*ring ring*
"Hello?"
"Hello, my name is Salesy McBullshitter, I'd like to speak to whoever it is that handles your internal recruiting."
"Hello, Mr McBullshitter, we're one of the largest recruitment companies in the world. Which one of our 1700 UK recruitment staff would most suit your needs?"
*click* *brrrrrr*
( Kroney, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:31, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

He rang me earlier, I think

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:34, Reply)

It's fun being in a company this size.
Another favourite is

"Can I ask who provides your printers and supplies?"
"Xerox"
"No, I mean who supplies them to you."
"Xerox"
*click*
( Kroney, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)

SUPPLIES!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)

I dunno, you'll have to speak to someone in procurements.
"Can you put me through to someone in procurements"
"No... as far as I'm concerned this stuff just appears"
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:39, Reply)

One of them got really fucking shitty with me once, started having a go at me and telling me he'd complain to my boss.
I said "Sure thing, mate, but I'm still not giving you his contact details."
( Kroney, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:41, Reply)

My mate just spoke to a chugger in Sunderland
Oxfam collecting for water stuff in Africa. With a bucket. In the rain

She walks up to him, shaking the bucket. He just looks up until she does, then says "Keep up the good work" and walks off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:43, Reply)

I used to get calls from media agencies trying to sell me advertising space. One used to call every Thursday.
Eventually I told them to fuck off & put the phone down. They immediately phoned my boss, who told them to fuck off & also put the phone down.

They still called back the following week.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:43, Reply)

One of these twats has been calling twice a day for a week.
Every single time I pick up, tell her that no, she can't speak to him and to email the enquiries address. Every time she says "That's ok, I'll email him directly" we say goodbye.

12 times so far, each time the same conversation. Each time she pretends we haven't had it before.
( Kroney, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:46, Reply)

Have you considered putting on different voices

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 29 May 2014, 16:00, Reply)

Gid moaning?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 16:05, Reply)

*hears a shit*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 29 May 2014, 16:11, Reply)

or just telling her to fuck off.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 29 May 2014, 16:05, Reply)

I am surprised he hasnt surrendered to her charms

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 29 May 2014, 16:10, Reply)

I used to like telling them that they were out of the office, but offering them a mobile number.
This would generally be for a sex worker, obtained from the local free press.
( Muns, Thu 29 May 2014, 16:12, Reply)

With a name like that he really chose the wrong profession, didn't he

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:35, Reply)

Should have been a firefighter, or sutin

( Kroney, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)

hahahaha!
Proper officelol
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)