engrossed in new Bridget jones on crowded cunt tube
decide to change grip from stretching past cunts to vertical pole, to stretching past cunts to horizontal overhead pole. just as train lurches. do spakka dance, not assisted by curved sole ass toning trainers. have to be caught/ rescued by old cunt.

not a good start.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 8:58, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

have you bought any other books lately?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 8:59, Reply)

It's almost like she's trying to be a parody of herself.
Swipe, that is, not Bridget Jones.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:19, Reply)

no, i have a big basket on amazon that i am going to buy after my birthday, when i have a few days off

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:35, Reply)

asket on amazon that i am going to buy after my birthday, when i have a few days off um
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:36, Reply)

pfffft, i wish
I have a stupid bony boy's bum (the bloke likes to do the "flip you over and call you a 10 year old boy" hilarity).

can't you invent a medical procedure to transplant the unwanted fat from my boobs?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:37, Reply)

wait, so the new bloke's a gay paedo?
textbook.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:39, Reply)

hey, those are his best points

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I though all paedos were gay? I mean all gays are paedos aren't they?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Hmmm.
A quandry.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

well, you'd know

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I only know I'm straight because I don't fancy kids.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:45, Reply)

i think you're two steps away from microwaving a watermelon

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:46, Reply)

You'd consider it too if you could see the fucking mess I've been getting it on with.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:47, Reply)

frenetic masturbation as you try to coax your lowly cock back to life post SSRIs doesn't count
even if you are a fucking mess
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I am beautiful inside and out.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:50, Reply)

and
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:52, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:02, Reply)

fetch the bicycle pump

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:05, Reply)

This one will clearly end well.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

tenner says all your wife's friends think the same...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Did you see in the news the other day that curved sole ass toning shoes don't work

( Peej, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:25, Reply)

mine do
because I spent so much money on them, they made me start doing things like walking home, which is about 6 miles. I don't care if it's psychological!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Yeah, you don't have a massive fat arse, psychologically.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:38, Reply)

i don't
i like my bottom and my legs.

they need to invent tit/love handles toning trainers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:39, Reply)

it's a polite click from me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

"POTD"

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:42, Reply)

"engrossed" being employed in the same sentence as "new Bridget Jones (book)"
is one of the signs of the coming apocalypse, I'm pretty sure.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:34, Reply)

I was briefly engrossed in the first one
if you take "engrossed" to be "considering imaginative ways to kill the worthless whining bitch"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:40, Reply)

we've all had homicidal thoughts about swipe

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

like it or loathe it, helen fielding was the first to do it like she did
and made a bloody fortune out of it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I could be the first to have a wank backwards off a tractor whilst doing a headstand
Doesn't make it "worthwhile"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:47, Reply)

depends how you define "worthwhile"
if people enjoy it/it makes them laugh/it makes a lot of money.... those are all good reasons to do something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:48, Reply)

something making a lot of money alone
is not ever a "good" reason to so something.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:49, Reply)

i disagree with this, if nobody is harmed by it, blah blah
it was her job. fair play to her for writing it and doing well. and it made a lot of money for her agent/publisher/all the people who worked on the films... lots of employment there, so lots of people benefiting from it...

of course, it doesn't work as a sole motivation for everything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:52, Reply)

You can't make money without harming someone else.
because - here's the clever thing - there's only a finite amount of money. So you aren't making it, what you are doing is taking it off someone else. And taking money off people to perpetuate Bridget Jones is basically a criminal atrocity.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:57, Reply)

just because I am a prick
quantitative easing... stops there being a finite amount of money
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Shut up, you're not my real dad.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:09, Reply)

He may be
along with many others.....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Go to your room!!!

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:16, Reply)

I am going to vote for Loathe

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I'm always surprised that she's published by Picador.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Is that a pokemon?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:42, Reply)

no, it's a pretension

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:43, Reply)

me too
i mean, she didn't sell any copies at all, so therefore made them no money. and money isn't the point of publishing at all, because it isn't a business like any other business.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I mean that they generally publish literary fiction rather than chicktion

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:46, Reply)

i know
so imagine this, right, you get this popular column, and the possibility of publishing it in book form, and it's clearly going to be a best seller and make a lot of money, but it's just not quite right genre. so you'll let penguin have this one, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I know
who would have thought that mounted bull fighting would have such a diverse range
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I'm reading Draclier at the moment.
It's difficult to get Keanu bloody Reeve's voice out of my head when doing so, though.

"I kneow whare the barstard slips!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 9:58, Reply)

ah, Dracula, literary masterpiece but shockingly written.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)