If I've read this board right, the done thing would be to post something about myself, then ask a question of everyone else, related to what I've just posted.
Then, to avoid upsetting the crybabies that frequent this board, I should ask a lowest common denominator question, probably about food.
Am I doing this right?

Alt: something about food, I suppose. Are you eating right now? It's probably rude to talk with your mouth full of cake.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:46, 71 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

oh do shut up monster munch

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:48, Reply)

you're doing pretty well so far
you even remembered to stomp on a dozer thread
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)

NEAR THE TOP
Useful advice for Gonz

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/the-mash-guide-to-the-iwatch-2015031096087
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:54, Reply)

Yes.
Alt: I am not.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)

Alt: I had hot cross buns for breakfast and might have a bacon roll on the way to town

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)

It's not even Easter yet

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:55, Reply)

I might have a mince pie for pudding and there's nowt you can do about it.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

I'm not eating. Other people in work are
They come into work and then eat their cereal. There's a cupboard full of cereals in the kitchen. No one else seems to find this utterly bizarre. I might start coming to work in my pjamas and start ironing my shirt and trousers in the middle of the office.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:00, Reply)

you're right and everybody else in your office is wrong
hope this helps
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:01, Reply)

It's not news to me but thanks anyway

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:02, Reply)

They do that here
Just get up earlier and have breakfast at home or kill yourself. It's that easy
( $$ ✅, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)

I might get that message laminated and put up in the kitchen

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

you should stand for president or sutin

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:13, Reply)

when I was PATesting quite often we'd find desks with a full breakfast setup.
Toasters and waffle grills. W3 always did our best to find a way to fail them and take them away before they got to work.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

Nice side-stepping of a tautology here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)

gotta be careful, some people get quite pedantic about the smallest things.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:07, Reply)

fewer

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:07, Reply)

It's pronounced 'pedantic'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

neither or neither?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

Either

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:10, Reply)

ether.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:11, Reply)

moribund

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:12, Reply)

Yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:11, Reply)

I can't really get behind the "get into work early and eat microwaved porridge at my desk" mindset.
It's bad enough that I eat lunch at my desk - the keyboard's a shameful mess.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON!
crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
From the gang called Niggaz With Attitudes
When I'm called off, I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:02, Reply)

That appears to be a cogent analysis
although your main question should ideally allow us to talk about ourselves as that's our favourite subject. So points deducted there.

Alt: Sausage bap in a bit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:23, Reply)

Thank you for the constructive criticism.
I shall endeavour to learn from this experience.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)

I haven't eaten a thing yet.
But the idea of coffee and some buttery brown toast is becoming increasingly insistent.

Edit: no croissant or OJ.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:24, Reply)

On second thoughts, you're not doing it right if it peters out after 40 minutes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:25, Reply)

I might start a thread today.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:27, Reply)

I can't wait

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:27, Reply)

I'm going to wait and see what it's like before committing to joining in.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)

Not exactly a buyer's market though is it
you take what you can get round here.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:29, Reply)

I'll leave it then.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:29, Reply)

Trouble is, the market has stagnated so much that the sellers don't really have an upper hand either.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:30, Reply)

Doesn't pay to rush into these things, that's why I lurked for several years before committing to post.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:29, Reply)

I'm getting more consistent lols from my emails lately, for instance I just enjoyed a short correspondence with Tom Wang

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

I once worked a job with an instant messenger where people's name were given as first initial and surname.
Poor Mark Ong was always given as "M.ONG".
(McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

there was a girl's university email address doing the rounds recently
her name was megan finger and the university used surname, first 2 letters of forename...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)

Mefinger?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)

Probably northern.

( Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)

Der DERRRR der

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:10, Reply)

Thin Lizzy - Smoke on the water?

( Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:12, Reply)

I think that makes you the worst kind of racist, meaty.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)

I just got a letter calling me and my employers 'disgusting liars'
I'm just composing the 'get fucked you boohoo prick' letter in response.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)

Please add ABLOOBLOOBLOO.jpg

(McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:45, Reply)

I suppose "^ upset" wouldn't work in letter form.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)

And yet it's so effective here.

(McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

There are ways.

( Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

I would like to welcome El Monstro Giganto the off topic board
Hiya!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)

Oh right, you're board spokesman now, are you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)

Good evening.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)

*starts gaz petition*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:44, Reply)

*defects to 4rthur*

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:56, Reply)

The orange place.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Gambling addict!

( Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:03, Reply)

All hail King Dozer.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:45, Reply)

going a bit far mate

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:49, Reply)

I crave an authority figure.
Bit of a lost cause, here.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 9:57, Reply)