Give me a million quid or I'll both these cunts' heads off.
Hello.
I'm talking like this because it's apparently Talk Like A Pirate today.
How are you keeping it real today?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:45, 139 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm drinking water instead of coffee and fizzy pop.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)

Bender.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Spastic.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Bent Spastic

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:51, Reply)

^TGGI^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Just noticed your sig.
*gives secret club handshake*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:52, Reply)

*'low' fives*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Not that fucking secret is it?
It's basically only me and Rory who aren't on mad pills round here.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:18, Reply)

I'm not.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:20, Reply)

You fucking should be, if you've opted to stay in Coventry.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:23, Reply)

You are of course right
I should move away from all of my family and friends, perhaps to London, where I could fill the emptiness of my nights with secret bashes with near strangers off the internet.
But it'll be ok, because I'll be living in the best city in the world.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:27, Reply)

^ bitter

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Obviously

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)

Upset^^^^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Typing through bitter tears here, mate.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)

I just got a new hole punch and tape dispenser.
It's all go!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:49, Reply)

Ah Chompy, welcome back.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Cunt.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:57, Reply)

four or two hole?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:56, Reply)

All these '........Day' things are utter wank and pathetic.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:52, Reply)

You're so right.
Apart from Chicken Thursdays, they were great*


*they were shit
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:54, Reply)

What's the Chicken Thursday obsession round here all about?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I always thought it was Chicken Tonight
*My parents said Chicken Tonight was for plebs.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Did you ever feel like it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Anything to do with food gets em all riled

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Yeah, I skipped OLIVE CHAT deliberately earlier.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:58, Reply)

It was some frippery

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Throw the guns, drugs and bodies overboard, the navy are about to board us!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Alright 'Edward Teach'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I've got a link to a working torrent site.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:07, Reply)

I keep it real 4 tha streets er'yday and all day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)

It has been said that 'Er'yday you're husslin'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Learned gentlemen versed in such matters have mooted
that he also has mad crazy skillz, yo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)

NO CB RADIO CHAT

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:15, Reply)

It's what?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:02, Reply)

'Generic indulge yourself in being a pathetic childish silly cunt day'
It's 'fun'

:-l
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Sounds like it might be fun if you're in school.
Or a fucking cunt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:08, Reply)

*votes for Windy Pig*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)

You got it in one.
*Awards gold star*
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Meh

( Kroney, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:04, Reply)

What does "keeping it real" actually mean?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)

I keep it real by showing that no matter where I am, I still got love for the streets.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Well I'm all for councils maintaining pedestrianised areas and so forth, but I really don't see how such is worthy either of comment or admiration.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Looks like you're aren't nearly as real as you like to think.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:15, Reply)

"I am merely a shell of my former shadow".

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:16, Reply)

You'll get over it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:18, Reply)

You're still Froggy from the Block

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, GJ, I know where I came from.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:14, Reply)

Tunbridge Wells?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:16, Reply)

Chester, West Sussex, then Folkestone.
'Ghetto'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:17, Reply)

*hangs tough, stays hungry*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:19, Reply)

this is well out of town

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:15, Reply)

No D&D, LARPing, military re-enactments or Games Workshop

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

MEAN'S YOU'RE WORLDY WISE BRO
YOU DON'T TAKE NO PRISONERS AN ENT NO MUG.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Ah, I see. Well, in terms of taking prisoners - I have a man do that for me, and as for worldly-wise
I once saw Jenny Baxter-Williams in just her bra - does that count?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:15, Reply)

It means reppin ur enz YOU IDIOT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I thought it was to do with cotching wid mans up in ally pally.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Only if ally palls is ur enz.
MUST I EXPLAIN ER'YTHING TO YOU PEOPLE?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:21, Reply)

I once saw a couple "getting jiggy with it" in ally pally.
About 2 in the afternoon while kids were playing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Manz dem cray-cray up ally pally.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)

And they say northeners talk odd....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)

He don't got a cold-ass clue yo.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Oh! Oh I see!
In which case, erm, erm ... totes spec, erm ... blood ...
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:22, Reply)

str8 thuggin, G-money

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:23, Reply)

No, see -
I've lost you again now. Is that something to do with strippers?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)

*throws pipe, slippers and a pint of 'Worthy'

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Now don't you hurl footwear at me, young lad, or I'll be forced to punch you on the nose!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Crack pipe, dope kicks and some crunk juice, you mean?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:26, Reply)

I retain my authenticity by alluding to 'certain events' on a public forum, then refusing to be drawn on the details of them.
Suffice to say that if you are not in the know on these matters, then you are not where it's at and, as such, are open to ridicule by the cool (and often 'street') kids of offtopic.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Who did what when?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Tangles did mince up his Hoover snout on the kitchen floor with an oboejean

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:27, Reply)

^ TCGI

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

It's a secret.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)

tango these fucken bayshers are too fucken sordid for fucken words man!
you're WELL out of it m8, swearing down. word on the street is objectionable and innapropriate fondling of vaguely female bayta members is not only acceptable but ENCOURAGED. with fucken LEERING and ETCH-A-SKETCHIN and fucken BALLOON HATS n making merry with the hoover snouts and the velvet antlers and all fucken sorts. and you should see the pictures man, they've all got that KNOWING LOOK in their eyes. YEAH you fucken KNOW alright sunshine but I've got your fucken number
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Sometimes I think you are the only sensible one here, Reg.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Still no gaz with the deets of tonight's bash
I'm feeling very unloved AB
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Gay prick

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:27, Reply)

You rang?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)

I'm away for three days and already you're stepping on my toes?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:29, Reply)

He's a cunt like that GJ.
You're gonna have to watch him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

But you're not a prick. I am.
You're *just* gay. I'm not.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Typical gay prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)

YOU'D KNOW HUR HUR

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Why not get a later train home today and come for a pint?
I mean, I'm sure your girlfriend won't m...oh, soz m8.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:29, Reply)

You're a mean spirited chap sometimes.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)

I'm asking you out for a beer you oaf.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Just tell him 'Bill Clay' will be there

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)

YEAH HIS FUCKEN BUMCHUM 'BILL GAY'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)

^Jealous^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)

Well, how very kind!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)

So you invite doc frog and nfi me as a gay prick?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Doc Frog seems alright though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)

...for a gay prick.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Fanx

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)

nfi

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Oh god it's school, uni, post uni and now all over again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Well I never :-O

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:29, Reply)

It gets worse, Nakers
Facebook has told me about another event taking place, I think involving people who no longer post on here as well as a few who still do.
I at least know the details of this one though, so I can turn up and peer through the window at everyone having a great time without me.
Wanna come?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

^ haha blanked by nakers

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)

EDIT: IN YOUR FACE BOYCE
Me and Nakers are top chums and no mistake
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)

Yeah, we're gonna smoke some doob and get well baked!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:42, Reply)

YEAH!
Top larks!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:44, Reply)

Can I come?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Yeah man, you're always invited
You know that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)

are you ready to get out of your tree?!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)

DOOD WE GONNA GET SOOO HIGH

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:48, Reply)

stoned as badgers LOL

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)

Bring some munchies yeah?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)

"take me to your dealer" LOL

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:50, Reply)

I'll be wearing my Adihash t-shirt

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Oh man, that reminds me
'back in the day', like the eighties or summat, market stalls were lousy with offensive comedy tshirts, I remember seeing someone on the bus wearing one with the following slogan:

smells like fish
tastes like chicken
thats the place
you put yer dick in

kid was only about 8 or 9. NICE PICK MUM! :(
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Yes please! Sounds ORSUM!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)

YES!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I'm In.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Good man.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:39, Reply)

My friend Alex stopped a girl from being raped last night, chased the guy down, got his registration and a decent description. Police have made an arrest today. In other news ios7 is dogshit and I hate it.
(RonSwanson, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:51, Reply)

This is very off topic even for us.
I think you ought to have started a new thread with this sort of info.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Needs a question.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:59, Reply)

you'd probably want it to be "Have you ever been stopped from raping a girl, chased down, had your registration and description taken?"

jog on plod
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Damnit.
I'll get you next time, Eel!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:03, Reply)

why was your mate hanging ourt where rapists hang out?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)

The rapist/chompy was not clever and tried to do this at 6pm 5 yards off a dog walking track.
(RonSwanson, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:16, Reply)

I only bought a small box of sushi and a wrap

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)

i had curry from the bakery, but they've chnegd the recipe and it wasn't very nice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)

Do you buy your doughnuts from the cobblers?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:03, Reply)

on occasiojn

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:05, Reply)

No, but he went in once and asked for a footlong

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:06, Reply)

you'd now all about that wouldn't you bread head?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)

sure, k?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:09, Reply)

Why are you buying curries in bakeries you zany weirdster?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:04, Reply)

i dunno

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:05, Reply)

Does anyone?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:08, Reply)

it appears to be run by turkish amateur porn stars

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:09, Reply)

Do they sell kebabs too?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:10, Reply)

they do sandwiches and turkish mince in puitta and shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)

I love 'puitta and shit'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:17, Reply)

noo thread time

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:08, Reply)

aw man that was like running downstairs on chrimbo morning and finding nowt under the tree you shit santa

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:09, Reply)

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA
as in someone do a new thread please
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:10, Reply)