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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Oh go on then
Not only am I terrible drunk, I'm also a junkie.
How low can you go?
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:01,
93 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Death row?
What a brother know! Once again back is the incredible!
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:03,
Reply)
and I'll tell you how i became teh prince of bel air
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
Help tha police! Help help help tha police!
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:08,
Reply)
It's lovely to see you're still alive Monty.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:03,
Reply)
The difference is that I have the will and motivation to carry on
And that I'm taking the piss a bit.
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
Are we talking limbo here?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
If you wish
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:07,
Reply)
I do not at this stage in proceedings.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:12,
Reply)
I understand and respect your wish
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:14,
Reply)
I thank you for your fair and just adjudication.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:15,
Reply)
I am an indepedent and impartial observer of this board
D'you know - I wrote that as fun but actually I am!
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:17,
Reply)
I think everyone thinks they are above it but joining in to help those less fortunate.
Turns out we are all shitcunts and losers.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
Not a bad assessment
I'm better than engaging with some of our friends, but prepared to accept that some of our other friends are perfectly acceptable.
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:32,
Reply)
I completely agree with your subtext, Dozer *is* a prick, but an alright one.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
I'm top three in the 'best ones here' list.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
I'll let you say it Dozer - a bit of kudos. People off b3ta you've met.
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
I've met several.
It's just a meme.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
On the fingers of how many hands?
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
two.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
You used to think Phudbree was my sockpuppet, ye dippit fucken bam
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
You dropped this
n
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:21,
Reply)
I did.
Thank you for finding it.
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:27,
Reply)
Batterd's mum
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:07,
Reply)
He never talks to her so he'd not have a clue anyway.
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:09,
Reply)
she's always got her mouth full to be fair
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:10,
Reply)
I had sex with a number of elderly or dead women in order to taunt their kids about it on the internet
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:08,
Reply)
You'll be OK - nobody checks b3ta anyway
Keep it up.
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:11,
Reply)
I'm not a terrible drunk. I'm really good at it.
How low can I go? Under a Jack Russells's bollocks with a top hat on. Doing the can-can. On stilts.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:09,
Reply)
i'd drink heavily as well if i wrote posts like this
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:11,
Reply)
You know when you openly and uninvitedly discuss your shaven nads?
It's really fucking creepy.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:12,
Reply)
Hope so!
Edit.
Not so much a discussion as an announcement. Genital topiary was the discussion topic of last night, in the bar of a hotel in Durham with some sales types and computer geeks - some of whom were actually female!
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:12,
Reply)
Followed up by a slightly creepy reply.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:13,
Reply)
We were discussing favourite biscuits in the pub last night.
It was like OT, with alcohol and a log fire.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:16,
Reply)
what, BO, autism and dead people?
Nice.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:17,
Reply)
Hobnobs topped the list I seem to remember.
Although Jaffa cakes were being discussed rather robustly.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:21,
Reply)
Jaffa Cakes aren't biscuits.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:21,
Reply)
They're called cakes, but are really biscuits.
It was discussed in the PUB! It is right therefore. Pedantic twat.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:24,
Reply)
No, they are called cakes and are cakes.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
Although Wikipedia agrees with you.
Hmmm...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_Cakes
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:27,
Reply)
They had to prove to HMRC that they were cakes so that they could retain their VAT status.
Cool story zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:28,
Reply)
^^this^^
The distinction is easy. A cake goes hard and dry when it's stale. A biscuit goes soggy and soft when it's stale. Ergo a Jaffa cake is NOT a biscuit.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
So fucking boring and full of cunts as the best ones had gone home, with alcohol and a log fire?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:18,
Reply)
I ent received that package yet.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:20,
Reply)
Haven't you? Fucking city link are the bane of my life this week. I will chase it up tomorrow. Fucking cunts that was about a week ago!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:22,
Reply)
oooh, what are you sending him?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:23,
Reply)
A photo of you from linkedin covered in my semen.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:24,
Reply)
Brown Paper Bag and Circles, so I can mix them like every fucken cunt was doing in 1997.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:24,
Reply)
edgy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
Nah, Hey Jack and Kick a Hole.
So I can mix them like every fucken cunt was doing in 2002.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:27,
Reply)
No it's two copies of the Edwin birdsong cola bottle baby so you can mix and cut the instrumental bits and make that daft punk track.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:29,
Reply)
No it's Root Down and Get It by Jimmy Smith.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:31,
Reply)
No, it's I gotcha by joe tex actually
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:34,
Reply)
No, it's 'Lyric on My Lip' by MC Tali.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
No, it's airport by the motors
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
No, it's 'Walk Away' by Cast.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
No, it's place your hands by reef
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:39,
Reply)
Jesus man, that's harsh.
No, it's all of Be Here Now by Oasis.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
You've mentioned it many more times than just last night.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:15,
Reply)
Oddly enough...
I wasn't the one to bring it up as a topic of conversation last night
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
I was specifically referring to you bringing it up on here.
Nowhere else, thankfully I don't drink in the same establishments as you.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:51,
Reply)
The Lumineers are on telly.
They sound just like Mumford and Sons.
Who are fucking shit. Why would you actively aim to sound just like a band which is fucking shit? At least when Arcade Fire were openly ripping off A Silver Mt Zion it was just about excusable.
Fucking wankers.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:15,
Reply)
no one cares
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
:'(
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:20,
Reply)
Wham Rap!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsyHQgiem8c
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:15,
Reply)
Why did you do that?
(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
I'm a pub man, I'm a club man...
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:57,
Reply)
i am a larper who dressed as a tramp and ate a squirrel
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:29,
Reply)
ar e
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:30,
Reply)
What's it feel like being beyond help?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
Thing is Froggsy, she has that little self-esteem that she is actually proud of being a larper.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
Not being funny pal, but you have a fucking hamster.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
Hamsters are great pets, what can I say?
I also have an active social life and offline friends.
And have never been dumped on Valentine's Day.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
I had a hamster, too
you are just like me
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
Well, I'm the same species and race as you, that's about it.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:45,
Reply)
I don't do the White Knight or Pandertron thing
But if you seriously think you've more entitlement to air than Cavy you're getting BADLY deluded, pal.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
I'm making no judgement on entitlement to air.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:51,
Reply)
Dozer is pretty black and white between being funny and being a cunt. Absolutely no in between.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
Oh baby you're the only person that understands me xx
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
where as I am a great philanthopist
and witty orator of great standing in the community
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:55,
Reply)
It's a click from me!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
Well, no, but okay.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:05,
Reply)
I think she means 'philanthropist'.
Either that or she's started collecting stamps.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:06,
Reply)
Yes I gathered that, but given the amount of editing I do of my posts because of auto correct, fat fingers or me being a thick, poorly educated idiot
I am in no place to comment on these errors.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:08,
Reply)
yer innit bruv, listening to house now, dunt care how fick you are soz xx
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:09,
Reply)
Sweet as m8 I'm goin naw n e way l8rs
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:10,
Reply)
Well that's been diffused.
Now y'all play nicely because I'm not going to be here for several days.
Night. x
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:07,
Reply)
L8rs TD
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:09,
Reply)
I know mate, I can't help but think it's quite 'nice' you have a little pet.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
She's totes cute with her little pink nose, silvery fur and tiny stubby tail xx
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
She sounds alright, you sound bent.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
She is; I am.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
if you're at the bottom you might as well relish it
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
Fair play. As long as your happy eh?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:45,
Reply)
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