Many thanks to Battered for getting me to register with Mumsnet, had an entertaining few sessions on there.
This isn't me by the way, honest.
metro.co.uk/2014/01/11/mumsnet-sheffield-guy-looking-for-sex-angers-hundreds-of-women-4258404/
What b3tan do you want to thank and buy a beer for?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 10:36, 52 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

If anyone arranged a Midlands bash and the London-centric actually came outside the M25 to it, I'd buy quite a few people a beer
Wouldn't thank anyone though, you're all cunts.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 10:47, Reply)

yeah, this one time i went outside the M25
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Mum?

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:55, Reply)

I like this.
It would be funny if mumsnet got swamped with such requests.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Start of a plan...

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 11:02, Reply)

no one. none of you pigs and cretins deserve anything from me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 11:16, Reply)

Hello Frog, you're the best.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 11:57, Reply)

im in the upper echelons sure, but the best is probably an overstatement. mind you I am modest.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)

No you really are.
Xx.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Oh okay then, thanks! X

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:38, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 11:34, Reply)

You're second best.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 11:58, Reply)

if you're number one, the only way is down.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Haha, I was just came here to post this exact same post.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:05, Reply)

Yeah, wish I'd have thought of it.
I'll think up something though...
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:11, Reply)

It's _very_ witty.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)

I'd like to thank stibbins for consistently starting the best threads.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Where *is* he?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:39, Reply)

I always thought you and stibbins were the same person
Except your stibbins account is a lot funnier.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:48, Reply)

No, I'm not Stibbins sadly. I can only hope to one day reach the dizzying heights of his legendary status.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:50, Reply)

you had Stibbins's cock in your mouth

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:55, Reply)

You had sculptureofman's cock in yours.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 12:57, Reply)

you had Gay Jason's thumb up your poop chute

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:13, Reply)

You're 34 and a lonely virgin.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)

Sounds as if you both are.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:20, Reply)

Nah I'm younger than him.
Plus, that's a bit rich coming from the man pretending to be a doctor, but with apparently minimal medical knowledge, and an imaginary wife and family.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:22, Reply)

I have a minimal family.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:27, Reply)

How refreshingly contemporary!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Battered definitely does.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 14:23, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1773038
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:50, Reply)

Spotify suggested Pendulum :'(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 13:52, Reply)

your taste in music is tbe worst parts of Darth's taste with the worst of Chompy's thrown in to the mix.
Did you get that Bonnie Prince Billy album then?

Raining in Darling is reason enough on its own.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 14:09, Reply)

I got 'Greatest Palace Music' for a start. It's nice.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 14:19, Reply)

it's alright
I very much love I See a Darkness.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 15:26, Reply)

35? Rick Fathelme is fooling no-one there.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 14:22, Reply)

I think I've been rumbled.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1963900-Anal-sex
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 15:42, Reply)

anyone who has ever made me aware of my crimes against punctuation.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)

^up'set^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:41, Reply)

fine, I shall take thy drink back!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:41, Reply)

Thine

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:45, Reply)

"Leave thy drink and thy whore"
Straight from King Lear, bitch!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:46, Reply)

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:49, Reply)

is this another homophbic thing?
Maybe we are both right. That Willy Shake a Spear surely knew his oats.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

No Jason, I was merely being pedantic.
I'm not really homophobic, I'm seeing two filthy queers tonight, I will be pleasant and accepting of their relationship, and treat them as I believe benders should be treated, no different from anyone else, IRL. It's just web faggots I find abhorrent.

Plus *homophobic
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:56, Reply)

give my love to Monty and Battered when you see them

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 17:06, Reply)

There's no way monty is preened enough to be gay. Plus, dead innit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 17:10, Reply)

soz, I didn't think
It's Stunned and Battered innit. Battered loves going sub for Stunned.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 17:14, Reply)

I can't believe they have a link to an ovulation calendar on there...
I find it strange how women can hop on others cycles. It's weird and witchery, make no mistake.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:41, Reply)

Strange creatures.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:43, Reply)

Some bastard hopped on my cycle and rode it away once
I'd only left it for five minutes while I went to the shop for a Galaxy.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

It's a sad metaphor for society these days :(

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:53, Reply)

So are most things

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 11 Jan 2014, 16:57, Reply)