my socks never match
so this morning it was one red, one black with red spots.

but now i'm at my desk, so it's back to black (stockings)*

*amy winehouse's rejected first draft
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:41, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

They match if you pair them up, before AND after washing. TOP TIP

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:43, Reply)

fuck that
i have about 200 pairs of socks. i am fucked if i am going through my 3 sock drawers and matching them all. i never wear visible socks. and anyone who sees me lounging around the house in them can suck it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:45, Reply)

I imagine you are incredibly irritating.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Like a sandpaper sock

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Ahhh memories!
My parents hated me.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)

lightbulbs that need replacing
clocks that need changing
socks that need pairing

ain't nobody got time for that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)

If you had stayed as a man you could do all that shit for yourself.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)

I HAVE A MAN
he just doesn't do anything useful apart from snore and fart like the rest of them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)

*shrugs*
I don't care, really.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)

it's that go-get-em tiger attitude that made you the man you are today

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I'm a laid back guy with a relaxed attitude to life.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

laid back guy with a relaxed attitude to life twat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)

Sorry I'm too laid back and relaxed to reply.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

is this irony?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Sorry, I'm too laid back and relaxed for ironing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Yeah, I can't be arsed pairing mine either.
Although despite being different ages and brands, my socks appear to have entered in to some sort of suicide pact.

At this point I'll be bare foot by the time christmas comes around and I get some more in my stocking!
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)

if not
just shove both legs in the stocking and hop.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Couple of tesco bags and some rubber bands, sorted!
I have a mate who used to cycle to work in the pissing rain and he used to put sandwich bags over his socks.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Oh boy, you should write sitcom.
Imagine the japes you could from telling the story of spoiled Kensington singleton lawyer who struggles with her weight, bad dates and being ginger.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)

that was the first draft
we're thinking of adding a bloke who got a job as a nurse to legitimise his love of fingering other bloke's bums
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)