I went to court as an expert witness a couple of times
they asked me to confirm a couple of things that a bright seven year old should have known and then instructed the jury not to bother trying to understand but just to take my word for it as an expert

It was like the anti-science. :(
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:35, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

you'd have been ripped to shreds by a decent barrister in a civil case
anyone who's too sure of themselves always comes across looking like a right twat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)

yerr ... obvs ... thickoid

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:37, Reply)

it'd be like watching a giant balloon get popped

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)

they were both criminal trials, not some dreary tiff about property and contracts, love

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Well quite
Hence the jury, you colossal bellend.

So property is dreary but science isn't? Riiiiight, ok then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)

Science most definitely isn't dreary.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:02, Reply)

Yeah, scientists are renowned for their cool

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:03, Reply)

That Brian Cox
he's so dreamy
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Scientists have put man on the moon
that is fucking cool
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Where is battered when we needs him!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

yes ... property is dreary as fuck and science is one of humanity's greatest and most exciting achievements
seriously, love, this isn't even an argument
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

hahahahahahah

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

somebody should front page this
nobody is ever going to say anything more dumb on here
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Apart from every single time you bash your keyboard, you god complexed weirdo

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)

being less ignorant than you doesn't make me a God
Pretty much anybody with a proper degree will be less ignorant than you.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Where is your degree from again?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Glasgow, Birmingham, St Andrews and Leuven.

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:16, Reply)

+ everbodys talkin bout cunts moving

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:18, Reply)

5 hours late I know
click
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 16:47, Reply)

Didn't manage to make it into Oxbridge despite 4 attempts?
Oh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I got an offer from Cambridge.
Soz.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Yeah and you chose.... Birmingham
Your story totes checks out mr smelly oak
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Smelly oak?
Enough with the insults Gonz
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Some of my friends went to Birmingham
None of them by choice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Oh yeah lol.
I've met loads of people from second-rate mediocre universities who claim they 'got offers' from oxbridge but turned them down. I'm surprised anybody goes there at all.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)

But did they all move there afterwards like some spurned stalking lover?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Seriously swipey, I loves you loads and you give a great gobjob but you are so wrong here.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)

Shush I like seeing him get all righteous and pricktastic about his precious Bunsen burners

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Yes but you lost when you started the "University Snobbery" bit.

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:36, Reply)

I didn't get into oxford
No snobbery on my part. I just enjoy watching dr second rate try to justify his belief that he is REALLY CLEVER REALLY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)

are you lying on linkdin?
ON THE INTERNET!
( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:46, Reply)

Ah no, that was the masters, the BA is from KCL
I just hope everyone who sees it assumes it's in something useful and never questions it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:50, Reply)

KCL eh? My retarded cousin went to KCL

( Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:51, Reply)

I wouldn't recommend it
Good uni, but it's not a good student lifestyle. You're just living in London with no money. My friends at Oxbridge and manchester and brizzle and Nottingham had a better time of parties etc I think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:57, Reply)

I did the 'expert witness' thing twice
In the first one the defence barrister was a bit of a dick but the evidence was irrefutable. All I did was present it. Second one I didn't even get questioned, just gave the evidence, got thanked by the judge and pocketed the fee - sweet!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)

it's money for old rope but it's a pretty grin indictment of the legal profession

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

The one where I was a prosecution witness had two barristers who were called.....wait for it
....Holmes and Watson. I had a serious face straightness problem.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:44, Reply)

You liked prosecuting the Holmes case?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

There's no case like it

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

i enjoy watching some experts squirm under cross-examination
the ones who do well are the ones who show they have taken everything into account and formed a reasoned opinion. the ones who are blindly convinced of their own infallibility come across as utter failures.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)