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This is a question Off Topic

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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Apparently I filled in a wine questionairre a bit ago, online.
Probably did, can't remember, anyway, a guy from the company has phoned me, wants to come round and bring me a selection of vinos to sample. Is this a blag, a blag to flog me some booze, or something more sinister?
Or I am just being a bit paranoid?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:21, 152 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
It's the 'wants to come round' bit that's weird.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:25, Reply)
Get someone pissed, get them to sign a direct debit form.
The fact Pooks can't remember doing the survey should set the alarm bells off.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:26, Reply)
Strategy.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)
welcome to the hard sell

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:27, Reply)
We've got fun 'n' games

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
i'm werking doc, it's shit
plus I have an 8:30 meeting tomorrow and hour and a half from my house
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:31, Reply)
Wet a towel and wrap it round your head. That will muffle the signal.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:33, Reply)
Then get the fuck outta there.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:34, Reply)
it's Nakers.
He's going to botsex you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
Alright Dozer.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
alright flatulent boar

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:38, Reply)
How's tricks?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:39, Reply)
nae bad
Sold some shares. I needed a couple of grand at short notice.

I feel frightfully capitalist.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:40, Reply)
please, have you seen the state of him?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)
Which /offtopicer would you botsex then?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:37, Reply)
do you wnat them in order?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:42, Reply)
Yer go on then

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
you
Rory
Windy
Two hats
you again
you
Dozer (if grace isn't in there)
you
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:58, Reply)
Ha ha no one wants to bum the bummer

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
Ha ha the no show for the slo-mo homo.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
soz, but I don't want to be gay about it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
YOUR LOSS!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
I'm free on Saturday

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
SECOND LAST????????
WE ARE THROUGH.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Yer
I've met Pookie. Got pissed with him in York a few years ago.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:38, Reply)
Wait hang on
Someone actually met you in York?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:42, Reply)
Several have.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:43, Reply)
but more haven't?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
Look Chompy
You're Off Topic's shittest bully. Yet another field in which you've comprehensively failed.

Why don't you go and post some more gazzes, you idiotic little shitheap.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:46, Reply)
errr...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:49, Reply)
IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT LAME TEASING ABOUT BEING 'STOOD UP' BY OFF TOPICERS
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE QUITE LITERALLY EVERYBODY DESPISES ME.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
I don't

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:51, Reply)
You do though.
Wikipedia says so.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
PROVE IT YOU FUCKING PRICK!

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Nah, I'll just wallow in my own rebarbative superciliousness.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:01, Reply)
Fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
It's a deal that works for me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
"Why do birds suddenly appear"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Because chicks dig me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:53, Reply)
very good

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
You seem alright to me. For a black fella.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
I'm an Irish Paki actually.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Yeah, black, like I said.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I'm like the James Joyce of the internet.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
More James corden
(Fat joke)
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
I ent fat.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
In my mind everyone is.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
In your mind it's raining black drops of lithium rain.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
*shrugs*

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Probably be fine.
Or murder.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
you wouold say that

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:28, Reply)
I've changed.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:29, Reply)
He's planning to get you drunk then bum you
Have fun!
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:36, Reply)
The next Android OS is called Kit Kat. That's shit innit?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:44, Reply)
Yes.
But not as bent as 'Snow Leopard' etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
Sex panther.
Was that one?
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:46, Reply)
yeah, 60% of time it worked all the time

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
It's got real panther in it, so you know it's good.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
Or Nakers.
That is well bent.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:46, Reply)
They whole wakki cake thing is pathetic
and surely Kit Kat is trademarked?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
It's balls. I have an Android and hate people asking if I have fucking Jellybean or whatever.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
You know York City FC?
Their ground is called Kit Kat Crescent.

I shit you not.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
yeah but, nestle confectionery are based there and I assume sponsor it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
yer true
Utter shit name though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:49, Reply)
Yep. It has an r in a circle after it.
Have a break
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
Generic 'chunky/four fingers' pun

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
Sideways for you...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:53, Reply)
I'd have to start with one and work my way up to the full four after training.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
Ah, you've done fisting before I see.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:58, Reply)
Don't get excited.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
too late, my amphibious compadre, too late.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
He rents it out to cave divers

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
Renting implies the exchange of money.
This had NOT occurred to me.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
I filled one of them in too, thinking they would just send the wine
SEND ME FREE WINE!!

I arranged for him to call me back and arrange a time, then blocked the number.
The British way of avoiding things.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
Textbook avoidance.
'10/10 would avoid again. A+++++++'
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I reckon it's a hard sell.
Free booze, then a debit. I might arrange to meet him in my local. Obviously, it's financially all good to him.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
DO YOU NOT EVEN READ MY POSTS SHITHEAD

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Does anyone?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I do cos he's the best one here.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
^FACT^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
by 'best', you mean 'least shit'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
He amuses me.
In a 'get the class spaz to do things that we can't get away with' way.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
He should pretend to bum the janitor.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:04, Reply)
who'[s the janitor?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
Bonzodog29.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
he's a janitor?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Hopefully.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
Is that why he mostly shows up in threads after everyone's left them?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
That, and the chronic alcololism.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:09, Reply)
Is he Australian?
I always read his posts in an aussie accent.
Same way people read mine like a Geordie Julian Clary.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
what accent do you read mine in?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
Scotch queen

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
Ooh I say!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
I haven't applied one to you yet..
I haven't for most, just a few.

Nobody else do this?

:/
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
Nah, just you.
maybe it's a bent thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:20, Reply)
DAMMIT

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:20, Reply)
^ proof right here ^
r

LOL!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
'Scotch queen' it is...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
:'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
yeah, I do to some extent

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:20, Reply)
Go on then, let's have your list - username: voice

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:23, Reply)
Dozer: scotch queen
rory: fast talking irish pikey
Battered: trying to hide common roots
Swipe: shrill lurches into deep northern
Placid: 70's Midland car plant worker
AA: mumbles in northern
chomp: snorts and tsks at the end of most sentances
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:27, Reply)
By all that is holy, this is perfect.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:27, Reply)
I knew he wouldn't let me down

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:29, Reply)
He's the best one here.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:29, Reply)
totes

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:30, Reply)
Imma gon do my MA dissertation on that post.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:32, Reply)
This is why you're the best.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:30, Reply)
\o/
sorry was off buying pocket squares and ties
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:32, Reply)
The Chomp description is how I had imagined too. Actual lol.
See you later.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)


(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)
Nah e's an essex boy

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
Fuck knows where that came from then.
Probably 'Bonzer'
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
ye3r otherwise how would they all know to tell me off for my spelling?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
I haven't read this post but I bet there's a spelling mistake in it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
And how would we know interesting stuff about Fray Bentos?
Spakka.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:01, Reply)
How is Spakkaman?
Not seen him for ages.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
His cock now does that precum thing.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
Whodatden?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
I assume posts written in caps,
are a bit special,in not the good way. So no.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
What do you call an arrogant Roman clown?
Supercilious!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
haha we have a right laugh here dont we

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
No.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
I'm off to bed bollocks, I'm knackered. Absolutrely.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
What do you call a 1982 American science fiction film released by Walt Disney Productions having a sleep?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Do tell.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
Dozertron.
I think it's bed time.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:09, Reply)
Are you trying to get me in bed?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
No.
Not Into men, especially fat ones. It's a no from me.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:14, Reply)
Why you slimy little bug eyed creep!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:14, Reply)
He's been leading you on all night and all

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
Next thing he'll do is stand me up!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:16, Reply)
I was going, but I'm not having this.
HE HASN'T BOUGHT ME ONE DRINK ALL NIGHT, NOT ONE! I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
How about you buy me a pizza instead?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
IT'S OVER BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CRIPPLING DEBT. BYE.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:18, Reply)
IT'S REAL LEATHER!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
Oh we'll in that case
See you at pizza express tomorrow at eight.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:24, Reply)
It's okay, I have that voucher that entitles me to a free pizza.
Or we could go to a much nicer family-run place. You know, better menu, more atmosphere, more character.

No vouchers though, soz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:25, Reply)
Nah, pizza seems the way for us to move forward and take our relationship to the next level.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:28, Reply)
Shit sex?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
U kno dat

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
I'm actually disappointed at not being pulled up for using the incorrect 'homo' up there.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Too obvious innit.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
Yer.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
I'm actually disappointed that you're such a bender

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
Not really it's actually what I expect from you

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
Hey, we make a rilly rilly cute couple.
You know it, I know it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
Night cock gobblers x x

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
Night babes xoxo

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
Something to end the evening with
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MavDRwy2Ml4
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:39, Reply)
I'm crywanking to this
youtu.be/p26kW302T1g

:'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 22:43, Reply)

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