someone on the train today was eating a banana
slapping and slopping with every chew and making nyom nyom nyom noises the repellant fuck. then he ate a packet of crisps. prawn cocktail. i hope today improves
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 8:43, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

take the car

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 8:55, Reply)

Don't be silly.
They won't allow him on a train with a car.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 8:57, Reply)

he clearly hasn't thought this through has he?

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:05, Reply)

I've taken my car on the train several times.

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:07, Reply)

Oh yeah, there is that train

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:12, Reply)

I bet you feel a right noodlehead now

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:22, Reply)

I dunno, I feel as though I've let everyone down by not insisting that you are wrong and then having a protracted argument about it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:24, Reply)

this place would be dead on its arse without people having protracted arguments about unimportant things that they don't care about

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:26, Reply)

I took my car on a boat.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)

YOU FUCKING LIAR

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:56, Reply)

No. Way.

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 10:06, Reply)

I shared a tram once
with a guy who slurped a mouthful from his Coke can and gargled with it noisily every ten seconds or so. The entire carriage was laughing at him and he appeared completely oblivious to it.
( .Yeti., Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:12, Reply)

I once got a blow job on the bus
I know that has nothing to do with this story but I like to tell people
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:16, Reply)

+ only £5 boss

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:16, Reply)

Did you go over a bump and trigger his gag reflex?

( .Yeti., Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:19, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:20, Reply)

I once got a blowjob from unidentical twin sisters
but needless to say no-one believes me.
( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:21, Reply)

I believe you peej

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:32, Reply)

Thanks B-dawg, you're a true gent

( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:33, Reply)

+ my

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:39, Reply)

What where your twin sisters doing in Cornwall?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:42, Reply)

using PJs cock to get bits of carrot out of their teeth

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 11:00, Reply)

surely that's 2 blowjobs?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:45, Reply)

Hmmmm interesting
Does a threesome count as two shags? I've never really thought about it. I've always thought of it as one blowjob with two girls helping each other out with the task in hand.
( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:48, Reply)

If you get a blow job from that women who had a face transplant would that count as a thressome?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)

Yes
Same as fucking a tranny is a MMF threesome
( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:51, Reply)

well, depends how you define a blow job.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:49, Reply)

i'm kind of thinking they'd have to take turns, because let's face it, no way is it big enough to have two of them at it at once

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)

^Experienced

( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:51, Reply)

well, yeah, but if you only spit out your gooey man water once, surely that's just one blow job with 2 helpers.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)

^this

( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)

but do you have to spit that out for it to count?
i'd say it's more like two blowjobs racing to the finish line
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)

The wife fell asleep during a blowjob and I counted it as unfinished

( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:59, Reply)

hahahahaha
*mental notes*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 10:00, Reply)

I'd say without spluff, it's foreplay.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Feb 2015, 10:13, Reply)

How does swipey define a blowjob?
Lunch
( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)

too many calories

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:51, Reply)

Make your mind up, one minute its too small and the next too many calories.

( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)

it's not the size of the wave it's the taste of the ocean

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:53, Reply)

Oi! After all the pineapple I ate for you!

( Peej, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:56, Reply)

She's not interested unless she has to pay through the nose for it.

( Muns, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 9:58, Reply)