i was looking at the website the other day that had unusual maps on it
like a map of australia that showed that only 2 per cent of the population live on most of australia, the rest are all on the coasts. and a map of countries that GB have invaded at some point in history (theres fuck all countries left, so i think there needs to be a parlimentary motion or summat set up to start some invading and get a full house). Do you use maps? or are you the kind of weak-willed brainwrong that hands all control of your actions over to a satnav? What would you like a map of?

Alt: If you could freeze a movie at a certain point and have it blown up to poster size and hang it on your wall as a piece of art what movie and what scene would you choose?

Altalt: pick a card, any card
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:02, 104 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I love maps, but when I'm in the car on my own I'll use my phone.
alt: Into The Blue. That bit where Alba's all in a bikini and that.

altalt: seven of clubs
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:04, Reply)

yer Alba womans gone off the radar lately as far as i can tell
she used to be HOT SHIT and a NAME TO LOOK OUT FOR. i liked her in Idle Hands

ALtalt: YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ME! DUH!!
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:08, Reply)

She should regain her sexiness in Sin City 2
I think it might be a prequel though, so perhaps not.
I dunno.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I bought a radio off her once

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)

lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Doesn't she have a TV station, too?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Satnavs are for pricks.
Alt: I was a big fan of the shower scene in Porky's as a teenager, but I dunno if mrs tangle would respect my artistic choices.

Altalt: That one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:10, Reply)

you want a picture of a boiler gym teacher grabbing ahandful of teencock through a hole in the wall?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:37, Reply)

ITS ARTISTIC

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)

R U
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

I'm quite good at finding my way round.
I normally look a place up before going somewhere new and as a last resort it's Google Maps, innit.
I reckon if we invaded these Middle East countries good an proper, we could really sort out their stupid religious conflict bollocks, and throw em some Air Max while we're at it.
Everyone's a winner.

alt. Possible the scene from Batman Returns with Catwoman straddling Batman but that's a bit gay.

Altalt. Four of Clubs please.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:12, Reply)

if i had to choose one from Batmans Returns itd be the kentucky fried walken bit at the end

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Alt: The bit in Blazing Saddles where the bloke's trousers fall down

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Altalt: 8 of Diamonds

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Wrong
Mongo punching the horse out will always win
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)

NEVER MIND THAT SHIT
HERE COMES MONGO!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)

UP YOURS NIGGER
will always win
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)

For some reason, the line "Take it easy Charlie, my foot is on da rail" always makes me laugh
Maybe it's the delivery, but it always makes me chuckle.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:28, Reply)

I fucking love maps, me. Charles Booth's London poverty maps especially.
An ex of mine had a London map from 1852, it was ace. I'd like that one.

Alt: the bit in Time Bandits when Connery says THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE ISH DEAD

Alt: I pick you, you're a right card you are
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:14, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSNSTerj2Kc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)

They don't make 'em like THAT any more!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)

POW!
A double whammy of POP, comin' atcha:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGfb6pm3DOg
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)

RIGHT IN THE BOLLOCKS!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKikIsRCkvs
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:20, Reply)

SHIN KICK
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4rT9C5aV5A
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Fuck, that's dreadful
lollers
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Dreadfully BRILLIANT you mean

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Hold onto your hats.....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBQVrCflZ_E
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)

SHAZAM!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWHOF_0-6Hg
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:30, Reply)

You son of a bitch
You win
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Unless....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ESMt4rnn3c
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Jesus, that one actually makes me feel nauseous

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)

YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLxTEV5vpyg
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Nazarene.. you have won... nothing...
*dies*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Also
This is one of the grimmest pop videos I've ever seen:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh9ggR6gaAc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:14, Reply)

im only 16 but i love this song am i crazy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Yeah
CRAZY GOOD AT LIKING GOOD MUSIC THAT IS
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Is that about paedophilia?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Woah
That says more about you than The Sweet.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Does it.
Well. There we go. I do have an uncle Joe. Maybe this is a sign.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Doesn't count unless he's your Papa

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)

I'm not sure exactly how, but I'm pretty convinced this comment makes you deeply racist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)

I'm not sure either, but I'm inclined to agree

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

I'd like a map of the whole world, but in spherical form. I'd also like it to rotate so I don't have to walk around it to see the whole thing.
Alt: The bit in Deliverance where the hillbilly gaylord is slumped over dying after Bandit shot him with an arrow.

Altalt: Sympathy.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)

I had a globe. Sadly I lost it.
Shame really as it meant the world to me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Globe is an excellent word
It reminds me of taking acid and my mate just coming out with the phrase "Two Globular Moons", which I found to be the funniest thing EVAR
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:31, Reply)

I hate Satnav, but will use it if I've got to be somewhere important.
Alt: that bit in Caddy Shack where bill Murray does that face. I lol every time. Lolololol. LOL. Lol .

Altalt. Queen if hearts
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I used the new Google Maps satnav type thingy yesterday to find a new route to the kid's school
It is really rather good
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)

It's not bad, for free it's very good
I'm just trying out CoPilot GPS on my phone, as my satnav has gone titsup, and it is excellent, may even fork out the £20 for the full version with traffic update etc, still cheaper than buying another satnav.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

I want a shatnav

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

To boldly go?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:36, Reply)

I love paper maps when out walking, it's surprising the stuff you can find out on a map.
In a car, I'll use a satnav the first time I go somewhere but I also look for landmarks so I can could back again without having to resort to technology. I'd love an early OS map of Warwickshire.
Alt: The part in 'Cat on a hot tin roof' where Liz Taylor's putting on stockings.
Altalt: Not that one, the one next to it.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Sometime's I wish I drove so I could go to the middle of nowhere and have a trek about.
but I'd be pretty shit at it and it's expensive, so fuck it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

I enjoyed watching Nigel Farrage on the news this morning trying to convince people he didn't say racist and fascist things when he was younger
Without actually saying "I never said those things" because it would have been a lie. Top bloke.

Not really interested in maps soz.

Alt, That bit in Cosi fan tutte ("All Ladies Do It") where Claudia Koll gets her arse out whilst on all fours on the bed. Google it, its pure "art"

AltAlt Mr Bun the Baker
( Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)

We all say things like that at times...
I think it's more culturalist than anything else.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Alright Jeth?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Alright Del?
I've ordered you a crate of Pasty beer.
( Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Reg, I'm supposed to go out for dinner with 'er indoors later on
She's well looking forward to it, but I'm feeling a bit out of sorts due to last night's camping on a bus and orienteering across North London.

What's the best way to tell a woman to get bent?
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Shit in her cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:28, Reply)

^typical paki

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:29, Reply)

*marries 8 year old*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Just be grateful he wasn't on your bus
His type will rape anything on public transport.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

One of them was eyeing me beadily as we went up through Islington.
Must have been his stop though, lucky escape, that.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Offer an alternative night.
Feign injury

Shit in her cunt.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:31, Reply)

It would be merde-r to get your aim right

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Offer an alternative night?
You don't know women AT ALL. Not even a dry back-hander to keep her schtum? Tut.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Then how come the ones in my life don't shriek at me like a banshee?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Cos you've got lads for that, innit.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Nah, just good people skills :)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)

So, here's something I've always wanted to know.
So, you know how the fruitier ones sometimes get to screeching? Are you allowed to give 'em an open hand slap to get them grounded the same way you can with hysterical women, or are you supposed to go with a closed fist punch? It's a minefield, you know.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:43, Reply)

I would go with a handslap.
Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Thanks man, I'd have been well embarrassed if I'd got that wrong.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

What, like a cybergoth club or something?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:40, Reply)

I never got them.
How can you be so melancholy, yet colourful?

Is it irony?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

fucken take some pills or summat and do right by yer missus joe
if she can see youre struggling but still making the effort then thats a chip in your pot for later innit
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

This man knows his oats.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

This is excellent advice.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:37, Reply)

He's like Dear Deirdre

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Even sexier, though.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:42, Reply)

I'm looking forward to his photo stories of awkward situations where everybody's in their underwear.

( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I quite literally can't wait.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)

i ent no picasso, but here goes

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

This is brilliant.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Haha excellent
and so subtle too, I have absolutely no idea who is being taken off, here.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I'd like a map of Winona Ryder's house. Just because I think it would be interesting not because I want to study the security systems or anything.
Alt: that sexy bit in The Shining when he's dancing with the naked lady and he looks in the mirror and her back's all rotting.

Altalt: THE ACE OF SPADES! THE ACE OF SPADES!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:32, Reply)

I predict it's full of stolen goods.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)

She stole my heart.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:42, Reply)

I like her too but not in the same way.
She was good in Black Swan. Still got it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Seen the photoshoot she did earlier this year? Maaaan ...
Just off to the toilet.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:55, Reply)

There is a particular scene in Lesbian Lavatory Lust that always gets me to defcon bongle. So that please.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:41, Reply)

I hereby give notice that I shall be using "Defcon Bongle" as my own, and shall take any credit for it for myself.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:43, Reply)

That's a Kroney original, soz.
I'll let you use it under licence, but I'll be expecting standard royalties.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Cool - I'll pay you in the standard way.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:55, Reply)

I can claim no credit for that expression.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

looking at the map, to complete our europe set we'd need to invade
Sweden
Liechtenstein
Luxembourg
Andorra
Monaco
Belarus
and Vatican City

that seems do-able
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Can we please start with the Vatican?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Fucking crazy place, that
Cool but mental
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Has one of the biggest banks in Europe though, so worth invading?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Have you been to the Vatican museum? Obscene wealth. Disgusting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)

The whole place is like something from a film
Its like Portmerion's Dad
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I have
Next time a nun shakes a collection tin at me I'm going to kick up up the arse HARD
( Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Nah, the current head vicar tweets, he's sound.
Leichtenstein's a stupid country, we should bully that one first.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Oh, the irony.
Where's Dozer?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Only ones who would put up a fight would be those religious nuts in the Vatican.
Just drop a load of kids on them. Problem solved.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)