people fart.
some people need to get the fuck over it. leaving the room in the middle of the night to be polite? fuck's sake. Maybe on a first date, but as soon as you accept the relationship is going somewhere, accept that both parties have bodily functions. Anything else is frankly repressed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:27, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

but......... it's gross!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:27, Reply)

no, it's not.
It's a perfectly normal bodily function.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:29, Reply)

you might as well expect someone to leave the bloody room to sneeze.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:30, Reply)

yeah, for the fartER
but what about the poor fartEE, stuck inhaling it? if there is a disproportion in the number of guffs per evening, and let's face it, how could there not be... it's not fair.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:31, Reply)

If your arse-trumpets are particularly vile smelling
it might indeed be polite not to subject other people to them

Otherwise, frankly, people need to grow the fuck up and stop being repressed little children.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:34, Reply)

just because it counts as foreplay in scotland

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:35, Reply)

I wouldn't know, I've never pulled anyone Scottish.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:35, Reply)

I once pulled an "Elva"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)

but presumably by having sex in scotland, that by nature makes it scottish sex?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)

needs MOAR IrnBru lube

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)

I'm pretty sure it doesn't
In the same way that having sex in a field isn't the same as fucking a sheep.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)

but it would still be outdoor sex
same way as you might not be scottish, but mini badger is. location is important.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:43, Reply)

If geographical location pre-defines type of sex
then you're screwed in Greece.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:45, Reply)

"we invented it"
as the owner of our local taverna says to me, repeatedly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)

fucking small boys in the arse? why yes, they did.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)

i think that's what he meant
despite protesting that he was totally straight
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:50, Reply)

This sounds like a fumble in a chip shop in the Grass Market

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I'm not sure there even is a chipper down there any more.
I dunno, I tend to avoid it like the plague. There's only so much sexual assualt from fat geordie hen dos you can handle.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:56, Reply)

so, two a week for you, then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)

It's what keeps my relationship with mrs tangle strong
Neither of us could be bothered to go through that pretending not to fart business with someone new.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:28, Reply)

^TGGI.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:29, Reply)

I take great pleasure in farting at the dog when she rests her head in my lap.
She has been known to wander off in disgust.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:34, Reply)

hahahaha!
I'm giggling away and having to hide behind my monitors, thanks
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Ha.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:37, Reply)

i knew farts would find a humour level with the men around here...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 10:39, Reply)

My dad used to blame the dog for HIS farts so often that it got to the point that if the dog heard someone drop one, it would get up and leave the room.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)