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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'll do one then, eh?
Why? Because I've been on here for years and I feel entitled to.

When did you last assert a degree of authority? Are you authorised to assert a degree of authority - even if, like mine, it's self assumed?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:28, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I bollocked my boss for fucking stuff up when I had two days off last week. Does that count?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:29, Reply)
Absolutely
I commend you and will spend a lot of time tracking your details down to send a letter to your boss.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:32, Reply)
I will just gaz you my super secret identity to Dave you the bother if you like.
Also, that was meant to say 'save' but good old auto correct went and put my real name in, so you are halfway there without even trying.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:37, Reply)
So you're Dave, can you make some improvements to your TV channel
don't take this personal or anything but it is rather shit, just saying
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:38, Reply)
Point taken, it hasn't exactly turned out like the vision I had intended it to be, sozzles Harters

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:39, Reply)
But it's got Bestest Police Chase ever on.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:42, Reply)
Well at least I got that bit right, and back to back editions of QI

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:43, Reply)
I thought it was all top gear and storage wars nowadays

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:43, Reply)
Eve's TD
Ent you been warned about your Stalking before??
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:37, Reply)
No...
Do you think there might be something I should know about?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:40, Reply)
In all likelyhood I would think that there is probably quite a few things that you should be aware of
I just don't know what they are
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:43, Reply)
I know a lot of things
But I don't know a lot of other things.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:44, Reply)
I used to regulary
I used to tell off my old boss all the time but then again he was thicker than Nakers
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:40, Reply)
I also did this in my previous employment, also a bit of a spazzo, he was pretty much the reasoning for the company going down the pan.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:42, Reply)
He was a good guy, great at certain things but he regularly put his foot in it
one of my biggest fears was him speaking to any of my customers when ever I was off
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:45, Reply)
I worked - briefly - for a bloke who would spend 95p to make 5p
Sounds the same.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:46, Reply)
His Business acumen was very good, just his social skills that sucked

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)
Did we work at the same place? This chap at my place was a nice enough person, but completely incompetent business wise, owners son made director, could do no wrong.....
...at least until the insolvency reports came out ;)
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:47, Reply)
Did you get a load off people turn up at your place of work last Sept. lock the gates and then fuck off
with your company car? if so quite possibly.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:50, Reply)
No, I got a 'we have to shut down' one Friday morning, 'you'll get redundancy pay in a few weeks' - court case and 8 months later a couple of grand off the government after ten years. Great stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:53, Reply)
I feel you Brah, I really do

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:54, Reply)
Onwards and, well, not upwards, but sideways I suppose, maybe downwards and sideways :(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:55, Reply)
It's like a real life game of "snakes and ladders"
and there is always another roll of the dice
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:56, Reply)
I genuinely admire your 'glass half full' attitude, I should try it out one day!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:59, Reply)
Yeah cheer up you miserable prick

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
^ What he said ^

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:11, Reply)
Hello new person, welcome.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:12, Reply)
Long time lurker, etc
Hi Mr frog, I hope we can become forum friends :)
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)
Oh boy so do I mister, that sure would be swell!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:17, Reply)
actually I'm a girl

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:22, Reply)
A fucking ugly one.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:47, Reply)
Never put you off before

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)
Well, none of my women have looked like a homeless untreated final stage aids victim with a silly beard, so, yes it has.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)
ZING x2

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)
Somewhere in the back of these archives
Is the post I made one Sunday afternoon when I discovered that I had to make 270 of 300 staff redundant.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:00, Reply)
"I've locked you all in the boardroom so you can't get me"?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:04, Reply)
I've had to make people redundant and all, it's fucking shit
Glad I got the fuck out of management
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:07, Reply)
Thread because I'm nosey...
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post479215

That must have been quite deflating and a horrible task to undertake.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:08, Reply)
So, you're now the second bollockhead on /OT.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)
I started the bollockheading, you can't turn it back on me, that's not fair.
(Glad you got to see your daughter btw)
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:51, Reply)
Thanks deputy bollockhead.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:52, Reply)
Aww man, unfair.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:53, Reply)
Trying to work out if that makes you a single bollock or two Dozer sized.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:04, Reply)
Actually, I have unfeasibly large testicles

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:04, Reply)
something something large feet

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:08, Reply)
Probably cancer.
* Hopes *
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
*hopes it's too late for treatment*

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:12, Reply)
^ this

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:14, Reply)
Perhaps he'll just lose the left one, rendering him 'all right'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)
hahaha I like this

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:18, Reply)
more vicious bullying
No wonder everyone's leaving :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:20, Reply)
I know it's terrible, that is why I turned a new leaf and am now lovelyping to every one

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:22, Reply)
get fucked

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:23, Reply)
Wow your hair looks great today have you done something new with it?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:24, Reply)
hidden it under a baseball cap

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:25, Reply)
like that austrian bloke

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:18, Reply)
Arnie?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:20, Reply)
nearly

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:22, Reply)
I'm sure you'll find an answer, and glad you seem to have cheered up a bit, even if it's at my bollockheaded expense.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:09, Reply)
Thanks deputy bollockhead.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
Fuck off, cunt
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:11, Reply)
Don't be stupid, I'm the most introverted person you'll never meet

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:44, Reply)
alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:46, Reply)
alright PD

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:51, Reply)
alright HH

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 20:58, Reply)
Darling I'm marvelous, you?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:09, Reply)
In my role as 'dad' I regularly have to assert a degree of authority
I have a stern voice for it and everything
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:07, Reply)
YM sure loves it when you do that

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:08, Reply)
She's very proud of me, yes

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
Good luck with that then when they turn into surly teenagers

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)
He can hardly tell them off for taking drugs can he

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:47, Reply)
I can confiscate them though

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)
I feel sorry for crack babies :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)

sorry for
+ on the cunt
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:53, Reply)
The deviant

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)
Alright gay lordlings?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:37, Reply)
You never ask how I am :(

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:41, Reply)
I just did you gay lordling

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:46, Reply)
NO YOUN ARE

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)
No, you didn't do a train thread and I was sad.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:43, Reply)
Wfh today soz
I went to a garden centre instead
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:46, Reply)
Oh, well, that's alright then, but please let me know in future.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:47, Reply)
Every Wednesday bruv

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)
I have set reminders.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:52, Reply)
Uphill one I bet

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)
It was on a hill...
I got some advice on planting my veggie patch
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)
hahhahahhahaha

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)
Two petit pois and a baby carrot, was it?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:52, Reply)
He's hiring a spade to do it

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:54, Reply)
Fuckin pumpkins and and marrow darlin

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:56, Reply)
American Pie: Farmers Edition

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:59, Reply)
Did you give up on Melons after the microwave burns?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:59, Reply)
I'M SO ILL
Where's that baby???

Just got home after working late. Watching secret eaters. Fuck some people are thick.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:48, Reply)
Still wedged in, might be induced next week depending on some tests

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:49, Reply)
Frog has a plunger

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:51, Reply)
No I don't

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:53, Reply)
Call yourself a plumber?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:56, Reply)
NO I FUCKING DONT

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:56, Reply)
Oh

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:02, Reply)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:04, Reply)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:06, Reply)
You might want him to stay about from your pipes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:05, Reply)
Which pipes?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:06, Reply)
Your trout canal

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:09, Reply)
I was thinking more Piper Alpha, although I bet her burning wreckage has claimed more than 167 lives

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:17, Reply)
Just refuse to be ill, it works for me :)

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:50, Reply)
Too late
I hate colds. So minor, so make you feel like you've been beaten with a baseball bat
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:52, Reply)
I have re-used the word Lovelyping tonight, I'm really not sure it is a good thing

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:54, Reply)
I think we all know the answer to this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:55, Reply)
Yeah, well you're ill and premenstal so your view doesn't count

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:57, Reply)
According to Rory I'm post menopausal

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:02, Reply)
Well most just like to think of you as a FUCKING MESS, just saying

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:03, Reply)
A hot mess more like

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:06, Reply)
It's no fun if you dont bite :(

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:08, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2235554
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:09, Reply)
\o/
wait I should read the rest of the thread first
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:10, Reply)
I was flattered, but I do call my cock 'Ping'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 21:57, Reply)
Was you stalking when that word was used?
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=Lovelyping
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:00, Reply)
It rung a bell but I dunt get it

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:03, Reply)
TTJ

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:04, Reply)
+u
HONK
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:01, Reply)
alright BraynDedd

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:03, Reply)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:06, Reply)
BraynDedd has a fixation with posting pics and gifs of Pingu

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:07, Reply)
Yey for him

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 22:09, Reply)
Back from dinner and a comedy night!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Mar 2014, 23:48, Reply)

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