I have a kit kat and 90 minutes left at work.
What do you have?

You can't say 'Dozer'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 10:31, 74 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I have a hangover frog :(( I wouldn't have dozer if he was gilded and dressed as a kebab

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Gutted

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 10:55, Reply)

Nude gutting?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:02, Reply)

A hangover and a sticky hand.

(Mr Udagawa, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Usual morning shit?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:09, Reply)

As a compulsive and prolific wanker it really isn't unusual to have a sticky hand.

(Mr Udagawa, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:11, Reply)

A new coat
Which, going back over my emails, I bought at 3:30 on Tuesday morning. I have no recollection of doing this so it was a nice surprise when it arrived just now.
(berk, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:08, Reply)

I say, what a treat! I need a coat, I can never find a nice coat :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:10, Reply)

I gave my last winter coat to a homeless person
So I needed a new one. I just don't remember buying it...
(berk, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:13, Reply)

Maybe someone heard what you did and ordered it for you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I gave two coats to that homeless coat collection charity and no one ordered me one :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:21, Reply)

No, I did buy it
I've got the confirmation email.
(berk, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:23, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Yer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:38, Reply)

A lie in, a cooked breakfast and a couple of noisy children, who are *just* about tolerable

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Can't you tell kids to shut the fuck up anymore? Broken Britain.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:39, Reply)

You can, but they're making happy noises at the moment
Which are just slightly less irritating than the unhappy noises they will make if I do.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:47, Reply)

I can't tell the difference

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Of course you can't
Other people's children are utterly unbearable under all circumstances.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:21, Reply)

coffee and a mental breakdown on the horizon.

( wanderlust, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Please ensure it happens online
Thanks
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:48, Reply)

The mental breakdown I mean, not the coffee

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:48, Reply)

You just want me to flounce :(

( wanderlust, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:50, Reply)

I don't, but if you're going to, I'd like to see it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Respect

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:51, Reply)

If I don't make it through the week you can have first dibs on my stuff x

( wanderlust, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:53, Reply)

I just want money and any available credit please

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:53, Reply)

Can't help you there, soz.

( wanderlust, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Jew

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:05, Reply)

*there there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:16, Reply)

I've got you, under my skin,
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me
I've got you under my skin
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:08, Reply)

So beautiful and so true

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:24, Reply)

scabies?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 13:11, Reply)

Ringworm?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:06, Reply)

I'm off to football
But not until I've been for a greasy breakfast and had a few pints.

Livin' the dream.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:11, Reply)

Who you watching?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Bristol City.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:44, Reply)

We have to stocktake the kitchen today, itemise the grub left, and our new chef is moving her shit in. Feel a bit rough.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 12:34, Reply)

About an hour to kill before heading to the pub.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:07, Reply)

alright stuj

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:11, Reply)

Knackered.
Been gardening all morning.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:18, Reply)

I'm going to a wedding at 4.
Second one in 3 days; this week's costing a fucking fortune.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Bigamist.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:47, Reply)

It's not me getting married.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 16 Aug 2014, 14:48, Reply)

Mary Anne Hobbs is broadcasting a classical show on BBC Radio 3.
I know your tastes mellow as you age, but fucking hell.

Also, this makes me feel old.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 16 Aug 2014, 15:04, Reply)