Banking Newsflash
Just in case you are not aware of the effect that the English and American banks problems are having on Japan's banks, I can confirm that Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up, Bonsai Bank is cutting its branches and trading in the Kamikaze Bank has ceased after its shares nose dived. At the Karate Bank 500 employees have been given the chop.

Analysts also report that something fishy is happening at the Sushi Bank as customers are getting a raw deal.


you all know i'm not witty enough even to try and claim i wrote this! but it made me laugh so i thought i'd inflict it on you lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:16, 18 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

By all rights
there should be a SPANG involved here, but I just don't have the heart...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:20, Reply)

hahah
Brilliant :)

Glad to see something other than scaremongering and tales of woe! *hands Rswipe a G&T*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Christ

( Kroney, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Excellent
Very funny.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)

*panic buys*
Great stuff!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:44, Reply)

groan
and double groan!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Tam Cowan
had that in Daily Record this morning. It made me laugh but he's still a tosser.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:22, Reply)

Given that
Heroes season two starts on BBC2 tonight surely you should've said ...

YATTAH!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Ouch.
@djtrialprice:
Can you line up one person for shooting?
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)

I don't know
But I'm all up for giving it a bloody good go
( djtrialprice, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)

I can only hope
that the annoying twat Howard from the Halifax advert is going to get the sack soon.
That's my biggest concern about the 'crisis' at the moment.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 16:11, Reply)

Howard has been sacked
apparently HBOS thought customers didn't want to see people singing and being all happy about banking in the current economic climate. Or ever, if they had any fucking sense.
( Malaka omdz, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 16:38, Reply)

apparently
the river bank is now also feeling the ripple effect...

really hope that's true about howard though. smug little baldy beardy git.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Too bad that
Northern Rock was taking itself for granite...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 17:14, Reply)

but if any of the banks
have a charge over a ship, is it a fixed or a floating charge?

*hangs self*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 17:23, Reply)

From the Glasgow Herald
A SUITED chap in Rick's Bar in Edinburgh was expressing his surprise at the speed of Spanish bank Santander's takeover of Bradford & Bingley.

"That's because nobody," interjected his colleague, "expects the Spanish acquisition."
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 17:26, Reply)

@rachel
fixed or floating - is that down to weather or not it's on the water or in dry dock?

(too literal a translation?).

Also: HowardBrown=pr!ck.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 17:37, Reply)

additionally
The Shiitake hedge fund was said to be mushrooming after taking short positions in virtually all of the affected banks,

at the Fri-Rice Bank the customers are steaming

and the deal with the customers at the Sushi bank is that they fell for the an all-you-can-buy option
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:56, Reply)