Good morning internet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:11, 117 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Well this is really good.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:27, Reply)

This place is turning into /talk

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:34, Reply)

turning into
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:50, Reply)

alright

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Alreet?
Been up most of the night with poorly daughter who has now miraculously recovered and is screaming blue murder about not going to school

JOY
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:44, Reply)

A lovely start to the week!
I have micro this afternoon & overnight - haven't seen her for a week as she has been in Edinburgh. Going to carve a pumpkin later & have a delayed Halloween.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Yep
Delayed Halloween sounds good. We were at the fireworks last night, which were excellent and also 5 mins walk away
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:51, Reply)

I think she's a bit young for fireworks - the noise would probably scare her.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:52, Reply)

Tell her to MTFU.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:00, Reply)

I also have a hangover
due to lack of sleep
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:05, Reply)

I've just had two bacon sandwiches.
^ fat cunt ^
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:06, Reply)

There's lunch sorted

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:09, Reply)

I would imagine beer also played a part.
Otherwise you'd just be tired.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Twas wine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:08, Reply)

The prosecution rests

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Alright Jeffers?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Not bad, just been for a blood test.
Will think about heading to work in a bit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Lovejoy is on at the moment.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:13, Reply)

I need to think about going to the office, not watching Lovejoy.
Out of interest, what episode is it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:15, Reply)

First one of the series when he comes back from Spain.
The end of the previous series he'd made a load of cash from Brian Blessed and fucked off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Curiosity got the better of me.
I have put the telly on.

But I'm busy preparing for work at the same time.

Multi-task-tastic!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:19, Reply)

morning batty boy,
why were you so aggrieved last night?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:02, Reply)

I just find certain people rather dull & irritating.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Everyone's dull and irritating in their own special and unique way.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:21, Reply)

:(

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Not you chap. Cavy.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:23, Reply)

And me! \o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:24, Reply)

there's about 5 of us left
for chrissake suck it up and be nice to her, before you make it 4.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Shut up.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:39, Reply)

you know that'll never work

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I might go back to sleep in a bit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

that'll be the most interesting you get, certainly

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I for one approve of the New Leader
Otherwise all that's left is a load of Napolean complex, self appointed judge, jury and executioner types, boring the arse off everyone about their monotonous kids, uninspired cooking, or injecting a unique brand of 'humour' by simply telling people to 'shut up' or 'fuck off', while claiming it's everyone else who is 'dull'.
Ah, hang on, I've gone wrong there somewhere.....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:42, Reply)

yeah
probably about the time that sperm penetrated the egg.

any other sperm would have been better. any of them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I hope Windy Pig stabs you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I hope Windy Pig stabs you. Fuck off
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:46, Reply)

heh
actually I just bothered to read your battered bashing post.

I kind of agree with it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I don't mean it though. It's the internet innit, it's all bullshit.
Especially everything you say, ginge.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:49, Reply)

i preferred you when you were depressed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:55, Reply)

:'('''''''''' Everything is rubbish!!
(Better?)
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:56, Reply)

doesn't sound genuine

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:56, Reply)

That's because I'm all better now. So you can SHUT UP and FUCK OFF. Thanks.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I HOPE SHE SHITS IN YOUR MOUTH AND THEN DUMPS YOU

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:58, Reply)

NO SHE HAS A GLASS COFFEE TABLE FOR SCAT FUN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

like you could really get a girlfriend
go back to wanking over the argos catalogue
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I fear I have already said too much.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

this is true of all your posts

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Fine I will kill myself then delete my account, as is tradition.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Fuck off Shut up.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:46, Reply)

i woke up almost screaming with a nightmare in the middle of the night
I dreamed that the French doors were opening and someone was coming through them. a tall figure dressed all in black, with a knife. and a woman behind him, also dressed in black. then I recognised the long flowing ginger locks, just as the figure said, "i'm windy pig, off the internet" and I woke up panicking.

SO THANKS FOR THAT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:35, Reply)

hahaha, fantastic.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:57, Reply)

humph
it was fucking terrifying!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:58, Reply)

next time i'm in london, i'm breaking in to your house.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:00, Reply)

oh good
you can take a look at my buzzing dimmer switches
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:02, Reply)

EUPHEMISM ALERT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:15, Reply)

they're probably just cheap, there'll be a buzz as the way they work is cutting the sine wave,
so it's basically turning the light on and off over and over again.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:16, Reply)

the previous guy said that the light fittings weren't meant to have dimmer switches
but some moron fitted the switches anyway. does that sound feasible?

the dude who had the flat before me fucked up lots of things. most notoriously, locating the fuse box BEHIND the dishwasher. when I replaced it, it took the poor electrician ages to find it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:17, Reply)

it shouldn't really matter,
but if they've been retrofitted there's a chance the back boxes are worng which causes the audible buzzing
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:26, Reply)

you can definitely break in and have a look
i'll give you beer and cake afterwards
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:28, Reply)

i do love beer and cake.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Good morning, you angry little man.
I'm so tired, I just tried to log in to b3ta with my work details.
Hang on, I'm not at work, am I?
*checks*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 9:49, Reply)