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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm in London for the day on Friday and it looks like it's going to rain
Does this mean there'll be less cunts on the streets or the same amount of cunts wielding eye-gouging umbrellas?

How do you handle the rain? Do you take your drenching like a man or hide in a doorway like some fucking, I dunno, rain-weenie?

Alt: Has anyone had a cronut? They look shit.

Altalt: When was the last time YOU were ZARKING!1! (frood) ?
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:00, 228 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
You stomping cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Soz
It'll be fine
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)
what's this zarking thing? the latest in joke you bunch of inbreds laugh at?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Typical Frood! *rolls eyes*

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Unremitting Frood.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)
oh right, is this a douglas adams thing?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
It's a wakki prick thing

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)
haha, i get it

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
It's merely one of many examples of 'the laugh' we have here
Stick around for more 'lols'
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)
So is the wacky ballache guy the one from twitter?

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)
He's the one who used the name of the one from twitter for a while
But then he was also using Chompy's name at Christmas and all.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
What larks!

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
Oh right, b3th gazzed me his real name a while back, didn't recognise it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Do you have to enter your name when you signup?
I can't remember.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)
no

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Phew!
If mods are handing out real names to other users I wouldn't want to leave myself open to any IRL tomfoolery
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
OK William

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)
SHIT!
*hides under blanket*
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)
fewer
Will there be fewer cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)
^ RAIN-WEENIE ^

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
^wee wee tapir^

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
What a cunt, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:10, Reply)
Yeah!
Hang on, who are we talking about?
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:10, Reply)
That cunt 'Bill Clay'
If, indeed, he is a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)
I have it on good authority that, indeed, he is
Although I'm fewer certain than I was a minute ago
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
fewer is more

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
But then an increase would just be less, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Nett or Gross?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
they're all gross on here

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Net plus Gross, divided by any VAT accrued beyond a 7.5% total threshold.

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
So less, no, hang on...fewer. Yeah fewer.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
When you break it down like that, it seems obvious

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Thanks Winston Smith

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)
ABCIIYABC

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Yeah, not bad. You?

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
I might need to have a little cry at some point this morning

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Yay more misery for the board.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
HI!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
Good stuff.
Wait until Rory and everyone else is here, to ensure maximum bullying when it happens.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)
this^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)
sheesh it took him 10 mins to get here
he's really slipping these days
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:54, Reply)
Two threads!
My tiny brain can't cope!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Thought women could multitask?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Only if one of the tasks is talking.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Usually the other task is watching a film.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
^ voice of experience ^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Wife multitasks brilliantly if its talking over a film.
Drives me nuts
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Mrs Cow does the "watch the same TV as you" then ask a million questions about it

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
^ This ^
I thought it was just my wife that did that
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
It appears to be all of them

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Hark at you lot with your 'wives' and 'kids' and 'happy lives'
Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Who the fuck said happy?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)
Wait, he's Battered's brother, right?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)
Yer, but which one of the 6 I have no idea

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Grumpy.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)
No, husbands do it too.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)

, too
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:50, Reply)
My mother is the worst person to watch television with.
For an otherwise highly intelligent woman it's like she becomes some kind of fucking retard. 'OOHHH, SO *HE'S* THE ONE FROM EARLIER' etc.

Her finest hour was when I watched Gladiator with her and she started chanting 'pae-do, pae-do' when Commodus was leering over his sleeping nephew. I fucking wet myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:39, Reply)
She was talking to you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
You know, the more I think back the more I realise how unhappy I was with my wife.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Small mercies

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Still better to die alone and drunk in a bedsit eh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)
Bedsit? No thank you.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:44, Reply)
well played

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:44, Reply)
Oh, god, I *hate* that.
Himself does it ALL the bastard time.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)

watching a film pretending to listen
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Bergerac has been excellent this morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:51, Reply)
Are you off work with the shits again?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)
I think he's become one of those 'job-seekers' like you

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Not enough time for one, sorry.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
No. Working on this bloody restructure. Better done at home. Got to have it finished & presented by the end of the month.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
4 weeks to get that done. Are you learning to read and write first?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)
I guess he has to find ways to disguise the real reasons for how they choose who to sack.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
Not my favourite brandy, but OK for a morning snifter.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)
I has steak.
Can we argue about whether it's lunch or dinner please? I like that one. I tried rereading Douglas Adams a while back, truly awful.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:54, Reply)
There's no argument. It's lunch or Luncheon.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
When?
At dinnertime?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
Supper

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)
Its not that good

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)
i fucking hate rain when i'm going out/need to look smart
it turns my hair into manky frizziness

however, if it doesn't matter what you look like, walking in a light refreshing drizzle is nice. and if it hasn't made the ground all slippery and nasty.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Bit gay.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)
I'M A GIRL
you homophobic spastic
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
I bet you love it when you are soaking wet.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
you dirty animal

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
But you WERE a man.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
you're thinking of your mum again

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Ent. I've heard the stories.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
you made up the stories

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
And they are published in leather bound tomes gathering dust as no-one wants to read about you.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)
well, no
who would? random internet stories about some random on the internet? unless your name is E L James, that is. and even then, christ knows why anyone would touch that shite with a bargepole.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
People are fucking idiots.
Worse than that, they're fucking idiots for no purpose at all. I have no idea why anybody does anything.

This is car chat, btw, though it isn't immediately apparent. Fair warning to those that don't care.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)
so, everyone then?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)
It's really a loosely car-related general throwing up of hands at the idiocy of the public at large.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
oh well, we can all get on board with that
might have falafel for lunch. what has uxbridge got to offer today? lasagne at martins??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
Dunno, I usually go to Pret and get angry at the stupid people in there, too.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
go to martins
have the lasagne and chips

fail to move for a fortnight
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
No offence but Martin's looks shit and you're a notorious food-wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
it's not shit
try it, you'll like it. it's proper home-made food.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Power steering woes?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Fucking courtesy light. This is probably the most ridiculous non-problem in the world, but here goes.
Courtesy light doesn't work. I figure it's the unit as something similar happened in my old car. I opened it up to find that somebody had cut the wire for the switch, inserted an extra length of wire, soldered it, then wrapped it in tape. The solder had come apart in the tape, which is why it wasn’t working. I cut off the unnecessary section, crimped the wire into a bullet connector and it all works again. I have no idea why anybody would do that.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
What's a courtesy light?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
The interior light that comes on when you open the door.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
Oh. Never heard it called that before.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
i don't know, but that's 3 minutes of your life that you'll NEVER GET BACK

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
Not a fan of crimping stories then?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
How slow a reader are you?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
stupidly fast, as it happens
i can get through a book and a half a day on holiday. of course it helps when they only have pictures.

i was thinking of dr frog holding up his little webbed foot under each word.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)
Read it, read it, read it......

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
Ha ha!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)
CLICK

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)
BIG webbed foot akshully

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)
but you're only 5'8
how big can your feet be?

it's dozer 2: return of the clowns
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)
11/12 HOBBIT WOES

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
christ you must look like a capital L
or J, depending on which way you stand
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
More of an upside down F.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)
with a very short middle stroke

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
I can't work out why he'd have one leg two foot shorter than the other.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
because inbred

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
Thalidomide

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Approximately one third of foot size.
Being generous.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
Do you read every word?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
yep, i just read incredibly quickly
i used to get told off in every new class at junior school, because the teachers didn't believe i'd read my library books, and thought i was sloping off to be naughty. it was great as a kid and for exams, but i don't think it does me any favours in my job, as i will read things really quickly, and inevitably have to go back over some of them - you just can't read the law quickly. it doesn't work.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
I couldn't imagine reading that quickly.
I have to touch the screen to stop my ipad from auto-locking about 4/5ths of the way down a page on kindle, so I think it takes me about 5 minuites to page (not sure what default is)..... so a 450 page book would take me 37.5 hours.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Probably a sentence a minute, mouthing the words and asking for help from the carer.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)
One of the 12v sockets has stopped working in my car
Theres 2 but I want them both to work. I have checked the fuse but thats about as far is my knowledge gets.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
when i had my beetle, the stereo would fuse for no reason whatsoever
after much investigation, to my dad's glee when he got the bill, it was something to do with wires in the "courtesy" light. some amateur restorer had wired the whole thing up very badly indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)
I expect he crimped the wire into a bullet connector and it all worked again.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
Crimp the wire into a bullet connector and it all works again.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
Windy Pig's the new OT electrician, but my understanding is that it's all about having a complete circuit.
Check the joins, the earthing point is another common spot for failing circuits. Is it a cigarette type socket?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
Course it is you chimp.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
He said he has two.
I don't know many cars with two cigarette lighters.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Mine has. One in the front. One in the boot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
So all the people you kidnap can have a relaxing smoke whilst they're being driven out into the desert?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)
dessert more like

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Yeah well my car goes
Brooooooom Vroooooom screeeeeee brooooom
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Good. Sounds like someone already crimped the wire into a bullet connector so it all worked again.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
They sure did Jeremy Fisher
they crimped em good
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
It passes the time before dying, that's why.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)
42.
There will be the same hurrying, mannerless cunts. With brollies!
I face the rain like a man, pull my hood up and get on with it. I'm no umbrella (ella ella) ponce.

alt. Sounds forrin.

altalt. Stop it.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
fuck Friday's bad weather yo
I'm chief usher at a wedding on Friday so will have to spend a lot of time outside herding people for the photos.

Fucking met office pricks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
but you don't have any friends

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
He didn't mention any friends.
Just that he's at a wedding. You have to invite family no matter how much you loathe them. It's a law, or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
Also pakis have fucking massive families

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
I thought sporto was the resident gungadin?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
I'm an Irish Paki.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
An Iraki?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
They're called 'Brummies'

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
World's most inefficient combination.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
my friend's friend, possibly the ugliest man on the planet, was getting married
i hadn't met her, but heard she was half irish, half jewish. i thought that could be a really exotic mix. my brother said, "you mean ginger and nicks your guinness."

i saw her for the first time at the wedding. they didn't spoil a pair. only wedding i've ever been to where the priest says, "you may now kiss the bride, but leave the veil down."
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)
oh, and now they've been allowed to breed
it's a shame
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)
I always feel sorry for babies born to ugly parents.
All those parents are doing is perpetuating the bullying. It's very selfish of them. See also: children born to fatties and rangas.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)
hot parents can have an ugly kid
but ugly parents are never having a hot kid
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
They'll find their own ugly partner, in time.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matching_hypothesis
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:37, Reply)
*scotch queen*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
*scotch kiss*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)
*scotch pie*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
it's for a close friend actually

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
As the best mans team of helpers, make sure you scour the venue after the service for forgotten 'toppers' and grey gloves.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
or "chicks" as he calls them

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Targets 'always the bridesmaid' crying types.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
nah, I have a 'no fat chicks' rule
Soz Swipe.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
See how you feel after an afternoon of quaffing Pimms and 'Sparkling White Wine'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
that's quite alright on many levels

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
it's certainly a winner for me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)
says the guy who last had sex in 1996
when he was 14
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I just walk between the raindrops like a fucken slick-lantern-jawed-ninja-Bonanza-Joe-lookin motherfucker
Any cunt comes near me with an umbrella and they'll end up with a ringpiece like a cats vag.

Well, what are youse cunts looking at? Yeah, you be better be chewing a fackin brick mate.

Alt: Oh, but you must, YOU MUST! There are simple DIVINE and, what's that word? NOM! Oh but they are NOM!
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Alright Reg

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
Oh, fucken la-dee-dah, here comes a cunt now with his fucken candles
How does this go? Er...Oh, woo and ayay, this here fellow has been a bent spastic for..*counts on fingers* FUCKEN EVER and he has fucken CANDLESES to PROVE IT. HAPPY CANDLE DAY (DA FUQ??) AND KITTUMS AND SHIT!! *skips in a circle*

No bad Tangers, you?
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)
hello quentin

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Don't you ever get tired of embarrassing yourself in public?

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)
or were you rory?
i forget. ALL THE SAME.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)
RACIST

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)
and sexist
and ageist

next?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Probably more 'Burtons Menswear'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:36, Reply)
I've been bullied about where I live :(
Why are they sooo meen?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)
A crippling case of stones and oats deficiency tango
You could live in fucken Narnia but it dunt matter to these fuckers, they'll always find a way. Or just make shit up.
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!
Royal Worcester have released a Royal Birth range of fine china for your high end dining delectation.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Limited Edition?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
You know it, bbz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
It's about time I treated myself
And this is just the excuse I need.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Have a wank.
Quicker, cheaper.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Also 'limited edition'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:36, Reply)
You know, I really think this is a turning point in the porcelain production industry.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:36, Reply)
Hi Wee pee

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:38, Reply)
Yes.
You?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:39, Reply)
yes and then some
but also no
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Why no?
I thought you owned it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:43, Reply)

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