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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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what colour socks are you wearing?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:30, 154 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:31, Reply)
hey, I'm sardonically drawing attention to the banality of Off Topic through the medium of deliberately banal questions.
But seeing as you aren't as well read as me, that probably sailed way over your pretty little head.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Hey, I'm agressively drawing attention to the moribundity of off topic and how sardonic attempts to draw attention to its banality only contribute further to the lack of posters, through the medium of swearing.
But seeing as you aren't as thick as me, that probably passed over your strange little head.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)
most things do, I'm tiny

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Please kill yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:36, Reply)
after you've killed yourself with a smoking related disease on your daughter's tenth birthday.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:37, Reply)
You stupid cunt, that won't happen.
The booze'll get him long before that.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)
small mercies, eh?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)
I dunno, dying whispering, yellow and incontinent ain't fun.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:50, Reply)
For him, maybe
But we'll all have a jolly good chuckle
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Tggi

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Mirror

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:37, Reply)
mine are black with white and grey dots

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Mine are red with a sort of 'wintry' pattern in white, complete with 'stag' emblem.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)
sexy

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)
I know :)
That's why I wear 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:41, Reply)
so, fair isle knitting then

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:44, Reply)
dunno bruv

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Wank

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)
My Breaking Bad lunchbox is causing quite a stir
I was worried it was too waki, but my colleagues are enjoying it.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)
the ladies love your lunchbox, right?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:39, Reply)
It certainly brings the girls to the yard

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)
In answer to your previous question,
It's a testing job for a workplace services company. It's in London, but that's OK.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Aha
Have you had the interview yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Yup.
It was less of an interview and more a man telling me what the job entailed.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Fair enough
Think you got it?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Dunno.
There were 12 names on his piece of paper, and they're taking on 10 guys. So hopefully. I am extremely handsome in this suit, that ought to count for something.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)
They could always use more handsome electricians

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Would you want an ugly bloke crawling around under your desk?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Absolutely not
I like young Puerta Rican men
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Sí señor dos sombreros

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Vaya con dios, Pepé

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:17, Reply)
my socks never match
so this morning it was one red, one black with red spots.

but now i'm at my desk, so it's back to black (stockings)*

*amy winehouse's rejected first draft
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:41, Reply)
They match if you pair them up, before AND after washing. TOP TIP

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:43, Reply)
fuck that
i have about 200 pairs of socks. i am fucked if i am going through my 3 sock drawers and matching them all. i never wear visible socks. and anyone who sees me lounging around the house in them can suck it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I imagine you are incredibly irritating.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Like a sandpaper sock

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Ahhh memories!
My parents hated me.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)
lightbulbs that need replacing
clocks that need changing
socks that need pairing

ain't nobody got time for that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
If you had stayed as a man you could do all that shit for yourself.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I HAVE A MAN
he just doesn't do anything useful apart from snore and fart like the rest of them.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)
*shrugs*
I don't care, really.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)
it's that go-get-em tiger attitude that made you the man you are today

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)
I'm a laid back guy with a relaxed attitude to life.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

laid back guy with a relaxed attitude to life twat
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Sorry I'm too laid back and relaxed to reply.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)
is this irony?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)
Sorry, I'm too laid back and relaxed for ironing.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Yeah, I can't be arsed pairing mine either.
Although despite being different ages and brands, my socks appear to have entered in to some sort of suicide pact.

At this point I'll be bare foot by the time christmas comes around and I get some more in my stocking!
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)
if not
just shove both legs in the stocking and hop.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Couple of tesco bags and some rubber bands, sorted!
I have a mate who used to cycle to work in the pissing rain and he used to put sandwich bags over his socks.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Oh boy, you should write sitcom.
Imagine the japes you could from telling the story of spoiled Kensington singleton lawyer who struggles with her weight, bad dates and being ginger.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
that was the first draft
we're thinking of adding a bloke who got a job as a nurse to legitimise his love of fingering other bloke's bums
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Black.
Like your soul.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:42, Reply)
ah, GJ.
Putting the 'anal' into 'banal opinions'.

Alright?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Aye :)
Busy though. On a fuckin friday too.

Bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)
One black, one red and white striped.
Fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:46, Reply)
woah

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Wow.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Ho hum
What are we doing, Windy? I mean, what I we really doing? We're not grown-ups are we. What are we doing? What happens in the end? Who wins, who loses, who lives, who dies? WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT???
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Oh man
I've got the fear now
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Some people thrive on the "not knowing"
Not me, SC. Not me.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:53, Reply)
It's about ferreting for chutney.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:53, Reply)

ferreting for chutney MAMMOTH CHEESE
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I heard there's a guy can sell you the answer.
But I'm pretty sure the answer is buy more cool stuff and pretend you care about your job.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Hmm
I guess that might work. How long do I need to do that for?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Dunno, that's up to you really.
But do consider, we all love you.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:02, Reply)
That makes all the difference
Come to Portsmouth.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:04, Reply)

to Port in my
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)
An unorthodox canape
but no doubt delicious
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I will.
Bit skint at the moment with no job, but once I'm up and running, I'll drag the lady down for dinner or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Sweet
You can come and critique my new kitchen. Should be getting it put in next week. EXCITED.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)
We could bake some cookies in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)
I am sporting redwine/black socks today
as they were what came out of the sock drawer. Friday is dress down day in our office so jeans and t-shirt (as per)

Its now 10:45 and I still haven't had any fucking food.....grrr
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Nor me.
Starving.

I've got a home cooked lamb tagine and couscous for lunch though.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)
PUB LUNCH

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Dress down Friday.
Do you have any colleagues that sport a range of hilarious Tshirts?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I do indeed
For some reason I have a Marvel t-shirt on today. My kids picked it for me yesterday
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)
IF FOUND RETURN TO THE PUB!
I have to confess I did wear this to work once:
cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0154/1105/products/Life_is_meaningless_resize_large.jpg

I'm the ray of sunshine in this place.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
nice t-shirt

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I also have one that says 'Don't carry on like a rudeboy when daddy's got a yacht'.
Those are the only two 'comedy' tshirts I own.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)
awright Gormo
You a Weatherall fan?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Who?

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Andrew Weatherall

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)
I am that colleague
Today it's 'Biffco Enterprises' from the popular 80's movie, Back To The Future II.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I love those ones

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Me too
I have a Weyland-Yutani one.

Obscure enough that Mince won't know what it is and call me a ferret or "Weyland-Chutani".
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I had to Google that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)
^ DUMB ASS COLONIST

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)
*nukes from space, just to be sure*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)
ORBIT

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Oh bum

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)
*bums*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)
aww man, that'd be the straight dope fer the baysh!
giz a lend yeah?
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)
YEAH MAN

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I want a Los Pollos Hermanos one.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)
Yeah
I'm sporting my Breaking Bad lunchbox today. It has this picture on the front:
stories.illinoisstate.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Breaking-Bad.jpg
and "I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS" on the back.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)
404 dude.
Four. Oh. Four.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)
How embarrassing

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Well I feel sheepish

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
HEY LOOK EVERYBODY TWO HATS CAN'T WORK THE INTERNET
HAHAHAHAHA STUPID TWO HATS
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
It's ok, it happens to most men at some point in their lives.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
TV snow.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)
^Informer^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)
*licks a boom boom down*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

former a dress
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I haven't been to a black tie party in ages.
I always wear Simpsons sock at black tie events because I'm subversively wakki.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Owning wakki socks definitely singles you out as some sort of chode.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Isn't a chode a cock that's wider than it is long?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)
chode is a shite where I'm from

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)
No, it's a mythical creature that's half cheetah, half toad

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)
It hops at 60mph and is poisonous if you lick it?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1975140
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Well, I never.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Seems a bit rude, Windy.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Yeah, soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Just the one?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)
Yeah, I ain't some sort of revolutionary, drimble.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Simpsons clothing is like entry level wakki though. POOR SHOW!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)
I'm totally sporting a Family Guy Banana Brian tie clip.
And, get this, I'M NOT EVEN WEARING A TIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)
A friend of mine bought two pairs of personalised socks
One saying "Craig", the other "David", so that he had two pairs of "Craig David" socks.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)
haha
I quite like this
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)
My surname is also a common first name, so I could do it for myself
I never considered that before
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Jim John?
Joe Jeff?
Tim Tom?
Dave Dan?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Is that you, John Wayne?
Is this me?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:30, Reply)
It wouldn't work because your first name is an uncommon surname.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
Cottoneyed Joe?

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
No, my eyes are made of rage.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
cool yer boots joe youre a fucken teddy bear so you are

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
But surely that would only take him up to Tuesday?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
so im going with trainies, skinny jeans an a pepe le pew tshirt for the baysh
now, am i gonna need a coat d'you think? are denim jackets back in yet?

i ent worrying about the socks as my trainies will cover them
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Black of course
I'm a gentleman. Any other colour would just be for pooves and the common.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)

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