1) make sure you buy floury potato rather than waxy ones
2)add melted butter and a splash of milk to the pan prior to adding the spuds
3) ensure the spuds are as dry as possibly prior to putting them back in the pan
4) once you have been through them with the masher get a wooden spoon and beat them.

should get lumps out
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:31, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Think point 1 is likely where I go wrong
I mainly just buy whatever potatoes are there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:33, Reply)

Larger types like Maris Piper or Kind Edward for mashing and roasting
Smaller types like Charlotte for boiling
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)

although with a ricer you can get decent results from Charlottes

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Well I dare say if you dropped a grand piano from a 3rd floor window they'd probably mash up alright as well

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:42, Reply)

point 3 is important too
if there is too much water left on/in the boiled spuds you end up with wallpaper paste
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)

In order
1) yes
2) what?
3) see above
4) what?

Here's what you do

1) boil spuds
2) drain spuds
3) add butter and a splash of milk
4) mash the fuckers

It's really not difficult at all. The wrist action during mashing is quite important though...down and twist.

Strikethrough coming in 3,2,1...
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:35, Reply)

see above for point 3 explaination
if you heat the butter and milk prior to adding the spuds you get a smoother mixture,
the spoon bit at the end is an optional extra.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:38, Reply)

I can't say I have a problem with lumpy mash
So I don't see the need to over-complicate it for the poor lad.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)