a tree branch nose down toward the river.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:49, Reply)

Did it...hahaha.......freewheel....haha...down the bank ?
SEEWHATIDIDTHERE?!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:00, Reply)

You're wasted here sports.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Normally on Fridays, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:10, Reply)

Not so reliant then !!!!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:42, Reply)

Hoho!
The stupid thing was that he wasn't even in the car. It had run out of petrol, so he was pushing it in to the cat park at the vet, which is a steep driveway with the building on one side, and a ditch down to the river on the other.
I don't know how he thought he was going to stop it rolling in to the river, but luckily it caught on a tree. It's still hanging by the branch nose pointing down toward the water, god knows how they'll recover it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Tina Turner lols

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Hahaha ohhhhh, the innocent trials of country-folk :)
They should trn it into a sitcom so that we supercilious city dwellers can have a patronising laugh at them. A bath should probably be involved.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:52, Reply)

I just watched it all happen, thinking, how us he going to stop the car at the bottom of the hill.
And then he was running, and then he fell a the car went over and I just thought, shit, if he falls in the river I'm gonna have to go get him, and I'm wearing new jeans.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:54, Reply)

I won't lie to you, Windy.
I'd have laughed.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:57, Reply)

It was all a bit surreal, and the old man was clearly a fruit loop

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:06, Reply)

You've lifted this from an episode of Mr. Bean
Why do you have to tell all these lies, Wind?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:43, Reply)

UNreliant Robin more like!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:53, Reply)

fuck off then

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:00, Reply)

Oi, I was having a rather painful poo, I appreciate your work.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:06, Reply)

I already did that joke earlier...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Sssshhh, let him have this one, he doesn't win often, poor bald little TH.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:10, Reply)

:(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:15, Reply)

I complained about McDonalds once. Got a voucher.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

+for Burger King

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:38, Reply)

Did you complain that all their burgers are bollocks?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:40, Reply)

50% bollocks
25% brain
25% other
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:48, Reply)

McDonalds actually use very good cuts of meat.
but then they flash freeze it and it ruins it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:50, Reply)

Are you serious?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:51, Reply)

I went on a tour to an abattoir while i was at school
you can't question that sort of logic.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:53, Reply)

Just because it's a good cut, doesn't make it good meat.
Depends what the cows ate, how much exercise, how old etc
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:10, Reply)

That username chap over on qotw is pretty humourless, isn't he?
He seems to make a lot of complaints.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:41, Reply)

Who is it that doesn't like moths?
I caught this fucker in my front room the other night:

www.b3tards.com/u/0fcb2734f07769c5925f/moth.jpg
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:51, Reply)

That'll be Kroney.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:55, Reply)

Fucking hell, it's got claws!

( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:56, Reply)

It was him or me, Krones

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:57, Reply)

I don't like the way their wings appear to be made out of dust.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:58, Reply)

I don't like the way they're made out of evil and lies.

( Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:59, Reply)

Dont forget night terrors too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:59, Reply)

Plus the fact that they will steal the soul
of anyone who is scared of them.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

I saw this kerazy one on the rocks next to the lighthouse

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:58, Reply)

I used to complain
fairly often about tobacco, just buy a couple at a time let one dry out then send it back. This was at uni and they would very often send you many packs to apologise. Good scam.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 15:53, Reply)

You're a horrible person.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:09, Reply)

Sorry WP
I couldn't help myself I was weak OK...

They don't do this anymore either, thought I would try it on a few months ago and they just sent a replacement pack, rather than the big box full... Sad times when Phillip Morris cant spare a few quid for a scammer
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti4sqG85FU4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:22, Reply)

you AA scum

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:10, Reply)

Monty.
I'm watching a show about meth, and there's a guy that looks like me getting arrested.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:11, Reply)

I said the exact same thing while watching Breaking Bad

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:16, Reply)

Bald and beardy is cool again.
Your time is now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:18, Reply)

No wonder the tobacco industry is struggling so much

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:12, Reply)

hey a few free pack of baccy
for the life time of addiction and cancer seems a fair trade to me.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 16:14, Reply)