We spent the happy last hour* of the show putting off the 'brochure collectors'**....
...part of the welcome pack they were given by the organisers was a USB stick. We offered to load as much information as they wanted on to it (we no longer issue brochures, all of our literature is supplied digitally). Some were actually quite crestfallen when we didn't give them any paper.

*The worst soul-crushing hour you will ever experience - worse even than Merthyr Tydfil on a wet Thursday afternoon in November.
**One of the regular denizens of the trade show along with mug collectors, pen ponces and armchair pontificators.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:31, 2 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I was once given a pen knife by a large Japanese corporation
which would have made a nice souvenir if it wasn't shortly after 9/11 and I was traveling with just hand luggage.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)

On that kind of note....
I've just cleared out my laptop/paperwork/charger/fuckingeverythingelseIuse carry-on case. In it I found (at last) my victorinox multi-tool, which has several blades and pointy things in it. Strange thing is, it's been in there for at least a year, a year in which I've taken the case on a plane 12 times and the bag's been x-rayed 12 times.
So much for airport security
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

The real 'security' takes place behind a partition wall. It involves men with guns and surgical gloves.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:50, Reply)

on 9/13, travelling to Madrid I had in my wallet two Stanley craft knife blades, happy memories of outrageous and costly drung abuse

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:50, Reply)

my friend came back from the philippines with two enormous meat cleavers
to this day i bet she's never used them, for good or for evil
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:52, Reply)

in their back pocket and allowed in the passenger compartment?

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)

Last flight out of Stuttgart...
...They tested the screen of my (company issue) iPad* for drugs!

*Wouldn't buy one - overhyped piece of shit**


**Awaits snorts of derision and spittle-flecked harassment from the fanbois
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

customs at Oslo always had it in for me. same guy every time and very annoying he was.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:07, Reply)

What, I usually just dash all that shit in the bin if they insist on giving it to me.
How many people shamelessly said 'none' when you asked them how much info you wanted on the stick?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

Just two
One looked almost in tears when we said we had no hard copies of brochures, just digital ones. I see him at all of the 3D tech shows, tyre kicker who owns a Reprap and bullshits about needing an industrial machine for his 'inventions'.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:44, Reply)