As today is my birthday
I wondered if you'd be kind enough to give me my horoscope?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:15, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Todays Horoscope
from the daily mash

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
Your keen awareness of the needs of those around you comes in handy today. As does a bumper pack of tissues and a giant electric eel.
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:30, Reply)

How odd...
I got:

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
Beware, for those that oft quote about the day they were born, shall suffer from a rock to the head.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Don't let other people influence your future. That's what a vague and arbitrary set of cosmic indicators is for.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

To a fellow Sagittarian
Your stars indicate that you shall spend much of your day pretending to do some work, whilst actually cocking around on an internet humour site talking to like-minded people until it's time to go home.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:03, Reply)

Your a sagittarius?
No wonder I like you : )
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Oh yeah
half man, half horse, licence to shit in the street.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:12, Reply)

After a bit of research,
It turned out that my damn star-sign is the Goat :|

*fears*
( Cawl, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:24, Reply)

Hi Kaol!
*waves*

*winks*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Mr Horsey-Horseyman
Pluto is in the lower orbit of Uranus, so unfortunately today you're going to die of a massive anal haemorrage.

It's probably best to say goodbye to your family now.

*hops on train to Buckinghamshire carrying large sexual implements*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

One for you.
nobeliefs.com/horrorscope.htm
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

*raises eyebrow*
*calls-in monkey-related bomb hoax to MK train station*
*battens down the hatches*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:07, Reply)

The Coming of the Age of Sagittarius!
Sagittarius has been cancelled this week.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

happy birthday No3l!
*birthday hugs*

your horoscope says it's your birthday today and that you'll eat cake.

woo!

according to my star sign, there's two of me.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

hmmm
no there isn't.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Yay! another Gemini.
Four makes a party.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

are you one too Miss blouses?
yays!

when's your birthday then?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:34, Reply)

I think bgb's birthday was a couple of weeks ago?
I could easily have her confused with someone equally senile though :)

*hides*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

@Tulip
14th June.

Amazing fact 1 - The same as Boy George.


Knees No3L in the goolies.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Sorry, sorry!
I meant beautiful, of course. Beautiful!

*winces*

Edit: these are all great, thanks guys! I never let anyone know it's my birthday so I thought I'd shout it out here today. You've put a smile on my face today :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Now then
Were any of us right..?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Dec 2008, 19:29, Reply)

DG
You were pretty fucking spot on mate.

Although Mystic Meg you ain't.

More like Mystic Meh :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 19:42, Reply)

^ or Septic Peg?
I predicted a rumbling in uranus....

Happy birthday chuck!

In the absence of cake, have *hugs & wine*

x
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 20:00, Reply)

Fourteen mins of birthday left...
Woo! *hic*

Thanks miss!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 23:46, Reply)

Your horoscope for today:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIVeyTG9KB0
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 0:53, Reply)