Morning all!
I went to see the marvellous Bill Bailey last night. Part of his act was ripping the piss out of the Killers' "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" line.

He suggested "I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster", and said someone had then thought of the line "I've got mange, but I'm not a manger".

My offering is "I've got cock, but I'm not a cockerel".

What silly lyrics can you think of?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:20, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've got crabs
But I'm not a crab fisherman?
(GONEism, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)

I've got the clap
But I'm not from Clapham.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:26, Reply)

I've got meteors
But I'm not a meteorologist.
(GONEism, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:29, Reply)

I've got Aids
but I'm not an aider?

Nah, that's a bit rubbish, I'll admit.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:29, Reply)

I've got polish

But I'm not Polish.

meh
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:32, Reply)

I got Sauce but I'm
not a sausage?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:33, Reply)

I've got kids
But I'm not a kiddie-fiddler
( Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Hmm
I've got air but I'm not an aircraft.

I've got cars but I'm not a carpenter.

I've got pee but I'm not a peado paed kiddy fiddler.

Edit: mindpiss Kaol :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:34, Reply)

I've got a Killers album
But I'm not actually deaf (although I wish I were).
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:40, Reply)

I've got cancer
But I'm not Jade Goody.

Yaaaaaay!
(GONEism, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:41, Reply)

I've got an arse
but I'm not an arsonist
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:42, Reply)

...
I've got a mack, but I'm not a mackem?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:42, Reply)

I got P
And I'm now in prison.
( Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:43, Reply)

I've got sole
but I'm not a fish lover.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:45, Reply)

I've got a mole...
but I'm not a molar
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:47, Reply)

I've got cricket
but I'm not a cricketer.

*sighs*

*gives up*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:51, Reply)

I've got a minge
But I'm not a minger?
(SnowmanSnails, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:51, Reply)

*scrapes barrel*
I've got balls
but I'm not a ballbag

I've got cons
but I'm not a convict


*can't think of any more*
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:55, Reply)

I've got joy...
but I'm not a joiner.





I am good with wood though.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:56, Reply)

I used to be a joiner.
Great fun. And I've still got all my fingers.

I'm good with my fingers :)

Ooh... I've got fingers but I'm not fingermouse.

*cough*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)

I've got falls
But I'm not a fallopian tube.

...yeah ok, I quit too.
(GONEism, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:58, Reply)

I've got post
But I'm not a poster?

Oh wait.

Now I suppose I am.
(Concrete Cow, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Or indeed
I've got her, but I've not got herpes. Yet.
(Concrete Cow, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:34, Reply)

I've got you

but I'm not a eunoch
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:16, Reply)

^Che
Brilliant!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:04, Reply)

I've got ubbs
but I'm not ubiquitous...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 23:11, Reply)