Morning men
It is Calf 2's 4th birthday today. I'm sitting in soft play with all the childminders at the moment. They are all munters

I have some rather nice olives to eat when I get back home
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:41, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Olives are shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)

^level 3 Nakers

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

No. On this he is correct.

( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

^ oh sssooooooooooo much this ^
bitter little bastards
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)

I used to hate them but I'm gradually coming around

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)

they ruin everything
one of my favourite qotw stories:


Why, just WHY??

OK, this doesn't involve poo or nasty body squirtings, just a food stuff that was obviously copied from a picture.

I was in Northern Ireland and at university, so poor. This is the only reason why anyone would eat in the university cafe type place. They managed to suck out all the taste and texture of any food and produce a terrible grey mush. That wasn't the problem when I went in with my two pounds and spied a pizza.

It wasn't a big pizza, but it appeared to be well made. A slice of tomato that was still red, real cheese, two spears of asparragus (no really) and in the middle a black olive. I hadn't had an olive since leaving home, they weren't high on the shopping list (that was beer and fags) so I payed my money and went to enjoy my illicit middleclass olive eating pleasure.

It was a grape

A fucking GRAPE

I can only think that they once saw a picture of a pizza and thought in thier lard addled minds... "oooh that black thing there. It must be a grape, for there are no other black round foods".

I still feel the dissapointment...

(
rockers74 killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.
, Sun 20 May 2007, 13:30, I like this!, More)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)

i lolled heartily at that when it was first written

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)

and me
"lard addled minds". heh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Child minders are usually women so ugly that they have to borrow children
because nobody wants to give them their own.
( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

bollocks is this true
there are millions of minging mothers.

and an annoying fucktonne of hot nannies in west london.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)

^dusty womb and blobbing^

( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)

you ruin everything

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)

This is because Nannying is shit pay
so they have to be hot enough to tempt the father into an affair, and thus get bought off massively in return for their silence.

Or sutin.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Basically women are evil.

( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)

bitches be trippin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:57, Reply)

it's the stupidly high heels they insist on wearing.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:59, Reply)

some of us manage to walk in sky high heels
but fall on our faces in nike air max :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Snakes with tits. The lot of them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)

This is why there's no point going out with ugly ones.
They're all going to bite you at some point, might as well have something nice to look at in the meantime.
( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)

so what's OG's excuse for shagging you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)

I'm a lot more charming when I want to get in somebody's knickers.

( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)

+ witty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)