Hello third world internet.
What was YOUR highlight of the weekend*?



*Or, if you're a bit lonely and want to show off in front of girls, feel free to mix up that previous sentence into something that makes you want to argue with somebody you'll never, ever meet on the internet.
JMG holds the right not to respond if he has no idea who you are or what you're going on about. No fat birds.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:01, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

what
if the people who respond to you are gentlemen of a portly persuasion?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:08, Reply)

I'm more comfortable these days with the slightly tubby, who can seperate real life from the internet.
I've really made strides in the attempt to reach out to lesser people than myself.
I'm like a UN peace keeping force. With an array of lovely hats.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Your hats
make me want to do a tubby sex wee.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

Managing
not to completely lose my rag with some prick I met at a party, even though I was absolutely shitfaced.

It was one of those situations where I'd got taken there by some girl I'd met and hardly knew anyone, which is usually sufficient motivation for me to cause a huge scene/fight/make a prick out of myself, so I'm feeling rather smug I didn't.

She turned out to be a mental as well, disappointing.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:14, Reply)

JMG holds the right not to respond if he has no idea who you are or what you're going on about
Promise?
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Also, "NO FAT BIRDS"!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)

Replying!

(__, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 13:09, Reply)

I had a nice christmas dinner
Although some real life bastard took my pate starter and so I had to have prawn cocktail.

Great injustice.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:25, Reply)

I think I see a blossoming online relationship
between JMG and Gloria
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:27, Reply)

Nah,
He can't handle women.

They seem to cause JMG flaccidity.

Online

And probably off it too.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

TO THE JMG MAKE-BELIEVE FACTORY!
Quick! Let's frantically make stuff up about JMG!
But what about?
SEX!!!!!!!
Great plan, fellow internet user. That'll show him!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:39, Reply)

It brings
a small tear to my eyepenis when I think about those two getting it on.

His spotty white bottom pumping frantically above the waistline of his psychadelic pantaloons, his spotty cravat blowing in the frantic exhalations of Gloria as she writhes beneath him.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:38, Reply)

DON'T STOP THE INTERNET MAKE-BELIEVE MACHINE!
I want a valid excuse to get wound up at JMG!
But do you really want to be seen as being upset on the internet in front of girls?
MORE SO THAN EVER! THEY'LL THINK I'M GREAT IF I CAN DEBATE WITH JMG!
Excellent plan! Pass me my libel handbook!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:41, Reply)

Why do you get
so wound up on this board, and yet you take it all in good humour on /talk. If anything it should be the other way round.

Calm down JMG, it's only the internet. I didn't really mean it either. I'm sure you have a lovely tan on your bottom.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)

I certainly don't get wound up. I was correct as ever at the top of the thread, where I pointed out some of you might get yourselves wound up at absolutely nothing to impress girls on the internet.
:(

I honestly at times believe I set all trends on the internet.
Why on earth are you now claiming I'm different to the /talk users? I call them names every day. There's only about ten or so of them left who continuously make up JMG facts. Whereas on here it'd seem you and Gloria can't leave one of my threads alone without comment.

:(

Oh nerds.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)

But surely
if no-one ever replied to your threads, you would feel upset?

Also, this:

"DON'T STOP THE INTERNET MAKE-BELIEVE MACHINE!
I want a valid excuse to get wound up at JMG!
But do you really want to be seen as being upset on the internet in front of girls?
MORE SO THAN EVER! THEY'LL THINK I'M GREAT IF I CAN DEBATE WITH JMG!
Excellent plan! Pass me my libel handbook!"

Would be pounced upon by your good self as ample evidence of being upset. On the internet. Where one of us to post it.

So how come the double standards? It's hardly fair is it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:56, Reply)

A make-believe conversation where one person involved is completely fictional is used to make a point on QOTW?
This is surely new lows in the world of make-believe, even by QOTW's standards?
Even I know you can do better than that. Come on now.




If nobody replied to my threads you wouldn't feel the urge to try and suppress my glowing awesome, though. Especially on QOTW where I have made serious in-roads into bonding b3ta together as one.
Like a true hero. It's really only a matter of time before the JMG for MOD rally gains fruit.

I expect you'll be a supporter of this cause, also.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:01, Reply)

I'll tell you what's low
I try and have a simultaneous conversation with you on both /talk and OT and you disappear.

That makes me sad face.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:08, Reply)

my highlight
I had some sex :0)

It was nice.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:39, Reply)

JMG response-o-meter
TO THE JMG MAKE-BELIEVE FACTORY!
Quick! Let's frantically make stuff up about JMG! women on the internet who think JMG is a tedious cunt
But what about?
SEX!!!!!!! how much to you weigh (repeat x 1000)
Great plan, JMG. That'll show him! her
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Are you still not telling us how mugh you weigh?
:(

That's not very fair. I ask, unlike yourself, who assumes.
:(



Yet again you're all starting to get yourselves worked up at me, simply because I asked how your weekend went.
Oh internet! Can't we all just stop moaning at popularity?

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( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:45, Reply)

I had an awesome weekend
I won a pub quiz and drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of food (being a tubby and all).

What did JMG get up to? Offline.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:47, Reply)

I'm not telling YOU people! You aren't /talk!
Come on!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:50, Reply)

what i really want to know, is
does jmg talk like this in real life? offline? with surplus italics and question/exclamation marks and short sentences and a very healthy dollop of self-worth?

would be amusing to hear. we should invite jmg to a qotw bash! in real life! offline!*

*no portly gentlemen
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:49, Reply)

If I attended there'd be merry hell over on /talk.
I honestly feel there'd be jealousy, moaning and big fat gravy tears for days on end.
In all fairness. The fact Piston_Broke is accepted and now encouraged to these b4sh things puts me off even more.
The man ages people.

I'm not one for online discussions, offline. Also, I'd fear a wheezer coming at me with a steak knife and a handbook of all the insults I'd written at him over the years.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Show us how it's done then Oh Great JMG
The floor is yours.

Can you entertain?

Or will you go floppy?
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:55, Reply)

I think with each reply you make, I appear more popular on your board of friends and attention.
It's hardly a "home sweet home" (what does that even mean?) thread and it's looking VERY popular, no doubt.

Popularity and JMG go hand in hand. You yourself say I'm VERY entertaining.
Chins up. Now you're arguing with your own previous comments.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:03, Reply)

@ JMG
Why wouldn't Piston_Broke be accepted?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:58, Reply)

My GOD the man is the antidote to joy.
Many the night I've not have human contact with him, but he's dragged down oh so many highs we've experienced on /talk with his comments and his general misery.
I honestly feel he's my arch-nemesis. A seriously dour man who could halt a parade to celebrate the re-birth of Christ with a anecdote about a recent trip away with the Scouts or something.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:06, Reply)

JMG
doesn't like Piston Broke. But I've not found out the reason why.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:00, Reply)

Piston_broke's
accepted because he doesn't act like a cunt.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:05, Reply)

Is THIS QOTW's manifesto?
Please say this isn't a common school of thought.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:08, Reply)

It's amazing
how uppity women get when no one will shag them.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Goatworrier
Yep. Female who thinks you're repulsive.

Must be a lezza.

Or fat.

Or sexually frustrated.

That'll show her.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:15, Reply)

Stop falling out with random people.
You'll never be accepted as somebody who isn't easily wound up if you shout at EVERYBODY you don't agree with.
Take it from Mr. Popularity here. I've built up many bonds with many ugly people on the internet simply through using my elegant style of discussion and through being lovely to even the most hideous of internet user.

You calm yourself down you sweet, sweet little woman.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:20, Reply)

Angry, indignant, impotent and online

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:21, Reply)

JMG FOR QOTW MOD

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:30, Reply)

*Full cape*
Oh yes..
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:33, Reply)

"with many ugly people on the internet "
i really hope you're not referring to b3ta when you say this. noone on this website could possibly be ugly. or fat. or hairy. or all three.

well, apart from one or two. but that is why they are so rude about everyone else. online.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:32, Reply)

People usually like to out themselves in time.
Most internet users are ugly, let's not escape nature.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:34, Reply)

"Angry, indignant, impotent and online"
Sigh.

*Checks for examples of angry, indignant & impotent trolling*

"Not a lonely, bored old lemon-juice minge with no two legged friends though

I wonder who wrote that? Someone wobbling. And upset. Online.

I tire of this third rate trolling. If this is the best you two can do then it's pretty lame.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:32, Reply)

so are you saying
that your friends on /talk are ugly? that's some tough love from their hero.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:37, Reply)

I'm more offended that you believe I wouldn't talk down at the /talk users.
I think I only have one friend on the internet, and I've known him for 16 years now. Offline.
Many people LIKE JMG, but that's not to say we're best ever friends!!11 ..That's silly. It's the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:42, Reply)

What amuses me about all of this
Is that people say they're sick of the trolling, but can't seem to stop encouraging the trolls.

JMG is right about one thing. This thread is one of the more popular that have been posted today.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:39, Reply)

It's true.
I can't help but bring in the people.
I'm not here to annoy, I'm here to bring some truths. Some folk just have trouble accepting it, or indeed myself as a leader.
It's a common British issue, try and knock down what is great.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:44, Reply)

Oh, my, what an honour.....
*swoons at JMG*

To tell the truth, I feel a little bit shy. I've never been on one of His threads before. I hope He notices me in the corner.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 18:23, Reply)

*Royal wave*
*Impromptu sexy party*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 18:28, Reply)

Thank angels of the north!
*jumps up and down in excitement*
(inadvertently jiggling jubblies)

He spoke to me :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 18:41, Reply)

If I don't know better I'd say that JMG
is coming to enjoy his time spent on the OT board, and is almost, dare I say it, having conversations with people here...

I'd be delighted if we could lure him away from /talk and their shoes full of gravy.

Also, I have the utmost respect for anyone who speaks in the 3rd person and will henceforth be assuming that JMG does this in real life
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 19:47, Reply)

Get JMG along to a bash.
From the sounds of things he talks like Sherminator from American Pie.

One way to find out... What do you say JMG? Are you game for coming along to a bash or what?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 19:52, Reply)

Ooh JMG
are you going to grace us with your presence at a bash? Preferably a London one so we can titter at your mirthsome jokes and swoon at your svelte body?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:14, Reply)

svelte body psychedelic pantaloons and spotty cravat.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:22, Reply)

Shh Al I was being nice
for a change :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:29, Reply)

So was I!
Why do people think I'm being rude, I would love to meet JMG in real life. I want to see his sartorial greatness.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:49, Reply)

So would I

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:55, Reply)