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This is a question Off Topic

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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Apparently I filled in a wine questionairre a bit ago, online.
Probably did, can't remember, anyway, a guy from the company has phoned me, wants to come round and bring me a selection of vinos to sample. Is this a blag, a blag to flog me some booze, or something more sinister?
Or I am just being a bit paranoid?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:21, 152 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
It's the 'wants to come round' bit that's weird.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:25, Reply)
Get someone pissed, get them to sign a direct debit form.
The fact Pooks can't remember doing the survey should set the alarm bells off.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:26, Reply)
Strategy.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)
welcome to the hard sell

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:27, Reply)
We've got fun 'n' games

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
i'm werking doc, it's shit
plus I have an 8:30 meeting tomorrow and hour and a half from my house
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:31, Reply)
Wet a towel and wrap it round your head. That will muffle the signal.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:33, Reply)
Then get the fuck outta there.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:34, Reply)
it's Nakers.
He's going to botsex you.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
Alright Dozer.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
alright flatulent boar

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:38, Reply)
How's tricks?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:39, Reply)
nae bad
Sold some shares. I needed a couple of grand at short notice.

I feel frightfully capitalist.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:40, Reply)
please, have you seen the state of him?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)
Which /offtopicer would you botsex then?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:37, Reply)
do you wnat them in order?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:42, Reply)
Yer go on then

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
you
Rory
Windy
Two hats
you again
you
Dozer (if grace isn't in there)
you
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
*cries*

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:58, Reply)
Ha ha no one wants to bum the bummer

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
Ha ha the no show for the slo-mo homo.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
soz, but I don't want to be gay about it

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
YOUR LOSS!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
I'm free on Saturday

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
SECOND LAST????????
WE ARE THROUGH.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Yer
I've met Pookie. Got pissed with him in York a few years ago.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:38, Reply)
Wait hang on
Someone actually met you in York?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:42, Reply)
Several have.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:43, Reply)
but more haven't?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
Look Chompy
You're Off Topic's shittest bully. Yet another field in which you've comprehensively failed.

Why don't you go and post some more gazzes, you idiotic little shitheap.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:46, Reply)
errr...

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:49, Reply)
IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT LAME TEASING ABOUT BEING 'STOOD UP' BY OFF TOPICERS
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE QUITE LITERALLY EVERYBODY DESPISES ME.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
I don't

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:51, Reply)
You do though.
Wikipedia says so.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
PROVE IT YOU FUCKING PRICK!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Nah, I'll just wallow in my own rebarbative superciliousness.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:01, Reply)
Fair enough

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
It's a deal that works for me.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
"Why do birds suddenly appear"

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Because chicks dig me.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:53, Reply)
very good

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
You seem alright to me. For a black fella.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
I'm an Irish Paki actually.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Yeah, black, like I said.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I'm like the James Joyce of the internet.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
More James corden
(Fat joke)
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
I ent fat.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
In my mind everyone is.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
In your mind it's raining black drops of lithium rain.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
*shrugs*

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Probably be fine.
Or murder.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
you wouold say that

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
I've changed.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)
He's planning to get you drunk then bum you
Have fun!
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:36, Reply)
The next Android OS is called Kit Kat. That's shit innit?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:44, Reply)
Yes.
But not as bent as 'Snow Leopard' etc.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
Sex panther.
Was that one?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:46, Reply)
yeah, 60% of time it worked all the time

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
It's got real panther in it, so you know it's good.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
Or Nakers.
That is well bent.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:46, Reply)
They whole wakki cake thing is pathetic
and surely Kit Kat is trademarked?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
It's balls. I have an Android and hate people asking if I have fucking Jellybean or whatever.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
You know York City FC?
Their ground is called Kit Kat Crescent.

I shit you not.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
yeah but, nestle confectionery are based there and I assume sponsor it

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
yer true
Utter shit name though.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:49, Reply)
Yep. It has an r in a circle after it.
Have a break
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
Generic 'chunky/four fingers' pun

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
Sideways for you...

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:53, Reply)
I'd have to start with one and work my way up to the full four after training.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
Ah, you've done fisting before I see.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:58, Reply)
Don't get excited.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
too late, my amphibious compadre, too late.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
He rents it out to cave divers

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
Renting implies the exchange of money.
This had NOT occurred to me.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
I filled one of them in too, thinking they would just send the wine
SEND ME FREE WINE!!

I arranged for him to call me back and arrange a time, then blocked the number.
The British way of avoiding things.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
Textbook avoidance.
'10/10 would avoid again. A+++++++'
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I reckon it's a hard sell.
Free booze, then a debit. I might arrange to meet him in my local. Obviously, it's financially all good to him.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
DO YOU NOT EVEN READ MY POSTS SHITHEAD

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Does anyone?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I do cos he's the best one here.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
^FACT^

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
by 'best', you mean 'least shit'

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
He amuses me.
In a 'get the class spaz to do things that we can't get away with' way.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
He should pretend to bum the janitor.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:04, Reply)
who'[s the janitor?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
Bonzodog29.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
he's a janitor?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Hopefully.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
Is that why he mostly shows up in threads after everyone's left them?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
That, and the chronic alcololism.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:09, Reply)
Is he Australian?
I always read his posts in an aussie accent.
Same way people read mine like a Geordie Julian Clary.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
what accent do you read mine in?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
Scotch queen

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
Ooh I say!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
I haven't applied one to you yet..
I haven't for most, just a few.

Nobody else do this?

:/
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
Nah, just you.
maybe it's a bent thing.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:20, Reply)
DAMMIT

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:20, Reply)
^ proof right here ^
r

LOL!
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
'Scotch queen' it is...

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
:'(

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
yeah, I do to some extent

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:20, Reply)
Go on then, let's have your list - username: voice

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:23, Reply)
Dozer: scotch queen
rory: fast talking irish pikey
Battered: trying to hide common roots
Swipe: shrill lurches into deep northern
Placid: 70's Midland car plant worker
AA: mumbles in northern
chomp: snorts and tsks at the end of most sentances
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:27, Reply)
By all that is holy, this is perfect.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:27, Reply)
I knew he wouldn't let me down

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:29, Reply)
He's the best one here.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:29, Reply)
totes

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:30, Reply)
Imma gon do my MA dissertation on that post.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:32, Reply)
This is why you're the best.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:30, Reply)
\o/
sorry was off buying pocket squares and ties
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:32, Reply)
The Chomp description is how I had imagined too. Actual lol.
See you later.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)


(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)
Nah e's an essex boy

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
Fuck knows where that came from then.
Probably 'Bonzer'
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
ye3r otherwise how would they all know to tell me off for my spelling?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
I haven't read this post but I bet there's a spelling mistake in it

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
And how would we know interesting stuff about Fray Bentos?
Spakka.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:01, Reply)
How is Spakkaman?
Not seen him for ages.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
His cock now does that precum thing.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
Whodatden?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
I assume posts written in caps,
are a bit special,in not the good way. So no.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
What do you call an arrogant Roman clown?
Supercilious!
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
haha we have a right laugh here dont we

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
No.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
I'm off to bed bollocks, I'm knackered. Absolutrely.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
What do you call a 1982 American science fiction film released by Walt Disney Productions having a sleep?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Do tell.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
Dozertron.
I think it's bed time.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:09, Reply)
Are you trying to get me in bed?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
No.
Not Into men, especially fat ones. It's a no from me.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:14, Reply)
Why you slimy little bug eyed creep!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:14, Reply)
He's been leading you on all night and all

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
Next thing he'll do is stand me up!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:16, Reply)
I was going, but I'm not having this.
HE HASN'T BOUGHT ME ONE DRINK ALL NIGHT, NOT ONE! I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
How about you buy me a pizza instead?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
IT'S OVER BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CRIPPLING DEBT. BYE.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
IT'S REAL LEATHER!

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
Oh we'll in that case
See you at pizza express tomorrow at eight.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:24, Reply)
It's okay, I have that voucher that entitles me to a free pizza.
Or we could go to a much nicer family-run place. You know, better menu, more atmosphere, more character.

No vouchers though, soz.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:25, Reply)
Nah, pizza seems the way for us to move forward and take our relationship to the next level.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:28, Reply)
Shit sex?

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
U kno dat

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
I'm actually disappointed at not being pulled up for using the incorrect 'homo' up there.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Too obvious innit.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
Yer.

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
I'm actually disappointed that you're such a bender

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
Not really it's actually what I expect from you

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
Hey, we make a rilly rilly cute couple.
You know it, I know it.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
Night cock gobblers x x

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
Night babes xoxo

(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
Something to end the evening with
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MavDRwy2Ml4
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:39, Reply)
I'm crywanking to this
youtu.be/p26kW302T1g

:'(
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:43, Reply)

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