fuck Friday's bad weather yo
I'm chief usher at a wedding on Friday so will have to spend a lot of time outside herding people for the photos.

Fucking met office pricks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:14, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

but you don't have any friends

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

He didn't mention any friends.
Just that he's at a wedding. You have to invite family no matter how much you loathe them. It's a law, or something.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Also pakis have fucking massive families

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I thought sporto was the resident gungadin?

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I'm an Irish Paki.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

An Iraki?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

They're called 'Brummies'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

World's most inefficient combination.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

my friend's friend, possibly the ugliest man on the planet, was getting married
i hadn't met her, but heard she was half irish, half jewish. i thought that could be a really exotic mix. my brother said, "you mean ginger and nicks your guinness."

i saw her for the first time at the wedding. they didn't spoil a pair. only wedding i've ever been to where the priest says, "you may now kiss the bride, but leave the veil down."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)

oh, and now they've been allowed to breed
it's a shame
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)

I always feel sorry for babies born to ugly parents.
All those parents are doing is perpetuating the bullying. It's very selfish of them. See also: children born to fatties and rangas.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)

hot parents can have an ugly kid
but ugly parents are never having a hot kid
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)

They'll find their own ugly partner, in time.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matching_hypothesis
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)

\o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:37, Reply)

*scotch queen*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

*scotch kiss*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

*scotch pie*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

it's for a close friend actually

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

As the best mans team of helpers, make sure you scour the venue after the service for forgotten 'toppers' and grey gloves.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

or "chicks" as he calls them

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Targets 'always the bridesmaid' crying types.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

nah, I have a 'no fat chicks' rule
Soz Swipe.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

See how you feel after an afternoon of quaffing Pimms and 'Sparkling White Wine'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)

that's quite alright on many levels

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)

it's certainly a winner for me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

says the guy who last had sex in 1996
when he was 14
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)