evening chumps
want a sausage roll?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:06, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Only puff pastry and homemade please.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:10, Reply)

um, i put them in the oven myself
turns out when there are 8 people coming over for a party you don't need 20 sausage rolls
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:11, Reply)

Classic over catering!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:12, Reply)

i made a big cake thuogh
but that's less of an issue
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:13, Reply)

I always do this
I made chilli for 6, for 2 of us tonight. My friend has taken home a big box of it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:14, Reply)

i'm not good at parties
I just made a cake and cooked a massive bag of sausage rolls. Oh, and laid on all the colouring books and pens you could need. We also played with spirograph. You may scoff, but if you do, scoff sausage rolls, please
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:16, Reply)

Was there booze?
If so, I'd be happy as a clam
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:20, Reply)

Are clams happy?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:22, Reply)

Always!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:24, Reply)

Phew, thank fuck for that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:24, Reply)

They're ecstatic up until they reach the cooking pot.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:24, Reply)

Then they get all hot and bothered and sweary

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:27, Reply)

My missus got all sweary on the train the other day.
Unfortunately she was asleep at the time and the couple she was sat next to informed her she'd been sleep touretting.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:29, Reply)

Hahaha that's tourettes!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:29, Reply)

It amused me when she texted to tell me this.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:36, Reply)

She's a star

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:37, Reply)

She's probably starfished in a bed of her own right now.
She gets to go to Greece for a wedding, and I get to stay at home. She did ring me before to tell me a joke though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:39, Reply)

Worth repeating?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:39, Reply)

Married couple, tired of sex being the same every night.
Husband says "We can try the carpenter position if you like".

Next night the wife dolls herself up, puts on stockings and suspenders and waits on the bed for her hubby. He comes into the bedroom all excited and they get down to it pretty damn sharpish.

At the end the wife says "But that was the same as we always do it, what happened to the carpenter position?"

The husband replies "Did you not see the pencil stuck behind my ear, woman?"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:44, Reply)

I wouldn't sa I LoL'd... But I smiled!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:51, Reply)

Well it is nearly 2 o' clock.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:52, Reply)

True

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:54, Reply)

OI!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:32, Reply)

Wouldn't you, in boiling water?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:36, Reply)

Begrudging yes.
0-1
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:46, Reply)

You learn quickly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:50, Reply)

I'm keeping schtum.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 2:04, Reply)

of course

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:25, Reply)

Have you spirographed an owl yet? I sincerely hope so.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:22, Reply)

i mostly go for more abstact things
a friend had a fancy spirograph, too, it had magnets and everything
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:26, Reply)

Fancy that! What do the magnets do?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:32, Reply)

hold it still
makes it marginally less frustrating
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:32, Reply)

But....drawing pins?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:33, Reply)

they leave holes
I just press down with my hands, I'm oldschool (and bought the 90s version)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:35, Reply)

Stick a guinea pig on it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:37, Reply)

guinea pig hamster on in
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:40, Reply)

Not dozer!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:41, Reply)

a hamster powered spirograph...interesting
/patents
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:41, Reply)

Hamster wheel + gearing = Profit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:47, Reply)

Profit

Dozer
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 2:05, Reply)

Are you dating Greggs Hat?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:23, Reply)

Gregg and his greasy paper bag

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:27, Reply)

Bebbeh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:28, Reply)

Clearly she isn't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:30, Reply)

Definitely for the best

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:36, Reply)

You heading west at any point?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:37, Reply)

Pretty free in October, could def come over for a sat?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:40, Reply)

We'll sort something out.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:42, Reply)

Hoorah

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 21 Sep 2013, 1:51, Reply)